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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default If the holidays are not your "thing"

    We have been reading so many lovely posts about Christmas gifts being made for special people. This message is for those who have family members who make it difficult for us to keep in the holiday spirit. I am one of those people. Without going into a lot of detail, my sister and I were raised by a mother who was undiagnosed mentally ill. Our memories of holidays and special events are all negative. If anyone else on this forum has a similar problem, I want you to know that you are not alone. Celebrate the holiday as best you can, and try not to focus on the negative memories. Hopefully, you will have another family member, or a good friend, who will support you when you are having flashbacks of difficult times. If you do not, please contact me via PM, and I will do my best to help you deal with the season.

    I am having a particularly hard time right now, as I am dealing with the Christmas season and my daughter's wedding in January. Both the holiday and my own wedding were harshly and negatively affective by my mother. So, as I try to provide a happy holiday experience for my family, and a wonderful wedding experience for my daughter, I am fighting the demons of my experiences. I am an atheist, and so prayers are not a comfort to me. But I do believe in the energy of the universe.

    I wish for all the best possible experiences and understandings of what life delivers to us. May your holidays be happy, and may your family be loving and supportive.
    If you are not willing to learn, no one can help you. If you are determined to learn, no one can stop you.- Zig Ziglar

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  3. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    (((((Sylvia))))) What a courageous post! I rely heavily upon my faith, but I respect your beliefs too. I am sure there are others who will take courage and comfort that they are not alone from your thread. Please feel my cyber hug of love and friendship, and allow me to pray for you in my own faith, and ways. I truly hope all goes well for both the holidays, and the wedding, and that you can sever the demons from your past from extending to any further generations. Bless you dear. With Loving, kindness.....Miss Sheri
    Miss Sheri

    For me, it's all about Love, . . . Always!

  4. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Good for you, Sylvia, for turning the negative into positives.
    We had a Christmas here a few years ago where the siblings got into 'it'. They have a hard time forgiving each other for things that happened in the past. We try to have a wonderful holiday - but the tension is sometimes still there. And, yes, we are religious so do try to keep the Reason for the Season and even though do some gift giving, we are not prone to have to get gifts or go overboard. I think that's just selfish anyways to want, want, want.
    I hope you find peace during this time of year, Sylvia and I will keep you in my heart.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/quiltsbytrish
    http://quiltdreaming.blogspot.com
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    What if you woke up today and the only things you had were the things you thanked God for yesterday? quilting trish

  5. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Sylvia, for reasons different than yours, the holidays just aren't for me this year. That's the main reason we agreed to a work trip overseas for my husband -- basically, we are running away from the holidays, to Taiwan. How much Christmas can they possibly have in Taiwan? Bereaved people & the holidays just don't mix. Sometimes I think the next person who wishes me happy holidays or to enjoy our trip is going to get an earful. They mean well, but they're just not getting it.

    A friend who is in a similar situation to mine said some joy is seeping back for her this year. I hope that will happen for me some day, and for you.

  6. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    I think the holidays magnify things both good and negative. I feel for those of you who have painful memories that come to the forefront during this season of joy and goodwill. My prayers are with you...please know that I care.

  7. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Sylvia, turning negatives into positives is no easy task, and I say this from experiences during childhood, teens and as a young adult. I think it indicates a strong personal will/decision to overcome those early demons and choose to lead a more positive life. I do have very deep personal convictions, but totally understand your views and convictions as well. I sincerely hope your Holidays and the wedding are tremendously rewarding and fulfilling for you and yours. I greatly admire your honesty and strength for sharing this with us all, and am sending you my warmest thoughts and hugs, may you also experience what you have wished for us all. Peace, comfort, love, support and happiness.
    What do you mean I'm easily distracted..........HEY LOOK......FABRIC!!!!

  8. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Empathy and understanding - for oh, so many reasons.

    Just returned from visitation as a dear cousin has lost his wife, only to learn that another cousin passed just this afternoon. Too close to the heart.

    There is no Joy in Mudville - though I try.
    Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
    it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

    "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

  9. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy Navas View Post
    Empathy and understanding - for oh, so many reasons.

    Just returned from visitation as a dear cousin has lost his wife, only to learn that another cousin passed just this afternoon. Too close to the heart.

    There is no Joy in Mudville - though I try.
    Oh Sandy, I'm sorry.

  10. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Sandy - so sorry to hear about your losses. Hugs to you.
    http://www.flickr.com/photos/quiltsbytrish
    http://quiltdreaming.blogspot.com
    http://pinterest.com/TrishLapp


    What if you woke up today and the only things you had were the things you thanked God for yesterday? quilting trish

  11. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: If the holidays are not your "thing"

    Thank you, Sylvia. I needed to hear that.
    Courtesy is not optional.

    http://theeclecticabuela.blogspot.com

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