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  1. #21
    Prairie Pointer

    Join Date
    Apr 2016
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    Havana, Illinois
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I believe I understand how you feel, but maybe it isn't just the amount of fabric that makes you feel bad. I retired 2 years ago and had a lot of trouble with it. I no longer felt useful, productive, or appreciated. I loved my job and (tutoring at our high school) and felt like I was making a difference in kids' lives and when that was gone, I felt a bit empty. Then, I could do or go wherever I wanted and things should have been good, but I felt bad having fun when dear hubby was still working(like yours he won't retire until he absolutely has too). Retirement is an adjustment.

    I suggest you think of making quilts for charity. I have made many many quilts to donate to various organizations. I really like making baby quilts for the crisis pregnancy center. Then, when you look at your lovely stash instead of feeling guilty, you can be thankful that you have the supplies you need to please others and make them smile.
    Lynne in central Illinois

    Jeremiah 29:11

  2. Thanks ediane thanked for this post
  3. #22
    The Guild President

    Join Date
    Aug 2014
    Location
    Blue Ridge, GA
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    765
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    Quote Originally Posted by janbee View Post
    I am in need of some quilting therapy. Last night I was going through my stash and started feeling so guilty because I have a lot of fabric. It is all paid for--no credit cards were used to buy it. I bought it during the time I worked outside the home because I knew my income would be drastically reduced when I retired. I bought several block of the month kits, precuts, yardage, books, patterns, and a lovely sewing machine and serger. I have forgotten even buying some of it. This is my hobby and I love it. I never dreamed that I would feel guilty about having all this lovely fabric. I have been retired for a year and I am not sewing it up nearly as fast as I thought I would. I just do not understand why I have such a heavy heart and feel so guilty. Sewing and quilting has always been my passion. I can totally lose myself in my sewing room. My husband supports me in my hobby. He will not retire unless he has to due to health. There is nothing else I had rather do than go to my sewing room with a cup of coffee and create. Please help me to understand why I feel so guilty.
    You are not alone. I spent 2 hours cutting up all these small pieces of fabric into 4", tumblers, 8" and 10 inch. One inch strips went into to bins for making baskets. I needed to empty a drawer to put in some border fabrics I had bought. I started feeling guilty about every little scrap I threw away. While doing that I showed my husband several yards of fur fabric I had ordered for making stuffed animals for the shelter this Christmas. He looked at me and asked if I had started the quilt for my girlfriend in Italy that I had ordered. I am so sorry I ordered the kit. It has 82 pages of instructions and is all paper-pieced. It depresses me to think about starting it and screwing it up . Aside from that I have all the pieces for a Prairie Flower king, a star quilt to do for Christmas for my son and his wife and the Quilts of Valor and donation quilts on my schedule. And a fundraiser set for next month. We all get that way sometimes.but I feel guilty about housework and my yard work. It gets overwhelming sometimes.
    my goal is to be as good a person as my dogs already think I am

  4. #23
    UN-Biased

    Join Date
    Apr 2016
    Location
    Usa
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    Hmmmm.....I don't think you are experiencing guilt persay. I think when you started accumulating your items, you knew there would be a day when retirement would happen, and so you created a "nest egg" of fabric. Something soft to fall back on if times were leaner. Therefore you could continue with your hobby. So this guilt is probably you realizing how thankful you were to prepare ahead, much like the ant and the grasshopper.

  5. #24
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Oct 2014
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I believe when we accumulate way more than we need, as women we want to feel like we have a purpose and the more tasks you have ahead, the more needed you feel. (And lets face it, after the children leave the house, this becomes a dominate trait, and even more so when we retire.) So your stash is going to allow you many hours of joy in retirement. In a previous post in this thread, I agree with someone calling it a "nest egg" of fabric. We make nest eggs of money and DONT feel guilty about that. As women we are the "gatherers", that is how we were designed. The gathering instinct to feed our family nuts and berries. You are still gathering.

