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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default Thoughts on Negativity

    I was just reading a thread about the tutorial Four Patch Frenzy and all the negative comments on the M* Facebook page. I didn't see it, but it confirms some research I saw that negative comments lead to more negative comments. If the negative comments are deleted or suppressed and a positive one remains, more positive comments are posted. In other words, the crowd follows the lead.

    Yesterday I watched the free Craftsy class on Creative Quilt backs with Elizabeth Hartman. She does an outstanding job showing all the math and careful planning she uses for making very interesting quilt backs. So many of the class comments were negative, snarky, and rude. I kept thinking, "Then stop watching!" I don't understand why people have to comment that the class is boring or that the math is unnecessary. One said, "Why not just wing it?" There was no point in responding, "Go ahead and wing it, but that isn't what this class is about! This is for people who don't want to wing it." Furthermore, there were plenty of comments on her doing it "wrong" because she pressed her seams open. Quilt police everywhere!

    I am saying all this to say THANK YOU! Thanks for keeping this forum a safe and friendly place. Thanks for lifting us up, supporting us in every endeavor. Thanks for reminding us that it is our quilt and we can do it as we want. Thanks for responding to questions, little or big, with helpful advice and encouragement. Thanks for being the place we can come for inspiration and a good laugh when we need it.
    ~Louise

    What do we live for, if it is not to make life less difficult for each other?
    George Eliot

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    I have also found that negativity makes for more negativity like wildfire. positive also breeds positive but not as fast as the negative for some reason. I often wonder are people so unhappy they are that quick to gang up and bad mouth people/things/ideas. as opposed to good is just well its good.
    Iris Girl = April = fabric, Fabric FABRIC!!
    Time spent with cats is never wasted.
    Sigmund Freud

  3. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    I don't think we are entirely free of negative comments here, things are a matter of perspective. I don't see a lot of negative comments regarding quilting habits, but I often see broad sweeping comments about generational differences that leave me disappointed.

    Overwhelmingly people are supportive and stand up for one another here, so I keep returning. There are also some jokesters who always find a way of lightening the mood!!

  4. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    Louise, thanks for taking the time to appreciate all that we have on this forum.

    This is like a virtual family for me and reminds me every day how much we can lift each other up in times of stress and in times of gladness.

  5. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    There will always be negativity its a fact of life but I truly like how this forum does a better job then most to keep it in check. And its why most people thrive here because happiness also spreads when shared.
    Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.

  6. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    Sometimes negativity is just being honest.............

  7. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    Quote Originally Posted by shirleyknot View Post
    Sometimes negativity is just being honest.............
    sometimes somethings are better left unsaid , if you can only say something negative.
    Iris Girl = April = fabric, Fabric FABRIC!!
    Time spent with cats is never wasted.
    Sigmund Freud

  8. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    Quote Originally Posted by shirleyknot View Post
    Sometimes negativity is just being honest.............
    While negativity might be being honest there are ways to word things without being hurtful or like April said , you just move on.

    This forum has had its days, but for the most part has been upbeat for quite a while now. I know it is a much better place to hang out when it is.
    K is for Karen .....................Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.

    Before you speak,
    T - is it TRUE?
    H - is it HELPFUL?
    I - is it INSPIRING?
    N - is it NECESSARY?
    K - is it KIND?


    Check my User Notes.

  9. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    And sometimes constructive criticism leads to better things. I'd hate to think where this world would be without it. But you can go ahead and wear that shade of purple that makes your face look like the aftermath of a bad beating, and I'll just tell you how pretty it is.

  10. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Thoughts on Negativity

    Quote Originally Posted by shirleyknot View Post
    And sometimes constructive criticism leads to better things. I'd hate to think where this world would be without it. But you can go ahead and wear that shade of purple that makes your face look like the aftermath of a bad beating, and I'll just tell you how pretty it is.
    "Hey Ethel. Is that a new blouse? The style of neckline looks good on you. Does it come in other colors? Oh, I bet the sapphire blue would set off your pretty brown eyes and your skin tone much better than this amethyst color.
    Did you hear about boB & Sandy? I know, who would have guessed that they were really related ...."

    "Dang Ethel! Where DID you get that top? It makes you look like a three day old bruise. You need to pick better colors.
    Did you hear ...."

    Same idea, two very different approaches.

    As for the classes & tutorials: We all have to learn somewhere. People learn different ways and have different comfort levels with the creative process. I imagine the math in quilting gives comfort to some folks, while it gives others of us an itchy rash. If we can both turn out products that make us happy, who cares how we got to the finish line? We certainly won't all like the same colors, patterns, or styles, but we can appreciate and respect the effort that went into the project.

    I'm eternally greatful for the folks I have met here and the hints, techniques, and tips I have found using this forum. As for me, I try to keep it on the lighter side. I find that if I do, it's easier for people to join me there, than for them to drag me into their gloom.
    Be who you are and say what you feel
    because those who mind don't matter,
    and those who matter don't mind. - Dr. Seuss

    http://www.toggpine.wordpress.com

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