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  1. #51
    Missouri Star

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    Mar 2012
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    Hudson Valley
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    I usually try not to deviate from quilting stuff, but this is heartbreaking...

    DO NOT DEVIATE from your course, Mama!

    It may me a couple of years, but he will thank you in the end, and have such RESPECT!!

    My BEST, Roxy!
    I really need to get off the exclamation point.
    It may give people the idea that I'm bright and cheerful all the time....

  2. #52
    Missouri Star

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    Feb 2012
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    Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    Roxy, not much for me to add that the others haven't told you...just know we are here for you...you are definitely going through some really tough times right now...I am praying for you...sending hugs and blessings....
    Carol

    Sewing Mends The Soul ~ Author Unknown

  3. #53
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2011
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    Central coast of California
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    What I have seen over the years with parents and kids is a very unfulfilling and painful "loop" of behavior is created. So, no change. But when one decides to change course, this is when the other person can change and also break out of the loop. You are now giving him the opportunity to change. Stay strong, mom. Bailing him out won't change him but maybe sitting a bit in jail might.
    Success is liking yourself, liking what you do, and liking how you do it.
    Maya Angelou

    ~Megan~

  4. #54
    The Guild President

    Join Date
    Feb 2013
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    outside of Washington DC...
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    If he is old enough to be married and to hit his wife(god would need to protect him in my house), he is old enough to suffer the consequences. He needs to learn that he is responsible for his actions, not you and your pocket book.

    My oldest gave us some grief and he told me that there was nothing I could have done to change it. It was up to him to make the change. And he was raised right yada yada yada. He said he needed to grow up on his own and see what was wrong. HE is now in the Navy, leader of the jazz band, and a great dad and hubby.

    Hang in there and keep your chin up. You did the right thing!
    Home is where your mother is..........

  5. #55
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Apr 2012
    Location
    Kearns, Utah
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    Just gonna jump in here and say that no one "hit" anyone

    .....and in case you are wondering, "What does she know?" Hawaii Roxy is my sis - Many of you know that,but not everyone......
    Last edited by bkthomas; June 20th, 2014 at 08:10 PM.
    ~Kathy~

  6. #56
    The Guild President

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    Nov 2012
    Location
    Honolulu HI
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    UPDATE...... They released him on a signature bond no nobody "hit" anybody but thats not really the point they were fussin she pushed him and he pushed her back he got arrested. It sounds harsh but I dont care I love him very much but I took EVERYBODYS advice and do NOTHING. He makes me old and tired, again I love him but Im tired of him and his drama hes always the poor "victim " There were so many variables in this situation .his brother told him to stay and hang out an not go looking for her but he didnt listen.
    So anywayyyyy blah Im over it I love you guys thanks so much for all your encouragement

  7. Thanks Slokarma thanked for this post
  8. #57
    Missouri Star

    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    The South Carolina countryside
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    Well, good for you Roxie! You have no control over his actions, only your own and you did good!!! Sometimes the best thing we can do for our grown kids is nothing at all. Just sit back and let them suffer the consequences of their actions. Easy to say, not always easy to do, but I give you so much credit for being strong and doing what needed to be done. Hugs!!!
    Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

    Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!

  9. #58
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2012
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    Kauai
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    Hugs Roxy I only got back online this morning, so just seeing this. I'm tired of my kids right now too. My stepson called because he got caught picking up cocain at a post office. He was staked out. Since I was the one that answered the phone I agreed to the bail. Then my dh shifted all the responsibility to me to talk to the lawyers. My son wrote me all these heartfelt letters from jail (min security) on how much he loved me and for helping him. Five years and when he get's out he never calls.

    All this work raising kids and what do you get for it?



    Lorie

  10. #59
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2011
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    Danville Virginia
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    Default Re: Im a failure as a parent

    Some kids grow up the hard way, and no one is to blame but themselves for their decisions. It is difficult to watch as a parent, grandparent or anyone else that cares. Most of them eventually turn out OK and the values that they were raised with over rule their foolishness. Love them, pray for them, BUT take care of yourself and don't become their doormat.

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