    Birds when gathering materials and making the nests, find bits of yarn to make it pretty. Nothing wrong with having a little bit of pretty for your nest.
    Blogging ahead.....research in quilting and sewing with a dab of cooking/recipes too.

    https://myquiltprojects.wordpress.com/

    https://thecookbookproject.wordpress.com/

  6. #25
    Designer Diva

    Join Date
    Mar 2014
    Location
    Pa
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I have a huge amount of stash from yardage to charms, layercakes and jelly rolls not to mention fat quarters. (before I found pre-cuts). I will probably have to live to be a 100 to use it all up. Have you ever fell in love with a pattern and fabric and then decided to wait a little until you got it. I have then when I went to get it is was gone or only partially available. I be so disappointed because I had my heart set on a particular look. Now when I see something I really like I usually buy it. I hate shopping in malls and don't smoke or drink so I spend my money on my passion FABRIC and am happy as a clam. It is my one true vice . Hopefully when my little niece is a little older she will have everything to start sewing up a storm. Don't feel quilty. Everyone deserves to be happy in what they are doing

  7. #26
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Jan 2016
    Location
    Ohio
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I don't feel guilty so much as overwhelmed sometimes. I don't have a large stash, but I do have a few works in progress and some fabric tucked away for future projects. My problem is that I don't have as much time to sew as I'd like, but when I see a pattern and/or fabric that I really like, or that I think would be perfect for someone, I'll pick it up and put it away for when I do have time...IF it's on sale or at a good price. And then, there are the tools of the trade. Part of why I stopped taking classes at my LQS is because there was always the "perfect" tool or product for the project, and I felt like I needed to have it, even if I didn't use it again. That's how it used to be, anyway. Then, a little over a year ago my husband was downsized at his job and our lifestyle changed drastically. Now, most of what I buy is to finish up something I've started with something in my stash, and I'm making a more conscious effort to work on those UFO's and use what I have on hand. I still buy a few things just because I like it, but I make something from the fabric rather than holding onto it. I say that I get overwhelmed because I have so many "someday" projects that I don't know where to start sometimes. So, I'm starting with the UFO's, then birthday/Christmas gifts, then "just because." And I'm enjoying it more because I'm doing something. Like Jenny says, "Finished is better than perfect." I say, "Using my stash is better than collecting more!" But I'm glad for my stash, because I still have fabric on hand to enjoy my hobby. I hope that makes sense - I feel like I'm kind of rambling.

  8. #27
    9 Patch Princess

    Join Date
    Jun 2013
    Location
    North-Central Oklahoma, Enid
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    When you hold your fabric, refold and caress it, does it make your heart beat faster? do you smile and talk to it in kind tones? Do you enjoy wondering what it would look like made up? that my dear, is being good to yourself....and sounds to me that you deserve it. remember, some people spend more and get less enjoyment.......You have prepared for this part of your life. Relax and stop feeling undeserving! If I did it, you can, too.... appreciate the beauty!

  9. #28
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Sep 2013
    Location
    In the middle of nowhere, Virginia
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    1,153
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I believe when we work our focus is on the job and on the ones we serve. We have little time for ourselves and we continually give forward. Retirement is a transition to reserving some time and attention for our personal enjoyment. You acquired your stash in a responsible way. Let yourself relax and enjoy the wonderful feeling of creating without guilt. You have a great assortment of tools to work with, use them to express yourself and your energy in new ways. You have worked hard and deserve this special time.
    Connie

    Our lives are like quilts – bits and pieces, joy and sorrow, stitched with love.

  10. #29
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Jun 2011
    Location
    Pelham, Alabama
    Posts
    4,993
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I know when I first retired I felt a lot of guilt, I was off having fun and my coworkers were still at the old grind. I did get over it pretty soon.
    Enjoy your retirement guilt free, you earned it.

  11. #30
    Applique Angel

    Join Date
    Aug 2015
    Location
    Maine and Florida
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    Default Re: Are there any quilting therapists out there?

    I retired about a year ago at the end of the school year. We had a lot of changes very quickly-selling our house and moving after closing out my classroom full of stuff! I, too, have a pretty full stash. I haven't finished as much as I thought I would during retirement despite being a part of a few sewing groups. I seem to be stuck in the same mode of starting things (not seeing things to completion) as I was when I was working. So, I am trying to work on that. I still buy some fabric (and some yarn) but I am really trying not to buy any more patterns for the time being.
    I think I didn't appreciate before that there is an adjustment part of retiring. I'm glad that you are feeling better. Enjoy your fabric!

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