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  1. #1
    Applique Angel

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    May 2013
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    Default Rough week for DH

    Jim is still in ICU; today is day 13. They had to put him back on the ventilator Thursday and he had another emergency surgery. They weren't sure what was going on with him, only that he had blood in his chest cavity. They discovered that he had popped his sternum back open where they had to cut it last week to repair his aorta. He probably did this by coughing. He is most likely going to have a tracheotomy on Monday...I've already signed the permission. Things change so rapidly with him that they can't say for sure. I told his nurse last night that as far as I was concerned, the earlier, the better. He is so miserable with that thing stuck down his throat. He can communicate by nodding his head and squeezing my hand and that is wonderful, but it is very frustrating for him to not be able to talk. The three days he was able to talk last week, he couldn't speak above a whisper.

    He has developed something called ICU Psychosis, not uncommon in those who have spent extended periods in ICU. It is caused by sensory deprivation (no windows, can't tell if it's night or day), and sensory over-stimulation (constant beeping noises, people poking around him, etc.) He told his son last week "they are burying people alive with their money". I don't know if it was a function of his paranoia or not but he also told me "don't lie to me". This was in response to me telling him that I was going to take him home as soon as he got better. It broke my heart.

    I had a little meltdown on the unit last night, not wailing and gnashing of teeth, but the tears wouldn't stop flowing. It's the first time I've let him see me cry. They asked if I wanted the chaplain to come pray with us and I did. (He looks like a leprechaun.) They let me stay for about an hour holding his hand. I was worried about him seeing me upset but I told myself if his blood pressure went up because of me they could fidget around with whatever they do to make it go back down. They finally told me the doctor wanted to make sure his blood pressure stayed low and they gave him something to make it go down. I took that as a subtle hint that I needed to go. I talked with the nurse for a few minutes before I left. She hugged me and told me she was praying for me. I couldn't ask for better care for him.

    My parents packed a suitcase and their meds and they are staying with me. They don't drive any more but it is a great comfort to have them here. I allow them to wait on me hand and foot, telling myself it is good for them too. They go with me when I go to the hospital and wait for me in the waiting room.

    Jim's sister loves us both but I had to give her a little tough love last night. She came last weekend for a couple hours and when she left she told me she was going to talk to me every day. It was beginning to get on my main nerve, particularly when she questioned what the doctors were doing. I did not answer when she called last night. Her voice mail said, "I'm not going to text. I told you I was going to talk with you every day. Call as soon as you can." I think that was one of the reasons I had my come apart in the unit. When I got home I texted her and told her I was exhausted, overwhelmed, overburdened, and that I was not going to call. I told her I was going to include her in the daily texts I sent to Jim's sons through the weekend and I would call when I felt like it. It felt good to press the send button. She responded "O.K." As we say in the south, "Bless her heart, I know she means well, but..."

    Thank you all so very much for reading this and praying for Jim and me. It means so much that people who don't even know us care so much. I'm not on the forum much right now but I feel the love.
    Grace-Ann

    What I make with my hands, I give with my heart.

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    Grace-Ann - thanks so much for the update. Your hubby and you are in my daily prayers. I am so glad that you can feel the love even if you don't have time to log in much. Just knowing that there are people caring and praying for you does help get you through the rough times.

    I am so glad that you stood up for yourself with Jim's sister - if it is too much to talk about it each day, then don't. You are keeping her in the loop with the group texts. Sometimes, people don't realize how hard it is to rehash the day with everyone you talk to and you just need a break from it. Keep letting mom and dad pamper you - this road you are on is very bumpy and you need to really take care of yourself so that you can continue taking care of Jim. Hugs, Lisa
    Lisa

    M*QC forum is full of the best people!

    I'm not just buying fabric, I am supporting the economy...

    A bad day in the sewing room is better than a good day at the office.

  3. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2012
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    My prayers for you and Jim continue. I am so sorry this is happening to you both. Please continue to lean on your parents.
    Lisa

    Please treat others as you would hope others would treat those you love.


    [/COLOR]

  4. #4
    Missouri Star

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    May 2012
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    My thoughts and prayers are with you both. I know how hard this is, get you some rest when you can and let others take care of you.

  5. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2011
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    That ICU Psychosis can be scary, but he will get over it. My DH had it too. Prayers for your strength, Glad to see your parents are there and it's OK they wait on you, you need this. Keep the faith, your DH and you are being upheld in prayer for healing and strength.
    Deut:31:6

  6. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    Oh I'm so sorry that you are going through this. You have my prayers. Be sure to take care of yourself too.
    Gayle

  7. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    You both have had a bad week and prayers are coming your way for a much better week for Jim and You.

  8. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2011
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    Grace-Ann this has got to be so overwhelming for you and I'm sending hugs and prayers for your husband and you. Please take care of yourself and get some much needed rest. Genny
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

  9. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Aug 2011
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    (((Grace-Ann), prayers continue for Jim and yourself. Glad to hear that your parents are there to help you, take their love and let them love/care for you.

    Huggers, Ruby
    Visit my fabric shopping cart YardageALaCarte.com - PM me for a 25% Off your Total Purchase Code, just mention "The Forum" in your message. Huggers, Ruby

  10. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Rough week for DH

    Grace-Ann - feel the prayers! It's okay for Jim to see you cry, it just reinforces how much you need him and will help him fight more. Praying that his repeat surgery goes well and that you can truly soon bring him home.
    Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
    it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

    "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

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