Courtesy and understanding

[Cat n bull]

Just a thought....


When a forum member specifically mentions that they have a disorder that makes things challenging for them, maybe a little education on the disorder would be very helpful for others to have a better understanding of how that person struggles?

What is Asperger Syndrome?

Note in particular the serious difficulty in communication.

[RiverMomm]

Thanks so much for this post. At times, we are all in of need of a little more understanding and compassion.

Here is another link: Autism spectrum - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Please notice that one of the main characteristics is "persistent deficits in social communication and interaction across multiple contexts, as well as restricted, repetitive patterns of behavior, interests, or activities"

[Cat n bull]

One vital thing I have learned from my Aspie friend, is that there is very little gray area in communication; and online, with NO physical cues or context, is exceedingly difficult.

To have one's comment be SO misunderstood, misinterpreted, and have a value completely unrelated to the original intent applied, is simply OVERWHELMING to deal with.

This is where benefit of the doubt, and social graces, simple courtesy and human decency, of those WITHOUT a disorder, is so important.

For those that have the luxury of choice, in how they communicate and interpret the language of others, (written, verbal, physical language), choosing to be negative, condescending, nasty, and mean spirited, is a true reflection of their character.

[Peggi]

As the mom of a 20 year old son with Asperger's, I have an opinion about what happened.

I agree, there can be difficulties with communication. But if my son had posted that comment, then read the responses to it, he immediately would have apologized for the confusion and upset feelings his post had caused, and he would have clarified his statement and intent. He would NOT have started calling people horrid names and telling them to have a "miserable and short life".
After that first singular post, there were 2 new even more deeply offending threads opened, which contributed nothing to our community, and accomplished nothing but to stir the pot and cause even more vitriol.

THAT behavior absolutely cannot and should not be attributed to Asperger's.

[bkthomas]

I can attest to the pain that person was feeling......................

[kensington]

As the mom of a 20 year old son with Asperger's, I have an opinion about what happened.

I agree, there can be difficulties with communication. But if my son had posted that comment, then read the responses to it, he immediately would have apologized for the confusion and upset feelings his post had caused, and he would have clarified his statement and intent. He would NOT have started calling people horrid names and telling them to have a "miserable and short life".
After that first singular post, there were 2 new even more deeply offending threads opened, which contributed nothing to our community, and accomplished nothing but to stir the pot and cause even more vitriol.

THAT behavior absolutely cannot and should not be attributed to Asperger's.

Thank you very much. She was typing on a key board. How can you not control that? I don't think this needed to be rehashed, but if it is to be, I appreciate someone who is experienced in that area making a sound and balanced statement on the situation, like yourself.

[shirleyknot]

There are DEGREES of Aspergers, leading right into autism. Milder forms have more control of themselves. And control, for most, isn't automatic, but must be taught. When the affliction isn't understood, they don't get that teaching. And its obvious a lot of people don't understand.

[Deegles]

My mate is so OCD and sometimes I wonder if he is just particular and/or may have a touched with this. (or I may be touched with the opposite). Very intelligent on that note, and very anti-social. I feel special because he has allowed me to be close.

[Cat n bull]

THAT behavior absolutely cannot and should not be attributed to Asperger's.

Yes, it absolutely CAN be attributed to Aspergers.

You son is ONE individual, with his own unique set of challenges and strengths.

You can not assume that EVERY individual with Aspergers has exactly the same set of symptoms, struggles, or strenghts.

And regardless of your son's ability, this is about a collective group of ADULT women and men, many with NO disorder whatsover, taking a moment to undersatnd that some people have very real difficulties.

To come back and STILL! continue to attack, blame, criticise and be neagtive against one particular individual is WRONG.

[Cat n bull]

Thank you very much. She was typing on a key board. How can you not control that? I don't think this needed to be rehashed, but if it is to be, I appreciate someone who is experienced in that area making a sound and balanced statement on the situation, like yourself.

No, this situation does not need to be rehashed. What NEEDS to be done is all the grown ups, and ESPECIALLY the ones that do not have a mental disorder, need to step back and STOP looking for ANY excuse to justify their ill behavior. Did you not also CHOOSE to type nasty comments? Look for and go through the trouble to post condescending pictures that could only serve to inflame the other member even more? If she was so capable of controlling her posts, even though she told everyone she has ASD, what is your excuse for your lack of control?