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Thread: soo upset

  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default soo upset

    We spent the 4th of July and that weekend in Al with DS and new GF. Everything went well and I liked the new GF even though she was kinda loud and has troubled adult kids. They have been together maybe 3 months and she moved in his house, per his request, about 3 weeks ago.
    Yesterday I went on facebook and a post by her popped up, "Got engaged to Brian". I about lost it, and texted my son who was on his way to work at the time and asked if they were engaged. His response was " What the-- NO"
    He works into the wee hours and sleeps late, so I'm sure he is still asleep now and hasn't talked to her except by text last night.
    I am so upset. He just got divorced about a year ago, and although he likes being married, he also likes living alone. He lives waaay out and has few neighbors and loves it there.
    I don't want to be a meddlesome mom, but what do I do or say. Not sure he would listen to me anyway. By the way he is 39 years old, old enough to know better. I'm afraid she is after something, but I don't know what.
    I tried sewing this morning and had to rip everything I did. Cut one piece wrong, sewed right side to wrong side-- you get the picture.
    Just needed to vent a little. Hope to hear more from him today.
    Dolores

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: soo upset

    yuck... praying for your sanity Dolores

  3. #3
    Designer Diva

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    Default Re: soo upset

    I know this is hard for you. One of the hardest roles for a parent is that of an in-law. In this case, I wouldn't say another word. Let him handle it. In this case, "not your circus, not your monkeys". I had a daughter-in-law that was absolutely horrid. Finally, my son had enough and they divorced. Now I have a very nice DL. Don't know if you are a Christian or not but a scripture that is very comforting for me is I Peter 5:7. " Casting the whole of your care, all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully."

  4. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: soo upset

    So hard to stay out of the kid's business but a must do. Try to realize you raised him to have good sense and let him exercise it. He will take care of it when he wakes up.

  5. #5
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: soo upset

    Quote Originally Posted by janbee View Post
    I know this is hard for you. One of the hardest roles for a parent is that of an in-law. In this case, I wouldn't say another word. Let him handle it. In this case, "not your circus, not your monkeys". I had a daughter-in-law that was absolutely horrid. Finally, my son had enough and they divorced. Now I have a very nice DL. Don't know if you are a Christian or not but a scripture that is very comforting for me is I Peter 5:7. " Casting the whole of your care, all your anxieties, all your worries, all your concerns, once and for all on Him, for He cares for you affectionately and cares about you watchfully."
    I having nothing else to add to the bolded except pause, take a deep breath and pray!!

  6. #6
    The Guild President

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    Default Re: soo upset

    One of the hardest things we parents have to do is watch while our kids make their own mistakes. This must really be hard. But, staying out of it is really the best thing you can do. You probably know that. I hope he makes the right choices, but whatever happens, as someone said above...it's his circus.

  7. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: soo upset

    I don't plan to interfere except to tell him my feelings. Then he is on his own to make his own decisions. I had to sit back for 5 years and watch the ex wife destroy him. I pray he learned a lot from his last marriage, but I will always be there to pick up the pieces when needed.
    I just needed to vent, and what better place than among my friends. Thanks!!
    Dolores

  8. #8
    Prairie Pointer

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    Default Re: soo upset

    Sounds she may be fake or wishful thinking.Hopefully he will see through her before he ties the knot.Pray for God to show him what he needs to do.Kids usually don't want to hear what we think. My daughters never would listen to me or ask my opinion.They seem to learn the hard way.Our job was to raise them to do right so we have to let them go sometime.We can't fix everything.

  9. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: soo upset

    I soooo feel your pain. I have four adult sons, ages 32, 31, 30 & 28. I have gotten to the point of actually worrying about one or more of them at different times that I have made myself mentally, emotionally & physically sick. There's a saying "Let go & let God." I "tried" that more times than I can count. But I FINALLY was able to let it go. I could be the MIL from H*LL and try to interfere and push my opinions on them, but what's the point. They may listen, they probably won't. Each one has made their own mistakes, some much bigger than others. They are grown, they are adults and we as parents aren't there to fix/solve every problem or situation they have. I have one DIL who has totally turned one of my sons against me & DH and one of his brothers & his wife. She is a spoiled brat, only child who has always gotten her way and it's always "her way or the highway" and she's always "right" and no one else can have an opinion. They have been married almost 9 yrs. My biggest loss is my son & 8 yr old grandson. But I did not choose to marry her. I do not have to love her or even like her, he does. That being said, there is absolutely nothing you can do but stand back and let the chips fall where they may. Keep your heart & your door open for your son, but not at the expense of your health or your happiness. It's HARD, you will still worry....but that's what mom's do. Keeping you in my prayers.

  10. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: soo upset

    He needs to comment on her Facebook post and ask. "Brian who?"

    Seriously why are people like that?

    I feel for you Doloris. I send good thoughts your way.

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