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  1. #11
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    Thanks for your thoughts. I feel a little more clear this morning. First thing is, is that there is no emotional attachment for them about the house. They never lived with us except for a couple of years SD wanted to go to the high school near us. Second my SS was never adopted by DH. His ex was pregnant with another guy when they got married. I feel he has no legal say in any decisions if they come up.

    Toni I feel like I was looking in a mirror with your post. My own dad gave his house to his wife with the instructions that when she dies I get half and the other half goes to her four kids to split. Unless she is super human and still living I won't see any of it. This is coming down to how I feel no matter if it's right or not. My SS is an ungrateful ass. I helped him out of a jail jam and he got a cushy sentence. He sent me letters of love and promises of help when he got out. Um, nothing. Up to date I was in the hospital and under care for four months and not one stem or concern.

    Toni I thought all night about a % way of doing this and when I woke up it was like you were talking to me in my sleep. I'm really doing this for my daughters so they don't get caught in any twists. lol


    For how this came up.. my youngest DD's boyfriend was over working on one of my cars I'm giving to one of her friends. He said I really wanted to help you get rid of those cars. Dh has some junk cars that need to be taken away. I told him that's okay you guys take care of it when I croak. They are getting married next April Anyway, he said him and Julie were taking about the house and what will happen with the steps. That's why I considered talking to her since she felt some guilt about taking the retirement funds. But I won't, it was just a thought.

    To be more clear, the house in Calif was a gift to me from my aunt and that can't be messed with.


    Thanks again.



    Lorie

  2. #12
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    You're a good woman, Lorie.
    Toni ... If I keep sewing long enough, will they make their own dinner?

  3. #13
    Applique Angel

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    My mother and stepfather have been married for just over 25 years, but she did tell us - in case it was ever in question - that his son (my stepbrother) was equally written into her will. I don't think we would have ever questioned his equal share of what they have because they've had it together for so long, but she made sure to write it into her will clearly and let us know in advance just in case he passes first and she has everything from him and her after that.

  4. #14
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    Quote Originally Posted by nativetexan View Post
    I always say if there are problems with what I do, I will just come back and Haunt everyone. good luck.
    This is exactly what my Mom used to tell us BTW there were no problems.

  5. #15
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    Bit of a different situation here. My husband's family was blended when all were adults. His mom had money from the sale of her home when they married and paid for 1/2 of their new house. She also got a substantial inheritance from her brother's estate. Plus she worked full time until she retired. She gave his 2 children his personal items (tools, car, misc furniture and memorabilia) when he passed. She had 4 kids who got nothing.

    When she passed the 6 had assumed the estate would be split 6 ways. She had other plans in her will. Each of the kids did get 1/6 of the net sale of only the house. Everything else (life insurance, stocks, bonds, savings accounts, and sale of the household goods and inventory from the small side business she had) was only divided between her 4. She never legally adopted his children and referred to them as her "friends" in her will. Yes, there was animosity and threats from the "steps" but that phrase that Toni quoted was in the will. "Anyone who protests this will gets nothing." They did get part of the estate - just not as much as they had wanted. She made these decisions on her own without consulting or forewarning any of the children with the assistance of a lawyer.

    Her philosophy was her family would get what she put into the marriage and his would get what he put in. I know it's not an easy decision but when she was writing her will she did say that talking to the estate lawyer helped make her decision. Best wishes to you - I know it's not very easy to make this type of decision. Sometimes it's easier to just discuss this with a disinterested 3rd party.
    Last edited by Judy, USMC; October 31st, 2019 at 01:24 AM.

  6. #16
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Choices in making a will

    Thanks for that story Judy. I like her philosophy thinking. If everyone remembers my stories of DH living in a tent in the backyard it shows how much he put into it. That's about what my stepkids put into it too. I have a lot to think about that's for sure.



    Lorie

  7. Thanks Judy, USMC thanked for this post

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