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  1. #11
    Missouri Star

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    Apr 2014
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    My late husband loved that I quilted and he never complained that I spent money on fabric, machines ect. I can't remember him objecting to me giving one as a gift. After you have been quilting for a few years it seems like they would just start to pile up if you don't give them as gifts . I also love that Old Newbie's that "giving is a part of your hobby".

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  3. #12
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    All posts above contain good suggestions and ideas. My dh sometimes says that all the quilts I give had better be appreciated by those receiving them. Nothing about the cost of the hobby. He has bought me every single one of my 5 machines and one of them is a sit down quilter!! The key to any relationship is communication, you need to explain to him how important it is for you to gift your creations. That it is a stress reliever and your creative outlet. He might figure out how important your hobby is for your well-being.

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  5. #13
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2013
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    My DH always has been supportive of my quilting hobby. He is in poor health; I'm his caregiver. Sewing/quilting is something I can do at home, be present with him in the house, even though I'm not necessarily in the same room. We both are retired. I also have a large stash, so I don't buy much fabric any more.

    DH had his own hobby for many years -- HO model railroading. I never objected to his hobby or the $ he spent, or the time he spent in his hobby room. It was a mental health thing for him, especially the year he went through a major depression.

    Could this objection to your quilting be more of a control issue? I think communication & clearing the air on this issue would be an important to do.

  6. #14
    Applique Angel

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    Jan 2018
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    as your half of a relationship would ask why objects,
    it could be he is not used to giving.
    if its the time thing perhaps get him to have a go, that way your doing something together.
    budgeting wise, yes you already have the fabric, but fabric costs whether to replace or put in stash. then there is the machine, thread, notions ect.
    good luck lets hope can resolve. happy quilter = happy relationship.

  7. #15
    The Guild President

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    Sep 2014
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    First off never take a partner to a quilt store with you Seriously my husband has always been very supportive of my quilting. In the early years however he was a little odd about gifting. I remember him once saying "Can't you just give them a quilt from Penneys?!" when I was gifting a wedding quilt. He would never say that now. I think at the time I was giving more quilts than I was keeping and he wanted us to have some. Now he is much more generous and is even quite proud when I gift a quilt. He understands that this is just part of me and my quilting and he is glad that I have a hobby that brings me joy.

  8. #16
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2012
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    I've given away many a quilt... my husband doesn't tell me what I should and shouldn't do. He always asks "Who is this quilt for?" And we move along.

    I am not sure how your relationship is on a day to day basis, I just know my husband knows I make that decision. I wouldn't even compromise, my hobby, my choice. I don't know how else to say it. I don't tell him how to golf, He doesn't tell me how to quilt.

  9. #17
    Missouri Star

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    Mar 2012
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    New Mexico
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    Thanks again for all the advise. I think he's not used to giving to others than family. I freely give with my hobby and always have. It's a foreign concept to him. I'm not used to anyone entering my quilting space either, I do appreciate the interest though. I will just comunicate how happy it makes me to gift small projects to co workers for their birthdays. I have to add he has the most stuff I have made made for anyone, he is not left out, ever! Lol thanks again ��

  10. #18
    Rotary Pro

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    Dec 2018
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    cushing, OK
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    I make quilts for my sanity, keeps me from thinking about other things, I give because it's my nature to do so. I can't take all of these with me, so my pleasure is knowing I left a little of me behind, be it good or bad!! Don't get me started on entering my sewing space! I thing that was accidently left out of the 10 commandments.
    When you have decided what you believe, what you feel must be done, have the courage to stand alone and be counted
    Eleanor Roosevelt

  11. #19
    The Guild President

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    Mar 2016
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    MI
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    Quilting is something you love, and giving is one of your attribute that makes you, who you are. It's a package deal. We all are. Love us as we are, or leave us.
    That said, there are questions you may need to explore: Are your bills paid? Do you struggle financially? Is there some sensible reason your partner feels the need to regulate your spending?
    Maybe your partner only sees the money, and not the benefit to you.
    I mean take golf for instance. That's a lotta cash to something intanglible, isn't it? Yet people pay $1,000's for equipment, and then hundreds more for the privlege of playing for a couple hours a week. It benefits the golfer because they enjoy it.
    Compare that to quilting that we can do for many more hours, and end up with something spectacular that we can chose to keep or give away!

  12. #20
    Designer Diva

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    Mar 2014
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    Default Re: Has anyone encountered your partner not being okay with gifts?

    My husband and I both have our own hobbies. He golfs, and I sew (and knit and crochet, etc. etc.) It took a few years in the earlier times of our marriage to recognize that our hobbies are our own and are activities that make us happy. He doesn't come into my sewing room, but will come to the door and ask, "What are you working on now?" He never asks about the cost. I don't mess with his golf clubs or golf cart! He likes to watch a lot of TV, and I don't care for it as much. We have different tastes in TV and movies, plus I like to read and he doesn't. But, we've been married for 40 years, and have made it all work. It takes time.

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