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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2015
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    Default Lets talk about privacy

    As you all know, I am pretty open about who I am and I am gullible (maybe you didn't know that)
    Recently something happened that has me rethinking what I can post on this site and want you all to think before you post.
    Of course, we know this site is not private. But, I honestly don't think we think about who is listening in to our conversations and maybe taking notes, but listen to my story and maybe you will rethink your postings.
    A very lovely person called me on the telephone and was very upfront with me about the fact that she is a lurker and not a member of our forum. She remembered some information that I had posted before retirement and used it to google me and found my phone number. She lives about 80 miles from me and was very open about her introduction to me. She wants us to meet and I am going to have lunch with her. She really sounds like a fascinating person to know.
    This got me to thinking though, that not all the lurkers will be lovely women that I would like to meet and that perhaps over a period of time, you could piece together a great deal of information about any one of us just from little things we mention on our posts. We have become quite intimate friends, you and I, and we want to share personal information. I think that is just human nature. I love my forum friends and think how wonderful it would be if when you are traveling you just dropped by. But, that's my gullibility talking. I think you are all just like me, and probably most of you are.
    So, now that I've said my piece, I am going to scrub my user notes and if you want to contact me, use the PM device which most of us do. I don't know if info that is archived in our posts can be removed and at this point, I'm going to leave that alone. Just be aware, not afraid.

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    The South Carolina countryside
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    I have to say, this sounds a little sketchy to me. I would be careful meeting a stranger. She very well could be as innocent, lovely and friendly as the day is long, but you don't really know that and couldn't know that from a phone conversation. Doesn't it raise a red flag that she went to all that effort to find you? If she is as fascinating and lovely as she sounds, she would no doubt have many local friends and wouldn't need to hunt down strangers on the internet. Please, just be careful.
    Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

    Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!

  3. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Aug 2015
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    Canada
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    Terry,
    This does raise concerns for sure, but I'm certain that she is a lovely person. Perhaps, she has read about your good work and want to meet you to assess you, and make a donation in kind or to the Shriners.

    There are lots of bad, sick people in the world, but there are many good people, and I like to think that quilt groups would attract this type of individual. I would become a recluse if I believed the world is out to get me. Although I'm on FB, I don't post pictures of family there as much any more, or very rarely. I think it's wise not to post pics of your definite vacation plans if no one is staying at your house.

    I respect your fear.

    Enjoy life and do what makes you happy. Everything else will follow.

    Every day I try to do one thing that challenges my comfort zone.

  4. Thanks grammaterry thanked for this post
  5. #4
    The Guild President

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    Jul 2015
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    I have often thought about this very thing. You have to watch what you put out there. Even small tidbits can be used to build a profile of a person. Be conscious of what you type...re-read it and make adjustments to your post as you see fit. I use Terry's advice...be aware, but not afraid.

  6. Thanks grammaterry thanked for this post
  7. #5
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Jun 2016
    Location
    Puyallup, Washington
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    Terry, I'm glad you are meeting in a public place, and I hope a wonderful friendship results. I have had the pleasure of meeting face to face with several of the forum members and my life has been blessed with those experiences and the local friends I have made.

    But your caution about privacy is a valid point. We do tend to share some information openly for all to see without thinking of who else may see it. Also just opening ourselves up, showing that we are warm friendly and generous people can be used against us.

    So have lunch with this person if you feel comfortable doing so, but keep your radar on and trust your instincts.

  8. #6
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Mar 2012
    Location
    Puyallup, WA.
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    I don't know about this site so much, but for sure Facebook, Twitter, Instagram and YouTube are huge savers of private info. I'm cautious in that I don't post my address in my user notes. But, I'm sure savvy people can find you using your IP or whatever.

    Good to be cautious, but for sure not to the point of recluse. I'm echoing what Caroline said. I've met some amazing women because of this forum and made some friendships I am blessed to have, not sure that would have happened w/out this.
    ~~Libby~~

    Quilters make great comforters.

    Friendship is sewn with love and measured by kindness.

  9. Thanks SuzanneOrleansOntario, grammaterry thanked for this post
  10. #7
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Oct 2013
    Location
    Wisconsin
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    Wow. I think it is strange that this woman doesn't belong to the forum but wants to meet you. That feels a little like stalking to me. Make sure when you meet her that your dh knows her name and the name of the place where you are meeting. My address is in my user notes but even if I deleted it, it is pretty easy to google it if someone wanted to find me. Maybe it was a mistake for me to use my real name here in the first place? Thank you for the warning though, and I hope you update us after your lunch.

  11. Thanks Caroline T., grammaterry thanked for this post
  12. #8
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Apr 2014
    Location
    South of Dayton, OH
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    2,750
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    Good advice. Make sure someone is guarding your home while you are away...just in case.
    No act of kindness, however small, is ever wasted.
    Aesop

  13. Thanks Caroline T., grammaterry thanked for this post
  14. #9
    The Guild President

    Join Date
    Nov 2017
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    While I don't believe "everyone's out to get me" I AM something of a recluse and pretty private about my life. But I HAVE seen the damage being too open has done to others, and originating from places just like this group. DO be careful.
    TRUTH is seldom appreciated, unless you happen to agree with it. When you don't agree, you just call it rude.

  15. Thanks cv quilter, Carlie Wolf thanked for this post
  16. #10
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Dec 2015
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    Default Re: Lets talk about privacy

    You all are so very lovely in response and like I said, I can't turn my back on someone reaching out toward me and the possibility of a grand friendship. I have deleted much of my personal info from my profile and have considered changing my user name but am not to that point...yet...
    I have (by this persons invitation) googled her and all the info that I was given is there. I am not on facebook (anymore) because it didn't feel like a safe space. Sometimes I miss the convenience of it but know that its not a good place for me. My children are all there and I have told them that I cannot keep up with them thruthis venue and that they should tell me by text or phone if there are things I would like to be included in knowing.
    Life is moving fast for this old woman

  17. Thanks cv quilter, SuzanneOrleansOntario thanked for this post

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