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  1. #1
    Quilting Royalty

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    Default I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    Almost 2 years ago I moved away from family & friends for the first time...a long way away. When I started quilting I was so excited to make things and send gifts back home to the people I'm missing so much. (quilts, table toppers & runners, wall hangings) Many of the recipients, mostly family, have never acknowledged getting these gifts. I didn't make these things thinking of the calls or notes of thanks I'd get. It's just when no mention is made at all I start to feel very stupid for sending something I thought was great & maybe they think is worthless. Would a phone call or even a note on Facebook saying, "it's here" be too much trouble? Would you stop sending gifts to those who don't even acknowledge getting it in the mail? Does their silence mean they don't want my quilts/decorations in their houses?

    It's possible I'm just being insecure but I thought maybe I'm not alone & someone else would have something to say about this.

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    I understand your feelings, and have had similar things happen myself. It is disappointing and actually it is rude. A quick thank you, whether a phone call or a note on Facebook or email is absolutely appropriate and doesn't take long. I know everyone is beyond busy these days, but it doesn't excuse bad manners. I think the fact that we're so proud of our work makes us that much more anxious to know that the recipient hopefully liked it, but at the very least to know that it arrived!

    Terri

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  4. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    You're not alone. This generation has not been taught the social skills of writing thank you notes. I get frustrated when I send money to my grand kids for Christmas or birthdays, & I rarely, if ever, get a thank you. I made 2 beautiful baby quilts for a gal (not family) who was having twin girls. I also made burp cloths, flannel blankets & included a sleeper for each baby. I never got a thank you from this woman! I think most people have no appreciation or understanding of all the hard work that goes into making a quilt, a table runner, etc. I wouldn't send your family another cotton-pickin' thing! You're not insincere, but you definitely are not appreciated. Unfortunately, it seems to be that way most places these days. Even my gr. dau. didn't acknowledge the books I sent her Husb. for Christmas. I finally asked if they ever arrived. "Oh, yes, they're came. I already wrapped them & put them under the tree." Duh, well it would have been nice if she e-m'd me when they arv'd. I get very frustrated about these things. So, you're not alone. JCY

  5. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    If I sent a gift and did not receive an acknowledgement of some sort, I would contact them and ask directly if they recieved it and if they did, ask why they chose to not let you know. Then, I would never send them another thing, unless there was a valid reason of course.

    I have always been adamant with my girls to send a thank you, whether it is a phone call, email, text, card in the mail, it needs to be acknowledged. And if its money I encourage them to share what they used the money for or what they are saving for, although I did not push that part, a thank you is sufficient.

    Sorry, but I have a strong opinion about this. No, I do not give to receive, but I want to know my gift was received even if they hated it.
    Karen
    Life is short - live it up while you can

  6. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Jan 2012
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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    I feel your pain! I made baby quilts for three moms whose kids were born all around the same time. When the kids were 5, one of the moms brought her kid to my house at Halloween and said to her kid, "This is the lady who made your favorite blankie!" At least I found out he liked the quilt, even if it took 5 years to find out.

    I decided not to give quilts as gifts for that very reason. Perhaps you think it's great, but the recipient isn't that thrilled with it, either the style or color, or they just don't appreciate quilts. So, I am not making them a quilt. I'll keep them before I give one away to someone who can't at least say thank you.

  7. #6
    The Guild President

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    Mar 2011
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    Richmond, Virginia
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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    Yes, they should have at least said a simple thank you! I don't feel even FB is enough, but thats me. I have experienced this too...we want to share, but not everyone feels the same. I am much more hesitant to just give one to anyone these days. Only if they have expressed that they love or like quilts. I have had one used as a quilt they told me they keep in the trunk of their car....I don't even ask where it is now, too painful to know. I would ask if you are prepared for a crazy answer. In this world where people post what they had for breakfast and not a gift they received it is insulting...yea, that happened with another quilt too! No card, no nothing. You are not alone!
    To quilt or not to quilt?.....what a ridiculous question!
    Check out all things quilty at my blog here: http://www.sassyquilter.com

  8. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    OK, first off, I have to say, it's not just the up and coming generation. My brother is in his 60's. I mailed a quilt (his son's wedding gift) to him, as I was unable to attend the wedding and wasn't sure of the kid's address. I sent it with plenty of time before the wedding so at least it would be there for them. I waited 2 weeks then called my brother and asked if Marc's gift had arrived. My brother said "Oh yeah, it got here." My reply "It would have been nice to know, you twit!" When Marc and Katie returned from their honeymoon I got a handwritten note from them saying how much they liked the quilt and that it was laying across the foot of their bed. It happened to be the colors of their bedroom so they were thrilled. It was my entry into the first Iron Quilter contest.

    I'm not a big letter writer, never was, but I did send thank yous. Now I usually call when I receive a gift.
    K is for Karen .....................Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.

    Before you speak,
    T - is it TRUE?
    H - is it HELPFUL?
    I - is it INSPIRING?
    N - is it NECESSARY?
    K - is it KIND?


    Check my User Notes.

  9. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    I have no problem doing my own follow up on things that I send out. After about 2 weeks I'll call to check. I'll usually work it into a conversation something like "I don't know how your post office works but mine is kind of iffy at times - did you get my package?"

    And it's not that I expect a thank you ... I truly want to know that they got it. My mom was more obvious and would include a stamped postcard (addressed to herself) with a post-it asking them to mail it when they got the package or card. Guess I got my following up on things from her.

  10. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    It is absolutely amazing to me the lack of etiquette some have. I agree with Karen it isn't just young people it's all ages!! A hand written note or card is best...but a phone call at the very least!. It's with great pride that my daughter hand writes letters weekly to my mother from college. She gets so aggravated at her cousins when they post on facebook when they don't know something is going on...she usually responds with...ya know grandma has a phone...you could call her! Apple didn't fall far from the tree...she is not afraid to speak her mind! I honestly believe it starts with parents and their expectations and what they teach their children.
    Mary
    SW Missouri


    Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone.

  11. #10
    Block Queen

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    Default Re: I sent a gift & got no response...what to think?

    That's so annoying. At least some acknowledgment that it was received. I'd even prefer a fake "thank you!" I make my 6 year old write hand written thank you notes for every gift she gets. I was always made to do that as a child and I still do it today. It's called being courteous. There is not excuse for not saying Thank you.

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