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  1. #1
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2011
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    Default Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    I suppose I shouldn't be ashamed to share what my particular illness is...yet I am.

    And don't worry, I'm NOT looking for sympathy (Lord knows I have enough of that from my family and friends), I just am looking for understanding, and possibly to improve things for someone in your life that may have major depression...knowledge is power.

    I suffer from MDD (Major Depressive Disorder). I've been fighting this battle for 8 years...every since I went through my cancer treatment for thyroid cancer. For some reason, depression took ahold of me and won't let go. It's a tough, tough adversary.

    I have been quite badly depressed for the past few months...unable to do normal activities of daily living. Finally last week I kind of hit a wall, and in my skewed thinking, felt that suicide was my only answer. I have been trained enough in therapy (2x per week with a psychologist) to know that when my thoughts turn that dark I need to get help, for I cannot trust my own thinking. So I called my psychologist, she immediately sent me to the hospital (psych ward) and I spent a leisurely week there (LOL). It has turned out very well though, as my psychiatrist started me on a new med, and within two days I was feeling MUCH better. I was discharged on Friday.

    I will start going to day therapy for depressed people starting this week...Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. I can't say that I'm overjoyed to be going...but I want so badly to get back to where I was 8 years ago, feeling healthy and whole, that I am going to grab on with both hands.

    Anyway, sorry to share so much personal stuff, but I felt since you all are so supportive, it wouldn't hurt to share a bit of what I'm struggling with. I hope I haven't offended anyone, if I have, then I am sorry.

    Love, Gayle

  2. #2
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2010
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Hi Gayle,

    Hope everything turns out very well for you. So sorry that you've been ill. Depression is one of the illnesses, you don't feel it coming. It often occurs after a major illness, like cancer. I know what I'm talking about.
    Why should you offend someone by talking about your problem? It is better to talk about it than to hide and suffer in your own corner.

    Wish you all the best and that the therapy is going to help you. Keep my fingers crossed

    Greetings from the Grand Duchy of Luxembourg

    Michèle

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  4. #3
    Missouri Star

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    Aug 2010
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    Not far from Cape Cod in Massachusetts
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    You share and share GF.... i know what depression is about... i have "more than most people could wish for" and still not that happy crazy lady i once was... and totally understand where you are coming from.. i prefer to call what i have ,,PTSD...
    More like having to "hang in there for a lot of stuff beyond my control, but not understanding that i could not FIX it "....I'm savy enough to recognize it,, and am careful to stay rested and busy...
    Just know we are all here for you anytime,,, I can think of NO thearapy as helpful as the wonderful women and Men here at QF....
    hang in there,, your doing the best you can, that's all anyone can ask.... hugs Barbara
    "Each day well-lived and Happy;
    that's all there is to Life!"

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  6. #4
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2011
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    West Jordan, Utah, United States
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Gayle,

    (HUGE HUGS)!!! There are two ailments that run rampant through both sides of my family tree: alcoholism and depression. It's a terrible combination, and, in some cases, has caused sever heartache. I chose not to drink, which takes one part out of the equation, but I do suffer from depression, and have also entertained thoughts of suicide, and have undergone therapy. What keeps me going in those dark times is knowing that I am loved, unconditionally, by my Father in Heaven, and that He holds me in the palm of His hands and carries me through the dark times, even when it's so dark I'm not sure He's there. I know in my heart He does the same for you. I am also certain you have many friends and family who love you completely and who want you happy. Don't be afraid or ashamed to lean on them. You know that, if the positions were reversed, you would be there to offer your strength.

    May God bless and keep you,

    Meli
    If you can't see it from 50 yards away on a galloping horse, it doesn't matter.

    Follow my quilting adventures at Quilting Foote

    Come join all the fun in our Farmer's Granddaughter Quilt Along!

    Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things. (I totally ripped this off from S)

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  8. #5
    Missouri Star

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    Oct 2011
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    Iowa
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Thank heavens you called for help, We don't want anything to happen to you! I have afamily member that goes thru spells of depression and I worry about her daily. You did the right thing when you called your doctor and don't ever be afraid to come here and share your feelings, we are here for you.
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

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  10. #6
    Missouri Star

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    Mar 2012
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    Southwest Louisiana
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Gayle, You will be in my thoughts and prayers. Hoping you will start feeling more like yourself very soon.

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  12. #7
    Missouri Star

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    Jan 2012
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    Missouri, but not close enough to MSQC!
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Many prayers for you my dear. I'm so glad you were able to seek help when you needed it most. It doesn't always happen that people in depression can recognize that they are in dire need of help, and seek it. I hope your new meds can help you live a more enjoyable and happy life, and thank heaven they seem to be improving the meds available every year.

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  14. #8
    Missouri Star

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    Jun 2011
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    Gayle,
    Thank you so much for trusting us enough to share this with us. I am so glad that you recognized that you need help and was able to reach out and grab on. So happy that the new meds are working for you.

    My prayers are with you.
    Bernice

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  16. #9
    Missouri Star

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    Dec 2011
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    Missouri Ozarks
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    I really understand where you are coming from. I send you big hugs and will keep you in my prayers.
    Donna
    MSQC: Where Strangers become Friends and Friends become Family!

    "The soul would have no rainbows, if the eyes had no tears."native American wisdom


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  18. #10
    Missouri Star

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    Apr 2012
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    Default Re: Why I've been gone so long / health issues.

    You will find great comfort here Gayle - I know - I was MIA for a bit and when I came back on I had so many "We miss you" messages - That really made me feel good - I have more friends now than I ever have - The ladies and gentlemen on here all so supportive and kind and generous! You would probably be surprised if everyone who suffered from this said so. Me included, I have been on Zoloft since '98. A few months ago I thought maybe I could go off it, but a few weeks later it became clear that I could not. My DH passed in '97 and I was put on one med then another, till finally we hit on Zoloft and magic!!!

    God Bless and check in here often - these people crack me up!!!
    ~Kathy~

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