Many of you may not know, but I have a pacemaker. It was originally implanted in August of 1968...yes 50 years ago. Of course there have been many battery changes and even a change to a more modern updated version many years ago. I have lived a very normal life, gave birth to two sons, worked a full time job, traveled near and far.....everything everyone else was doing.

Fast forward 50 years seems that all these years of "artificial" pacing has taken a toll on my heart. I really don't know how to explain it, and won't be seeing the surgeon who will explain everything to me and DH until the 21st of this month. But what my Cardiologist said in effect was that I would need surgery to implant a different type of pacemaker and a defibrillator and am currently at risk for heart failure and a very long word that simply means sudden death. Can I just say that scared the heck out of me. So your heart normally beats in sync - right side and left side. My pacemaker is in the right side of my heart which has triggered the beat, which in turn artificially triggered the left side to beat. After 50 years the left side is confused and is now sending out extra beats - which is not a good thing. So they will need to implant a device that goes in both sides of my heart. That's totally my wording - it's much more complicated than that.

I've been walking around numb since my appt this past Tuesday. I haven't told anyone except DH yet....I wanted to get the facts from the surgeon and hopefully get a better undertstanding of what needs to be done and how soon.

Some of you nurses out there will understand this better than I right now. But in any case - I could sure use aome prayers.

We are headed to Richmond in a few hours for a dance weekend and I'm scared to death to get out on that dance floor. The dr said not to stop any of my activities - but man - this is frightening. I wanted to cancel, but thought better of it - it'll help take my mind of this.

Thanks for listening....and also for your thoughts and prayers