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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default Happy and rough week in one 😧

    I look back and wonder how I made it through this 12 years ago. Our oldest son's birthday is tomorrow and my husband's leaving this earth is on Friday. I wonder how does he feel, how does he think about his birthday and know that the next day is when his dad left this earth. Even though our son is a grown man I feel for him. My husband was only 58 when passed away from Asophogus cancer he didn't smoke or drink but had heartburn probably almost every day. By the time we caught the damage it was stage 3 he had surgery was cancer free for over a 1.5 then without any notice it popped back stage 4 and doctors gave him 6 months God gave us 5 months. He was a truck driver bigger than life woke up every morning with a smile and a whistle lol. The morning he passed was like any other morning we woke up I went over to his bedside (we had Hospice) he was in a hospital bed, leaned over put both my hands on his cheeks gave him a kiss and I said "Good morning my love" , he opened his eyes looked at me and took his last breath. He literally died in my hands me holding his face with that very last kiss that I would have never imagined that it would be our last kiss. I know that he hung on one more day not to leave this earth on his son's birthday that's the kind of man he was familia came first for him. We were high school sweethearts from the moment I saw him I just knew that he was the one. It wasn't an easy marriage he put me through hell and back but I never gave up on our marriage I hope he remembers that. Well sorry for the book but I'm feeling really really awful this week. I'm sure our son feels worse. I'm glad I could write this out.
    Hawaiigrammi

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  3. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    ((((Sandy)))) Hugs to you Sandy. You have every right to have a crappy week. Coming to the forum for virtual hugs and special prayers is good for you.

    My dad died 37 years ago when I was 15. It gets easier but I never forget. I always feel a little sorry for myself that week. I feel like I'm entitled to that.

    Robin
    Robin
    My Pinterest Page of the Quilts I've Made: http://www.pinterest.com/rwmomto3/quilts-ive-made/

  4. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    So sorry to hear of your loss, Sandy. This is a wonderful story, your husband died with your precious words lingering in his ears, what a wonderful way to go!

  5. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    Sending virtual hugs your way, Sandy. How bittersweet for you that he died looking into your eyes, loving words on your lips. How sad that your son did not know his dad. I hope there are sweet memories to share with him on his birthday and always.

  6. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    I'm sorry you're grieving today. I'm sure it's not easy for your son. My mother actually died on my birthday - December 25th. For me, all Christmases/birthdays are now a reminder of her passing. Losing his father at 58 is certainly harder than me losing my mom at 91 but we still miss them no matter what age they died. In a way, it's not so bad for me. Christmas is always a very busy time with lots of happy folks surrounding me to keep my mind off of that sorrowful time. It's also a happy time for me knowing that God has given me another year of life and hopefully more to come. Shortly after my mom died I lost my cousin to esophygeal cancer. His cancer was most certainly related to having been a smoker most of his life. I guess I'm telling you all this to let you know you're not alone. I shed tears now thinking about your loss and mine. All I can say, is try to think about whatever happy times you shared with your husband. You might even ask your son how he feels about it. It might do you both good to talk about it and maybe even cry together about it. How wonderful you were there with him when he took his last breath. I wasn't that fortunate to be with mom when she let go. A number of days by her side until my sis and I needed to go home and get a bit of rest. When we woke up we got the call that mom was gone.
    Last edited by rebeccas-sewing; July 27th, 2016 at 07:10 PM.
    Goodbye Europe! Hello California! Home sweet home.

  7. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    I can't seem to put into words what my heart feels when I read what you wrote and Robin and Jean said what comes from my heart too.
    I am glad you came on here to tell us.
    Sending HUGS
    (didn't mean to leave anyone out - more people posted before I hit my reply button)
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/quiltsbytrish
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    What if you woke up today and the only things you had were the things you thanked God for yesterday? quilting trish

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  9. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    Quote Originally Posted by Mom23 View Post
    ((((Sandy)))) Hugs to you Sandy. You have every right to have a crappy week. Coming to the forum for virtual hugs and special prayers is good for you.

    My dad died 37 years ago when I was 15. It gets easier but I never forget. I always feel a little sorry for myself that week. I feel like I'm entitled to that.

    Robin
    Robin I feel the same way easier but never forgotten and yes kinda feel sorry for myself no one understands they say time to get over it , we had so many plans.
    Hawaiigrammi

  10. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    Quote Originally Posted by Jean Sewing Machine View Post
    So sorry to hear of your loss, Sandy. This is a wonderful story, your husband died with your precious words lingering in his ears, what a wonderful way to go!
    Thanks for that
    Hawaiigrammi

  11. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    Quote Originally Posted by rebeccas-sewing View Post
    I'm sorry you're grieving today. I'm sure it's not easy for your son. My mother actually died on my birthday - December 25th. For me, all Christmases/birthdays are now a reminder of her passing. Losing his father at 58 is certainly harder than me losing my mom at 91 but we still miss them no matter what age they died. In a way, it's not so bad for me. Christmas is always a very busy time with lots of happy folks surrounding me to keep my mind off of that sorrowful time. It's also a happy time for me knowing that God has given me another year of life and hopefully more to come. Shortly after my mom died I lost my cousin to esophygeal cancer. His cancer was most certainly related to having been a smoker most of his life. I guess I'm telling you all this to let you know you're not alone. I shed tears now thinking about your loss and mine. All I can say, is try to think about whatever happy times you shared with your husband. You might even ask your son how he feels about it. It might do you both good to talk about it and maybe even cry together about it. How wonderful you were there with him when he took his last breath. I wasn't that fortunate to be with mom when she let go. A number of days by her side until my sis and I needed to go home and get a bit of rest. When we woke up we got the call that mom was gone.
    Loosing your mom on your birthday is so sad and on Christmas I guess we all have our own stories. I've tried but he closes off and gets very sad.
    Hawaiigrammi

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  13. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    Quote Originally Posted by Midge View Post
    Sending virtual hugs your way, Sandy. How bittersweet for you that he died looking into your eyes, loving words on your lips. How sad that your son did not know his dad. I hope there are sweet memories to share with him on his birthday and always.
    Yes bittersweet but wasn't prepared at all we knew it was eventually coming but never in a million guesses would be that day. And our son grew up with his dad he was our oldest we had 3, 2 boys and a girl
    Hawaiigrammi

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