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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default boB's last two years . . .

    There have been a lot of changes in my life, I'll start with the big news stories first (I feel like I should be on one of the TV Reality shows some of this).

    My brother passed away from lung cancer. He fought and kept telling me until the last week he was going to beat it. His wife kept him at home as he wished and he passed quietly with her at his side. She took such great care of him.

    September 13, 2018 I got a text from my brothers widow saying she had just got a text from a lady who says she has a birth certificate listing my mom as her birth mom. My SIL asked if I knew anything about this, and I said I didn't. I told her I would contact some of the older family members and see if anyone knows anything about it (mom was one of seven and there are still three of her siblings alive and well). I called the oldest sister and she said she had no clue, had never heard anything about it, and as close as she and mom were she thought she would know. She checked with the other two. No one knew anything, however the oldest would have only been about five years old when this woman was born. So I reached out to older cousins and second cousins. One of moms closest cousins (she was moms bridesmaid) was still living, I didn't have a contact number so I called her brother and asked him to have her call me. I told him what was going on. She refused to talk with me. Moms brother called her and she told him she didn't know anything about mom being pregnant and nothing about her having a baby and hung up on him.

    I started talking with the lady who was adopted and asked her how she found the info. She stated the State of MO opened adoption records to anyone adopted in 1955 and before. She had a certified copy of the birth certificate. I said I guess it is possible. Moms brother went ballistic. I explained the situation to the lady and she said what if we did a DNA test. I said ok, and we did one. It turns out we are full brother and sister. Our parents married some 16 months after her birth.

    So now I have a sister. She was born in 1955, our brother Jerry was born in 1958 and I was born in 1961. Martha (my sister) lives in Jackson, MO and is on her second marriage. She and her husband have ten children (four are hers and six are his, and they have adopted each others. If you ask who is who's they say all of them) and 23 grandchildren. My family expanded overnight. I refer to them as the "Multitudes".

    We have become very close, her husband and my partner look at each other and shake their heads and say OMG, there's two of them. We seem to think a lot alike, have the same allergies and both are quilters. She hand pieces and quilts, she doesn't like sewing machines.

    I have moved to Jackson to be close to her, I am working in her company. She and her oldest son have an Real Estate Appraisal company. I am enjoying the relocation and spending time with the family.

    I miss my neighbors and my Quilt Guild friends but I needed to get to know my sister.

    I'll post more of the adventure as time goes.

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    Wow, you have had an adventure. I also have done my dna but so far I've only found mysterious cousins which knowing my Dad's family is definitely NOT a surprise.

    Have you checked with your Dads family? They might know reasons etc. or check with your parents early friends if you can find any. Good luck
    Last edited by LauraP; January 23rd, 2020 at 06:29 PM.
    ATTITUDE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ORDEAL AND AN ADVENTURE

  3. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    Wow! That's one of those stories that it's too good to be true. I must admit, at first I thought it was a scammer, trying to pull one over on you.

    Isn't is a small world. I do hope you'll have a wonderful relationship with your new found family.
    Katrina


    “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
    ― Maya Angelou

  4. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    I did check with my fathers family and no one admits to knowing anything. The entire generation of my father is now deceased, so only the younger ones are left. I laughed and said, I didn't know either side of my family had met a secret they could keep a secret.

    I know what a gift my parents gave to me, even if they didn't think I would ever know. I thank them often.

  5. #5
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    That is soooo cool. i am happy for you. things happen in peoples lives and none of us are perfect. so good for you, enjoy!!!

  6. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    I'm thinking the "I don't know nothing hanging up lady" knew everything, otherwise I don't see why she would get so upset.
    K is for Karen .....................Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.

    Before you speak,
    T - is it TRUE?
    H - is it HELPFUL?
    I - is it INSPIRING?
    N - is it NECESSARY?
    K - is it KIND?


    Check my User Notes.

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  8. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    How interesting and so nice for you! That happened somewhat in our family too. My two cousins from my moms side all of a sudden had a sister in their thirties. Their mom had her before she got married to their dad. The sister was put up for adoption too. Everyone was happy though.



    Lorie

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  10. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    Quote Originally Posted by K. McEuen View Post
    I'm thinking the "I don't know nothing hanging up lady" knew everything, otherwise I don't see why she would get so upset.
    Karen,

    I agree totally. She is one of the three people who mom would have shared this with. But in that day when they swore to take it to their graves, they did. She has since passed. So now there is no one alive that would know for sure.

    But I'm so happy, I'm sure mom and dad didn't realize what a gift I would get at 57 years old.

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  12. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    Congratulations. I'm glad you are getting along so well with your new sibling.

  13. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: boB's last two years . . .

    I'm happy for you! You have a new treasure in your life and isn't it amazing the things you have in common! I will say that your older relative probably knew what happened, but perhaps because of her generation, she still felt a lot of shame attached to what happened. I can understand this. I was born in '48 and my best girlfriend got pregnant and moved away to live with a relative while she had the baby. The baby was given up for adoption and my friend never got over it. My friend made me swear never to tell anyone, and I abided by that promise and supported her throughout the pregnancy by phone (long distance calls cost $$ then) and by visits to where she was living. As far as I know, no one ever told, but a vicious b#$%^ from our high school class who worked in her doctors office told a lot of people. When I was asked I denied it, because that is what she wanted. I even lied to my mother about it when the rumors reached her. But that is because I could never trust my mother. She was a nasty gossip. I hope this helps you understand why some people knew nothing and some people would never talk. It's hard to relate to how things are in today's world. A girl's life was "ruined" by an unplanned, out of wedlock pregnancy. I'm glad your sister contacted you and you are among the multitudes now.

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