Hi Guest, Welcome to the quilting forums, register now —or—

Page 3 of 5 FirstFirst 12345 LastLast
Results 21 to 30 of 42
  1. #21
    Machine Stitcher

    Join Date
    Jul 2018
    Posts
    12
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I can see that we all are in this boat in some way and thanks for all of your enlightening responses. We didn't feel right just stopping cold turkey so am sending cards and money this year, but probably next year will discontinue the money part. I do not get a thank you or email or phone call to say they have received such--they just take it with no response to us. We are tired of this and think we will just tell them that birthday gifts are being discontinued. By the way, for my birthday I did not receive a card or anything from two of my children (I have three). The same for Mother's Day--got only two cards. For my own parents, I always sent a least a card as we did not live close to my parents. I never forgot them or neglected them. Has this been your experience also?

  2. Thanks 201 Treadler thanked for this post
  3. #22
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Posts
    6,250
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    With 19 gc we do not send cards or money for birthdays! I do text the moms and dads and tell them to pass on my happy birthday to you message! They don't get money or gifts! What could I possibly give them they don't have. I hold Gramma camp each summer and try to make memories! I also give them my views on numerous subjects including written thank you cards etc. Each child always thanks me after every meal and for everything I do for them. I do buy a gift for each of my own children for birthdays.. at Christmas I make a gift for each GC and adult in attendance at our Christmas get together and believe me, they aren't spectacular but show I care. Forget money and gift cards! People really don't need stuff!!!

  4. Thanks SallyO'Sews, 201 Treadler, Claire Hallman, shermur thanked for this post
  5. #23
    Applique Angel

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    360
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    saw this and thought would share.
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/LIFE-MANIFE...gateway&sr=8-6

  6. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post
  7. #24
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Jul 2013
    Location
    Colorado
    Posts
    8,744
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Treadler ~ I like that! Thanks for sharing. I might just have to copy that down & use it.

    We quit giving birthday & Christmas gifts/money to our kids when they turned 18 or graduated from HS. Same holds true for gr. kids. We have only 1 GC under 18 now. We never see her. She lives in another state. Have never received a thank you. It seems like today's kids are very unappreciative. Maybe some of it is the parents' faults b/c they do not teach their children how to write thank you notes or stress the importance of it. We (our generation) certainly were taught differently.

    I make one exception -- I do try to send BD & Christmas $ to my married gr. dau.; they're barely making it from pay check to pay check. I send $ for the 2 GGSs at Christmas time. She always is appreciative. I know his parents help them some with groceries & in other ways.

    DH & I do receive BD & Mother's Day & Father's Day cards from all 4 boys, 2 of which are my step-sons. If not a card, then an e-mail. Sometimes a phone call. They rarely remember our anniv., although I send them cards every year for theirs.

  8. Thanks 201 Treadler thanked for this post
  9. #25
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Northern California, USA
    Posts
    3,999
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Quote Originally Posted by ktdid View Post
    Cut the string & count your losses, explaining you did not raise them to be so disrespectable. It's also called common courtesy!
    You think you have it bad? try having an EX husband kidnap your twin girls at the age of 8, not finding them for 9 years.....
    and they hate YOU because they believed all the lies of me not wanting them anymore. I died the day they were taken.... now
    all I have is nightmares for memories. A person can't make another believe or act the way they should, painful to say the least, but like it or not you have to say NO MORE...
    What a heartbreak! Did your husband ever suffer consequences for kidnapping your children?
    Toni ... If I keep sewing long enough, will they make their own dinner?

  10. #26
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Northern California, USA
    Posts
    3,999
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Quote Originally Posted by Kay4 View Post
    HI everyone,
    It makes me sad to post this but I need your thoughts and help on this situation. We have three children who are married and every year for their birthdays we send them a card and a check. The one child/husband always thanks us but the other two and their husbands do not acknowledge the card or gift or even give us a call to say they received it. We send to the grandchildren also and with the exception of one, they do not acknowledge the gift cards and cards that we send either. They are all out of state. We are thinking of discontinuing the check/gifts to the adults and just send a card to them (they are all in their forties). What are your thoughts on this situation and what do you do? Do you have a certain age that you stop sending money to your grown children? Any ideas will be helpful. Thanks.
    I have a suggestion. This can be a learning experience for your grandchildren. Send the cards and the money this year and include a note that says:
    I'm from an older generation, and I find that I'm expecting things that were expected for my peers, but aren't expected for yours. But I can't help it; it's hurts when I send you gift cards or money and I never hear from you. I end up not knowing whether or not you ever received my gift. I love you so much. That's why I send gifts for your birthday and for Christmas. Please send me an eMail or a text to let me know that you received this year's gift.

    Don't threaten to withhold future gifts as that won't be received well. Don't expect a "paper letter," handwriting isn't even being taught in some schools these days! Just take note of who acknowledges your gift, and send accordingly next year. They'll figure it out! But you're also giving them another chance.
    Toni ... If I keep sewing long enough, will they make their own dinner?

  11. Thanks Claire Hallman, MSN thanked for this post
  12. #27
    Rotary Pro

    Join Date
    Dec 2018
    Location
    cushing, OK
    Posts
    88
    Post Thanks / Like

    Unhappy Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Quote Originally Posted by GuitarGramma View Post
    What a heartbreak! Did your husband ever suffer consequences for kidnapping your children?
    NO! but I heard he died several months ago, in the bay area of calif. And yes I'm not sorry he died, I hope he rots in ….for it! I'm sure he's paying now!!! I firmly believe one has to pay for what you do in life good or bad, I'm just glad I lived long enough to see it. I always worried that cancer or lupus would do me in before I knew he paid for his actions. Am I a horrible person for not being sad he died, probably by some of you, but your not the ones who lived this nightmare.
    When you have decided what you believe, what you feel must be done, have the courage to stand alone and be counted
    Eleanor Roosevelt

  13. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post
  14. #28
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    SE KS
    Posts
    1,724
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    No, you aren't horrible. I had a mini party when my ex died. He molested our daughters for years and unfortunately the courts slapped him on the wrist. I always said I wanted to be a fly on God's big toe when W tried to explain his actions to God. God let him die an excruciatingly painful death with bone cancer which I thought was very appropriate. My children and I will live with the results of what he did for the rest of our lives.
    ATTITUDE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ORDEAL AND AN ADVENTURE

  15. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post
  16. #29
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Wisconsin
    Posts
    6,649
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Oh my --ktdid and Laura, I cannot imagine living through such a nightmare caused by your exes. People who abuse their own children are just the lowest form of evil. Any bad thoughts you have are totally justified. I am afraid if I was in your shoes I would be living in a prison cell on a murder rap. I hope their deaths will bring you some peace.

  17. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post
  18. #30
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
    Location
    SE KS
    Posts
    1,724
    Post Thanks / Like

    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    It does
    and the only reason I didn't kill him was cuz then my kids would have lost both parents. Had a lot of VERY serious offers to do the job though.
    ATTITUDE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ORDEAL AND AN ADVENTURE

  19. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •