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Thread: Deep Thought #2

  1. #1
    The Guild President

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    Default Deep Thought #2

    So you hear all the time that people who live longer and are happier and more positive have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity. I retired (forced) a little over a year now. I have no desire to do any of those things. I am very happy cleaning, cooking, gardening, listening to music, reading and quilting. I'm a happy and positive person and I do like people. My DH and I enjoy being together when he's not at work.
    I wonder if it's because I was a quiet, introspective kid and am going back to my "normal" self or if I am so burnt out due to working customer service for to many years. Or could it be both?
    Do you take stock in any of the many "findings" that you read in magazines, the newspaper or online?
    Would it bother you to think you wouldn't live a long, happy life if you considered yourself a hermit?




  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    I never took much stock in what I read in magazines or newspapers or online. I take even less stock as the days go on. I'm very happy being alone which is far different than being lonely. I always thought my ideal vacation would be staying home alone with a good book (and of course a good dog) :-)

    Women are Angels.
    When someone
    break's our wings
    we will continue to
    fly...usually on a
    broomstick.
    We're flexible like that.
    - embroitique

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  4. #3
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    Interesting thoughts. I always wonder about that when I read about family and a close support system. I am a home body and am pretty quiet by nature. I enjoy doing things at home. I can happily go home from work Fri night and not go into town again until Mon morning. Having said all that I do think some of those things are very important and have affected my health. We relocated a few years ago to somewhere far away from family and close friends and I can say that loss has affected me even though I am quiet and rather solitary by nature.

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  6. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    Actually, no matter how long I might live, I'm quite happy being mostly a hermit. Always have been.

  7. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    I am a home body but since I became disabled I find I do miss being around people a little bit. Not enough to actually leave my home of course.

    I used to be a voracious reader but I can't read more than a little bit on the computer now. Quilting is keeping me from being bored so I am grateful for that.


    Jeannette

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  9. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    Quote Originally Posted by Carolnnc View Post
    So you hear all the time that people who live longer and are happier and more positive have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity. I retired (forced) a little over a year now. I have no desire to do any of those things. I am very happy cleaning, cooking, gardening, listening to music, reading and quilting. I'm a happy and positive person and I do like people. My DH and I enjoy being together when he's not at work.
    I wonder if it's because I was a quiet, introspective kid and am going back to my "normal" self or if I am so burnt out due to working customer service for to many years. Or could it be both?
    Do you take stock in any of the many "findings" that you read in magazines, the newspaper or online?
    Would it bother you to think you wouldn't live a long, happy life if you considered yourself a hermit?
    Carol, you probably enjoy quiet time at home because you are quiet by nature..........and of course dealing with customer service could make you crave quiet time. I wouldn't take much stock in those "findings" because a few years down the road we will be told those "findings" are different. You know......like eggs are bad for you.........now eggs are good for you........coffee was bad for you.......now coffee is good for you......so on and so on.......

    You sound like a very happy & positive person and happy with your life too. I say.....good for you.
    "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

    Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
    Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

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  11. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    You sound a lot like me.....enjoy just being home, doing your own thing at your own pace. Sounds like you are positive and happy. I think we all have seasons in our lives and a quiet time is not at all bad. I was so tired of running my kids and being busy according to their schedules, so it is nice to have so much me time now. A enjoy the newer, slower pace. Sometimes it is too quiet or I get a little lonely, then I reorganize my days and weeks, and include more time with others. I don't think it wrong to not agree with every little news flash ......they do change their opinions often 180 degrees. Happy means different things to different people.....even at different times of our lives. If you are not breaking any laws or hurting anyone else....and you are happy....go for it and leave the opinions that blow in the wind to do just that.

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  13. #8
    Designer Diva

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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    I am an introvert HSP......I never choose to be with others and avoid it with pleasure.

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  15. #9
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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    Well having just gone through a very painful divorce I can tell you that all the therapists I have had, have indicated that studies do show that having people in your life and social interactions definitely promotes healthy mental well being. My ex was my life and now that he is gone I have very few people in it. I am a home body also, and do enjoy my alone time with a good book etc., but I do find that I am very lonely.

    All the friends I made after he left were through a divorce support group and all are coupled now except for me. I do make an effort to stay in touch but find that it is not often reciprocated...it's hard not to get down over that. It does take a lot of work to create and maintain that social interaction and if you have a spouse to share in the load (finances, housekeeping chores, vacations) it definitely alleviates that loneliness.

    So having had it both ways, I do believe that being social is extremely important to happiness, but certainly dependent upon one's personality as to how much one needs.

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  17. #10
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    Default Re: Deep Thought #2

    @WendyI: Please don't take what I'm about to say as a contradiction to what you've just stated. Your last sentence pretty much says what I'm going to say. And I hope you know that my heart still breaks for what you've just gone through.

    Quote Originally Posted by just4me View Post
    I am an introvert HSP
    @just4m3: Me too!

    In fact, I've often wondered whether or not a majority of people on this forum might be introverts. We tend to be happy sewing in a corner by ourselves. One definition of "introverts" is that we are the folks who recharge by being alone; "extroverts" recharge by being with other people.

    @Carolnnc: To get back to your original question: perhaps extroverts live longer and are happier when they have friends, family ties and are involved in the community and/or religious activity; perhaps introverts don't need that. I find that magazines treat every subject with Pledge: they only brush the surface.

    Let's face it: all that most of us need is fabric!
    Toni ... If I keep sewing long enough, will they make their own dinner?

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