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  1. #1
    The Guild President

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    Default Can I whine just a little?

    For the first time in all my 50 (some) years on this earth I'll be alone at Christmas. Well not exactly alone, I'll have my two quilt inspector fur babies with me, but no other people in the house. Christmas has always been a big deal in my family. At one point in time, there were 17 people around Nana's Dinner table.

    I'm grateful my BIL's cancer treatments were a success and the doctor released him 'back to the wild' or at least back to his regular life. He was diagnosed with Lymphoma back in July, and began treatments in August. Hubby went to Atlanta to help him move up to their parents' home in New York so he'd have some support while undergoing the treatments. Hubby promised to help him make it a round-trip. SO now that's he's done and the port comes out on Thursday, he's he**bent on being in his own home for Christmas. Great for him. Hubby now has a plane ticket to go help him get his life back on track, leaving on Tuesday (a week from today) and returning on Sunday. I'm happy they'll be spending Christmas together. It's my gift to both of them. Yes, I could have gone with, but we'd have had to drive which would leave precious little time for the two of them together.

    Our son decided he'd rather spend his precious leave time from the Army with his Girlfriend and her daughter rather than them coming here as he had originally planned, and I was counting on. I raised the brat (my son) to be a loving, independent man, and dang it, he turned out that way. I'm grateful for this too.

    I'm clear, I could go spend the holiday with my son and his 'family' or my parents, but either of them are 2 day drive each way, and frankly I've traveled enough this year to bust our already strained budget. I don't fly, and even train tickets are out of reach. I'm also clear I don't want to spend 4 days on the road to have 2 days of family time where I'll be exhausted and cranky (because those two things go together most of the time).

    I'm sad and disappointed that Christmas day will be quiet and lonely. So rather than having a house full, it's going to be rather empty. Once I get done whining and wallowing, I suppose I'll have to put on my big girl panties and make the best of it. I never imagined being alone on Christmas. What will I do?

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    I'm sorry you will be alone for Christmas. Your husband is doing a wonderful thing for his brother...a gift like no other. If you get lonely you can pop into the forum...there's always someone here to talk to, even on holidays. I hope you get a lot of Christmas phone calls. (((HUGS)))

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  4. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    Kathy, I am so sorry to hear you will be alone - big hugs. Wished you lived closer - you could help me make sure that the big bird is fully cooked and help me drink some egg nog. Here's a hug for you - small compensation -


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    Sewing mends the soul.



    Do the math; count your blessings
    Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

    http://pinterest.com/vintageprims/boards/ Unless we are creating we are not fully alive
    ~ Madeleine L'Engle


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  6. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    Yes, this will be hard, Cathy, but you seem to be on the right track trying to analyze your situation. Having faced similar challenges when I was first single again I do have a couple of thing for you to consider. Please try to focus on the meaning of the season to all your family members. They are loving and giving people, so you have much to rejoice in. And when your hubby returns you can reschedule your celebration as a couple. Your son is forging his own adult life successfully, and some parents never get to see that. Patience is needed here. You see, you already have gifts to be thankful for. Is there a way to give back this year? Many organizations need Christmas volunteers. I found that helpful. Just a few thoughts, and I hope it helps. bTW, I don't think it's whining to be sad about this. Just a sign you are entering a different phase of life. Hope this helps.

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  8. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    It's hard to spend Christmas alone, when the tradition is to spend the time with family. Last year, my family all came home the weekend before Christmas, so Christmas Day was spent alone. So, I went to the movies to see one of the big movies released that day. So many good flicks are being released Christmas Day this year, we are going to try to work in a movie session some time during the weekend. Perhaps this could be something you could try during Christmas Day to avert your mind from the loneliness.

    Have a wonderful quiet holiday!

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  10. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    So sorry to hear you'll be alone :* hugs from my heart!
    But you do have a lovely and caring family and all of this is happening because they're caring for each other.
    Take some time to rest, take care of you, treat you well! Like for example... make some delicious hot cocoa! Bake cookies for you to have a delicious breakfast!
    More hugs

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  12. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    Sorry you will be alone. Here is a hug for you!
    Shirley

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  14. #8
    Applique Angel

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    Alone can be a good way to be on Christmas. Don't think of it as alone, think of it as "on your own". You can get up when you want, eat what you want, tv and radio are full of holiday specials and music, and your time is your own for once.

    Remember alone is also a choice. No matter where you are, rural area or near a city, there are nursing homes and hospitals full of people who will not get a visit that day unless YOU go. You've got a week left and you sew. Pick up some fleece, it's on sale everywhere right now, and go to Moda bakeshop and look up "comfort wrap". I use fleece instead of quilting cotton and they are wonderful, soft and warm and welcomed by all. I use what I cut off the bottom to add pockets ( for a tissue or cold hands). Quick and easy too. Take 6-8inches off the width and length to size down for most folks. The original size is huge and a bit awkward. Otherwise look around the house and grab up some of the decorative things you're not using, and make up some small fake pine with an ornament type decoration and take them with you. It might be an ice breaker and easier for most of us than going empty handed. You'll find a lot of bare rooms that only you can brighten. Cookies will work too, a couple in a baggy with a bow.

    In almost every area, some church will have a service. Doesn't matter if it's yours, there will be people there celebrating the same thing you are if you are Christian. The things that unite us are greater that those that divide us if we allow them to be.

    It's a perfect day to give thanks for all those Americans throughout the world who are alone or far from home on this day. Many of us have been there, done that and CHOSE to make it special.

    Long post and I may sound too harsh for you, if so I 'm sorry. Whining is good, get it out of your system. Think of it as a opportunity and you may find you can make a special memory that day. Best wishes, and Merry Christmas.

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  16. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    Plan some activities at home or out in the community so while you are alone on Christmas you aren't lonely.

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  18. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Can I whine just a little?

    (((Kathy))),

    We're sorry to hear that you'll be alone with the fluff this Christmas. It's been a rough year for your family and yourself, wish I could give you a big hug in person.

    You're doing a great thing for your husband and his brother, not every wife would do this you know. It shows you have a wonderful heart.

    A movie sounds real good, maybe at one of those Movie & Dine theaters, a treat for yourself. We're making that a new family tradition for Xmas dinner as we will have Xmas Eve and Morning with extended family.

    Or heck, put on Pandora, make your own Christmas station with Old, Modern Pop, Classical, whatever floats your boat Christmas tunes - grab a good book or a new 1000 puzzle and enjoy the day with 3: Me, Myself and I. I'm getting good at that with Don being gone three weeks at a time. lol

    Know that you are loved by many, your family, friends and your Cyber Friends!

    Happy Holidays, Ruby, Don, Kat, Matt, Zander, Oliver, Miss Penelope and our newly rescued fur baby Chloe

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    Visit my fabric shopping cart YardageALaCarte.com - PM me for a 25% Off your Total Purchase Code, just mention "The Forum" in your message. Huggers, Ruby

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