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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default Cell phones and Grandkids

    Ooh I just have to vent a little here! My dd is divorced and my gd lives with her but her Dad has her on weekends. She's a little spoiled, an only child used to getting her own way. She's 7. Well Dad bought her a cell phone! We keep her 2 days a week but now school is starting so we won't see her that often, and not the weekly sleep overs we had all summer. Last week she brought her phone and was an absolute brat when I took it away. She pouted and moped and kept saying I want my phone back!! She sat on the couch with her arms crossed and wouldn't do anything. Refused to eat lunch or go outside, look at books, play games, and wouldn't even come in the kitchen to help me make chocolate chip cookies, something shoe usually usually loves. I washed a big load of cloth napkins and asked her to help me fold them. At first she said she didn't know how, then she deliberately did such a sloppy job I told her to refold them and she refused and threw them on the floor. I tried to talk to her about her attitude (and no I did not yell) and she stuck her fingers in her ears. When my dd came to pick her up I told her some of this and she said I was making too much of it and she was just having a bad day. This was about the first time I was actually happy to see her leave! I want to be ready for next time. What could I have done differently?

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  3. #2
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    Oh how sad, the only thing I can think of, was she given a warning before taking phone away? Set up the rules before having to take any action, sometimes is helpful. My heart is heavy for you. Hope other have some suggestions.

  4. #3
    Rotary Pro

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    Oh wow. Such an attitude at only 7. I would have sent her to a bedroom without a tv or any entertainment until she was ready to come out with an adjustment to her attitude

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  6. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    Oh Jocelyn. I feel for you. Clearly this is behaviour that both parents are learning to tolerate. You did what you could, given the behaviour.

    I know when my DD would act this way, I gave her 2 choices & she had to pick one. Neither of them favoured her. She did eventually learn that her actions have consequences. Perhaps the next time your GD comes over, her parents must reinforce the fact that phone is not brought to grandma.

    Good luck with that. We just finally got my kids to stop texting while we're together. Now to get SS & DIL to do the same. Very annoying.

    Enjoy life and do what makes you happy. Everything else will follow.

    Every day I try to do one thing that challenges my comfort zone.

  7. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    A seven year old is not old enough, or responsible enough to have their own cell phone.
    pat.

    No rain....no rainbows!



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  9. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    Quote Originally Posted by bubba View Post
    A seven year old is not old enough, or responsible enough to have their own cell phone.
    My daughter just got her girls (age 11 and 8) watches with the ability to phone or text contacts that her parents allow. They also have GPS tracking. DD is able to contact them when picking up from school or dance class, etc. (“I’ll wait for you at the corner.”) or when they’re momentarily separated in a crowd. (Disneyland or the mall) It’s really all they need at this age.

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  11. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    Oh Jocelyn, this must be aggravating and sad. Maybe at the start of her next visit, tell her she has an allotted amount of minutes (of your choosing) to play with her phone, after that the phone is put away. As far as the pouting & sitting with her arms folded on the couch & not wanting to do anything.......maybe just let her sit there while you go about your day. The key would be trying to act like it doesn't bother you....which will be hard. If she doesn't get a reaction from you maybe she will realize the pouting isn't working.

    I feel for you and hesitated to give a suggestion because I have learned that it's always easy to make suggestions when you are not the one in the middle of the problem being discussed. Hugs to you.

    I also feel that 7 years old is way to young for a cell phone. There are so many dangers out there that they don't understand.
    Last edited by pcbatiks; September 3rd, 2019 at 02:40 PM.
    "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

    Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
    Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

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  13. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    I agree with Bubba!

    I'd tell mom, bad days are excuses for bad behavior that needs to be addressed not ignored.

    Then, I'd tell both Mom, Dad, and child, the cell phone is not coming in. It's your house your rules. If it's snuck in, I'd take it and put it up again until whoever comes and picks her up.

    Stand your ground! A 7 year old is too young to have a cell phone!
    Katrina


    “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
    ― Maya Angelou

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  15. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    I have mixed feelings about a 7 year old having a cell phone. A child needs to be able to (and to know that they can), contact their parents at any time! Especially a child who's time is divided between their parents. At that age, they especially need to know that they can talk to mommy or daddy anytime, and that they aren't "out of sight, out of mind".

    I know, I know, some will say, but they can use Grandma's phone....but ask yourself how many of us actually have a landline anymore (I don't), and those that don't (and rely on cell phones) have a security code on their phone (I took mine off): have you shared that code with your grandchild or children ?

    I do believe in limiting them to very standard cell phones (call & text only)... no internet access at all! And that parents should monitor the phone usage (check the recent call list to see who and how often/long calls are being made to and from), set the parental controls, and set limits and monitor use!!!!

    But the big issue here today, is the Granddaughter's attitude. Yup any 7 year old who's newest toy was taken away is going to pout and be obnoxious. They're going to test their limits. This was true 50 years ago, and it will be true 50 years from now.

    But Jocelyn, you did the right thing setting limits...Grandma's house...Grandma's rules! And also by discussing it with your daughter.

    Next visit, when she arrives, remind your GD of your rules, and limits on the phone (and attitude), and stick to your guns! She may not like it, she may throw another tantrum, but in the long run what she needs is to know that Grandma is consistent and that is something she may really need from you, whether she realizes it or not.

  16. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Cell phones and Grandkids

    I agree with most all said. Just let the parents and your granddaughter know the phone is off limits while at your home. If she sits and pouts again, ignore her and go about your day. I think that works for most at that age. She will realize at some point tat her attitude is not welcome and she has the ability to change it. It is a difficult position to be in, but if you dont stand your ground she will take over.
    Karen
    Life is short - live it up while you can

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