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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Default Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Driving to Florida early in the morning for my Grandpa's (mother's dad) funeral. I'm sad, but he is in no more pain and God has wiped away his tears, as he is rejoined with my Grandma...his beloved wife, in Heaven.

    My mother's husband of 36 years has been in the hospital (all week) again. Still doing test on him. I am feeling so bad for her at this moment. The other sad thing is I cannot stay. Mother is an alcoholic, which I hate admitting to anyone, but there it is. I will fly back down at mid month of October to spend some time with her.

    My own dad has been in the hospital for is heart and has gotten out. He is back in afib, but he has been passing out too. I will also be spending time with him, but he wants me to go to a quilt show with him next month and I cannot be away from home for a whole month right now.

    The hardest thing: I live in Kansas, a two days drive from home where mine and my DH's parents live. The guilt of it all sets in and the reality is fearsome. What else is there for me to say?
    Last edited by Sew Perfect; September 27th, 2013 at 05:26 PM.
    MISA
    I am a material girl. Wanna see my fabric collection?


    http://www.aprairiehomequilts.com/qu...ng-quotes.html

  2. #2
    Binding Belle

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    Sep 2013
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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your grandfather. You sure have a lot on your plate right now. Worrying about our aging parents is a huge concern and can be very overwhelming. Being so far away definitely makes everything more of a challenge but please don't feel guilty about it. You can stay connected with phone calls and emails. There is a lot of helpful info about caring for elderly parents on the internet, books too. The most important thing is for you to get some support so you aren't in this by yourself. It is a new reality to see your parents age, the roles have reversed and now it is time for us to take care of them and that is very scary. You have lots of support here so turn to your friends here whenever you need to. Praying for you and your family.
    KAREN from Kansas


    "Sometimes," said Pooh, "the smallest things take up the most room in your heart." by A.A. Milne

  3. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Apr 2012
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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Prayers for you Misa.......
    ~Kathy~

  4. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    I think you need a big ((((((((((((((HUG)))))))))))))))))).
    Beth

    Procrastinate. It frees up time to quilt!

  5. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Jul 2012
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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    I'm very sorry for your loss. You really can't beat yourself up over someone else's addiction, even a parent. It's hard because they took care of us as kids so we feel really lost when they need something we can't give. So, very hard. But, your mom may need you later a bit more than now. Right now, there is the shock of death, the dealing with arrangements, services and people are all around. But, later in a month or so... the quiet and the loss will set in and a visit at that time for her will mean so much more. She may not realize it now, because she may be feeling pretty over whelmed and even sorry for herself.

    But, we have to realize our own limits, and stick to that. If you can't deal with it, you can't. If you have boundaries due to choices you didn't make, stick to them. The fact that you are offering to go back so soon is pretty good if you ask me. Stay as long as you can, be supportive of her in her loss, grieve with your family for your loss of your grampa, and leave with a clear conscious knowing you did the right things, as best as you could.

    Do your very best to keep your word and go back down later.... she will need that visit just as much. And you won't be so burdened with the WHOLE thing then either. Let it go. Safe Travels to you!

  6. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Kens is right. We are all here if you need us. No matter what she is going through you do not have to tolerate her drinking and making it worse. Do what you have to do for all of you. Take care of you first.
    Lisa

    Please treat others as you would hope others would treat those you love.


    [/COLOR]

  7. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Oh Misa, I am so sorry for the loss of your grandpa and all of the other stuff that is going on in your life right now. Keeping you and yor family in my prayers. Please try to take some time for yourself during all of this. Hugs, Lisa
    Lisa

    M*QC forum is full of the best people!

    I'm not just buying fabric, I am supporting the economy...

    A bad day in the sewing room is better than a good day at the office.

  8. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Jan 2011
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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Sorry for your loss. Kensington said it well.
    Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!

  9. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    Misa, There is very little that you can do and you are doing it by having sweet good wishes for your Grandfather's reunion with your Grandmother. With so many others in bad health or situations you can't divide yourself into pieces to help everyone - just do the best you can. We'll be here to listen and comfort you when things get too much. Click image for larger version. 

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  10. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Not Sure What to Say Right Now:

    I'm praying for you...I wish I could give you a hug. Here's a cyber one for now (((HUG))). Barb

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