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  1. #11
    Fabric Fanatic

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    Jun 2018
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I too feel sad for all the broken family relationships. Ours is not perfect by any stretch, but my kids do acknowledge their gifts. If not in person then by phone or text. Now grands, another story!! hahaha. The girl grands are quick to respond but the 6 boy ones, whole different story.. I know they get their gifts because I bug their parents about it!!! And only a birthday gift now, Christmas the parents get a check. I hope the broken families can find some reconciliation before too much time goes by. My prayer for all today.

  2. #12
    Missouri Star

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    May 2013
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    Orlando
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I too am sad to read of the heartache going on. My family has issues all around but the family bond is stronger than those issues. We figure it out no matter what is going on. My girls, granddaughter and I find a time to gather for Christmas even if it is not until January - two nurses with conflicting shifts, one doing some travel nursing, so we adjust. Cant imagine anyone not acknowledging or saying thank you for a gift.

    Praying you all find ways to communicate with those you love. Hugs to all as well.
    Karen
    Life is short - live it up while you can

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  4. #13
    UN-Biased

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    Apr 2014
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    Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I completely understand how you feel. We use to send cards and money to all the children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. It got to the place where I just couldn't keep up. I had them all on my calendar at work, which I seen everyday, but I still managed to forget sometimes. We would still send it, but it would be late. That made me feel really bad.

    Christmas was another issue. I love Christmas, but it was just to difficult trying to figure out what to purchase the older ones. They really didn't need anything and if they did they just went and got it their self. So we decided that anyone over the age of 18 was no longer going to receive Birthday card or money and anyone over the age of 18 would no longer receive Christmas gifts. We still send Christmas cards and we still get together for Christmas, but that is even difficult since everyone has their own families and has several places to go.


    We have two great grandchildren that we send B-day cards and money to. They are 10 and 14. They never call to acknowledge that they even get them let alone thank us for it. We rarely see them and their grandparents live 3 doors up from us so there is no excuse why they couldn't drop in when they are up there. We didn't see them the whole year in 2017 until Christmas when they came to get their money. We didn't see them after that until Christmas 2018 when they came to get their money. We have thought about stopping the B-day and Christmas, but I just can't do that. I guess we will continue until they are 18, and then just forget about it. It is really sad and painful, but I will do what I feel in my heart is right and what I can live with without regret and they will have to live with their actions.

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  6. #14
    Missouri Star

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    Mar 2014
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    Roseville CA
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I would only send cards to the adults that acknowledge them and cards and money
    for the grandkids that acknowledge them. We have stopped giving gifts to a great
    niece because mom and dad couldn't pick up the phone or even text.
    If they ever ask why you stopped, tell them the truth in a nice way.

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  8. #15
    Missouri Star

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    Apr 2014
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    South of Dayton, OH
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Do whatever your heart tells you. There is no 'one size fits all' solution to your situation. Above all try not to nurse the hurt...it will only harm you.
    No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
    Aesop

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  10. #16
    Applique Angel

    Join Date
    Jan 2018
    Location
    UK
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    Am reading this feeling your pain, am thinking are the cards and contents actually being delivered?
    have you sent these by a tracked service?
    if you have and seen your families signature, perhaps send them a letter explaining the situation and your fear of the gifts not getting delivered, if they haven't been receiving this will help mend a misunderstanding, but unless they confirm by telephone that they are receiving your gifts, you are unwilling to send in case being delivered to either incorrect address, or somehow being cashed by someone else.
    fingers are crossed for a good outcome for your family.

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  12. #17
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Jan 2015
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    Hoschton, Georgia
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I have to add that after both MIL & FIL passed within 3 weeks of each other I told my SIL about my breast cancer. She left on a trip to Italy & never mentioned anything. I texted her & asked if she'd forgotten about the diagnosis, chemo or the mastectomy. She blames me on decisions I made years ago on her lack of response. I almost fell out of my chair.

    My advice is to say this: it is what it is. you don't have to like what it is. Just Learn To Live With What It Is.

    p.s. easier said than done.

    That's why I love the people on this forum & I mean LOVE you guys.

    Gina

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  14. #18
    Missouri Star

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    May 2012
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    Tampa, Fl (born & raised)
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I am So sorry. I have four grown children, but only one married and they all live close by. DIL is wonderful about sending Thank You's and my kids always verbally thank me, too. But, my cousin, who is also a quilter has a son that lives out of state with two granddaughters (6 and 11). A couple of years ago, she made them all quilts for Christmas, even though the relationship has been strained at best. Long story but the DIL was totally in the wrong. She knew they arrived by tracking, but never heard one single word. Finally months later, when DS finally called (he wanted something) she asked about them. "Oh, the blankets? yeah we got them". That was it. The "blankets" for the girls were Jenni's Wallflower pattern, I believe - the one with mirror image petals blanket stitched on in each girls favorite color batiks. She spent a good amount of money and LOTS of time and not so much as a thank you even when asked about them.
    Donna

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  16. #19
    Designer Diva

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    Jan 2017
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    MN
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    I am sorry (but not really surprised) to see so much pain inflicted by families. Family relationships are all too often messy and complicated. We tend to bottle our hurt feelings up and not talk about it, because we think everyone else has good family relationships, and we feel ashamed that ours is not. In reality, many others are hurting, too. I am grateful for this forum, and that members can post here and feel supported by others who care.

    For those who are upset with family members, remember that you cannot control what others do or don't do. All you can control is how you react to their behavior. It's not always easy to do, but I have found it helpful and empowering.

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  18. #20
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2015
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    SE KS
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    Default Re: I Need Your Thoughts on This

    As I have always told my kids, "I may not like what you are doing or who you are right now BUT I will always love you."

    If they choose not to appreciate that love that's their problem. I am still going to love them because it makes me happy.
    ATTITUDE IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN AN ORDEAL AND AN ADVENTURE

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