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Thread: Sorry

  1. #21
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Thank you for sharing your situation with us, we have been worried about you. DH and I need help from time to time and I've found that most family don't ask what can I do for you but wait for us to tell them what we need. It took my BFF almost 2 years to understand that once I began using a walker to get around I couldn't jump in my car and drive to her house or take her to lunch, etc., not to mention climbing the stairs into her house. Please tell family about your needs, talk to your pastor, contact social services. I know how difficult it is to ask for help but we want you to be in a better place emotionally. Wish I could give you Hugs in person.

  2. #22
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Sandy, I don't know you very well as a board member. But my heart felt broken while reading your post.
    Like all the others here, I wish I lived closer and could do more for you. I realize that you don't want to ask for help. You don't want to feel that you are a burden, but please reach out and ask for help. My thoughts and prayers are with you. I hope your loneliness and desperation eases very soon.
    {{{{{HUGS}}}}}
    Last edited by sew-what2015; October 31st, 2016 at 06:59 PM.

  3. #23
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Sandy you are in my thoughts and prayers. I wish I lived close to help,.. Drop into the forum and chat each day, it helps. I use Amazon Prime to order a lot of my household needs. Look into it please..... Ceana

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  5. #24
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Here we have an outfit called Area Agency on Ageing, that helps elderly and disabled people with rides and other help they might need. You might check with your state to see if there is such.

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  7. #25
    Applique Angel

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Oh Sandy, my heart goes out to you! Although I am not in your exact situation, I can relate to your depression on not being able to do the things I used to. I am 60 and have been disabled for almost 4 years now. I would do most anything to go back to work! I lost so much social contact when I quit working. You don't realize how much of your life involves work relationships until they aren't there anymore! Even though I drive, I feel like I have no place to go! Wish I could drive over to your place! My husband drives over the road so often I'm alone. I know that when I get really depressed I have to reach out to family or just go somewhere! Everyone's advice on this forum is right...... You have to reach out to family or they don't know what's going on or how to help! And.....they do want to help. Sometimes I go to a family members house and spend a couple of nights there......we sew together all day and gossip of course! Is this an option for you? Or maybe have a friend come to your house? Always makes me feel better. You really need some social contact but you need to reach out to make that happen.
    Good luck to you and I will pray and think of you often. Let us know how you are doing

  8. #26
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    So many good suggestions here, but the most important one is to reach out to your family and let them know you need help. And the Area Agency on Aging, too. They want to help you.
    Take care and know that you are in our prayers.

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  10. #27
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: Sorry

    I really can't add much to what has already been, said. When my DH had surgery (and before), I invited the boys and wives over for Sunday dinner. I am still able to get around, but you could order pizzas or something. We explained what was happening, and what kind of help we needed. They immediately set up a calendar for someone to be available to help me with DH. The help was mostly in the late afternoon and evening, but that was fine with me. Maybe if you explain your problem to your family like that, they would be willing to help more. Sometimes I expect mine to know what's wrong without being told.

    Meanwhile, do let your pastor know you need help. I live in a small town, and we have lots of senior services. Call your city office and ask them, or ask your doctor's office. Maybe you have Meals on Wheels. This is not always meant for the really poor. I used to deliver meals in some very nice areas. Those people paid for their meals by the month. We have a new service for seniors which involves transporting them to appointments and shopping. The new service is provided by volunteer drivers with a car instead of buses or vans. They try to match the driver to the patron in interests and area of town. Most become good friends and help each other.

  11. #28
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Oh Sandy - I cried too when I read this. I wish I lived by you, cause I would be so happy to be able to help you lut whenever you needed it. I hope you find a service or maybe church group to help you with this predicament. In the meantime, check in here often and just talk to us - we care about you!

  12. #29
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Sandy as you know, this getting "more mature" is not for sissies. Our health really betrays us. My driving was only suspended temporarily when I had a heart attack but it was awful. I can only imagine how you are feeling. Your eye physician should be familiar with and I think should have referred to community resources for people with low vision. My father in law has macular degeneration and attends the low vision clinic regularly. They have been instrumental in getting him a number of resources to assist in his activities of daily living. He lives in a retirement facility so has his meals and housekeeping provided as part of his fee but they have helped him with equipment to help him still read and a magnifying screen for his computer.

    Please don't isolate your family; they may appear to be busy but may just be insensitive or unaware of how life has changed for you. Let them help you. You deserve to be happy. You are important to all of us here but it is not the same as having contact with real live flesh and blood people. There is no shame in asking for help- think of how much you have given over the years and now it is time for you to let others help you.

    You are in our thoughts and prayers. Please take care and reach out to friends and family.
    Grandma Nan



    Nancy

    "Some of the best memories are created in flip flops"

  13. #30
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Sorry

    Sandy ~ So sorry for the funk you're in & feeling so alone. Depression is real, & it needs to be addressed. Have you talked things over with your doctor? Maybe you need to be on some anti-depressant medication and/or talk with a counselor. Please, please, do not try to travel this road alone! You definitely need help from family, friends, professionals. My DH (73 y.o.) has suffered from depression off & on over the years. He's currently very discouraged with his current health situation. He gave up driving the car 8 yrs. ago -- not because of vision problems, but because of issues with concentration & multi-tasking, which were becoming more difficult for him. He has Parkinson's (& other medical problems) & has declined gradually over recent years. It's very frustrating when you no longer can do the things you used to do. Options I can think of...

    1) Contact your local senior center to learn what resources are available in your area.
    2) Many groc. stores now will deliver groc. to your house. Check into that.
    3) Contact your local church to see if there are volunteers who can help.
    4) By all means, be honest with your family & express your needs for help.
    5) Check into county agencies for the aging to learn what services are available.
    6) Transportation: In our area we have agencies where you can call for rides; cost is nominal.
    7) Support group(s)
    8) Visual aids - are there magnifying glasses, etc. that can help you see better?
    9) Contact the local/county/state agency for the blind. They can come to your house to do an assessment to help you navigate your home better. My mother had macular degeneration. Someone came to her home & gave her many tips to help her be independent in her own living situation. She also listened to books on tapes. The agency provides one with a tape player & books on tape.

    I have been missing your posts on the Forum. I do believe when you work through this, you may be able to quilt again & have a brighter outlook on life. You'll be in my thoughts & prayers. Do keep checking in with us to let us know how you're doing. Sending ((((HUGS!)))). I care!

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