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Thread: Lazy Hubby:(

  1. #41
    Missouri Star

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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    That has got to be frustrating. I can't say the same. My DH has been hyperactive all his life and he thinks work is a hobby. Since his open heart surgery 5 years ago he has pretty much stopped taking on side work (mostly) adn has bee learning how the relax and stay awake at the same time. Camp has been good for that. Now that he is out of work due to his shoulder injury/surgery he does all the hosuework and almost all the cooking. I LOVE IT and HIM! Although I do secretly refold my jeans because I don't like the way he does it. "Oh just putting away my laundry hun, thanks for doing it for me!"
    Nancy

    I got a sewing machine for my husband. Good trade, huh!?!

  2. #42
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Oh this is funny...I refold my jeans too! Lol.
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy Navas View Post
    I'd just stand on his oxygen tube until he started to turn blue . . .
    Me too.....
    TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

  4. #44
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Yep, standing on the oxygen tube might be the right answer.
    Bernice

  5. #45
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Between the bat and standing on the oxygen tube, I think we have it covered!

    But on a serious note, Rhonda, we're back at you needing to love yourself enough to take a serious look at this relationship. The stress of his lack of respect - his emotional abuse towards you is a major part of your depression and chronic migraine - tension - stress headaches! You don't need to be a doctor to figure this out. You need to get away from this man, at least for awhile to think clearly if he's worth risking your health for. Stress is a killer, it will do long term health damage to your body. Physical abuse will heal, emotional abuse doesn't heal on it's own. It can take many years of professional therapy to get one's mind put back at ease.

    Please, please seek out some help from a women's group, minister, health insurance counsel group, someone to talk to. You shouldn't have to live with someone who treats you like that. Plus someone who wants to live under those gross conditions unless you pick up after him 24/7.

    You have a huge sounding board here with support, however I think you need professional help that's local that can really be there for you.

    Prayers and love, Ruby
    Visit my fabric shopping cart YardageALaCarte.com - PM me for a 25% Off your Total Purchase Code, just mention "The Forum" in your message. Huggers, Ruby

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  7. #46
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Quote Originally Posted by Sandy Navas View Post
    I'd just stand on his oxygen tube until he started to turn blue . . .
    OM Gosh, Sandy, you just slay me!!!!
    ~Kathy~

  8. #47
    Applique Angel

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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Quote Originally Posted by HandsOffItsMine View Post
    Between the bat and standing on the oxygen tube, I think we have it covered!

    Please, please seek out some help from a women's group, minister, health insurance counsel group, someone to talk to. You shouldn't have to live with someone who treats you like that. Plus someone who wants to live under those gross conditions unless you pick up after him 24/7.

    You have a huge sounding board here with support, however I think you need professional help that's local that can really be there for you.

    Prayers and love, Ruby
    Thank you for the concern and I do visit with a church member on Wednesdays and a professional counselor one day a week. I am trying, it seems that when I feel like I make some headway, something (usually DH) knocks me back down. I do love him, but right now I just don't like him very much with everything else going on.
    "Our Lord has written the promise of resurrection, not in books alone, but in every leaf in springtime." Martin Luther (founder of the Lutheran Church)


  9. #48
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Jenny i love this letter... Your Mum is brilliant.... took matters into her own hands.... and you all stepped up to the plate... she's a very loving person for you all to miss the little things... they are after all what counts most....
    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny Mulhall View Post
    My Mum went 'on strike' when I was about 14 or so. We were a family of five kids and my Dad and we all expected her to do everything for us except breathe and poop! We were AWFUL!

    She made her announcement after dinner one Sunday and took herself off to her sisters house. We all laughed and rolled our eyes but Mum stuck to her guns for a little over a week. All of a sudden, the lack of the 'caring little touches' threw just how much she did for the family into focus. The big stuff like cleaning, cooking and laundry was inconvenient but the litle things were the ones that hurt. My Mum's strike took in things like tucking in and turning off lights! She was stony faced to our teasing, anger and pleading.

    Eventually, Dad told her sister to take her out to get her out of the way and he made us all help in cleaning the house. We sent my little brother into the garden for flowers and he picked every single growing thing in the place! Mum came home to a clean house and sincere and heartfelt apologies.

    She told us how hurt she was that she was made to feel invisible in her own home by her own family - my cheeks are BURNING with shame even now, 20 years later - and that she felt that she was less than worthless to us. She told us that we needed to help in future and Dad initiated 'Mammyday' every Wednesday - a tradition to this day! We slipped now and again after that but all it took was for Mum to say she was 'phoning her Union' to get us back on the straight and narrow!

    I'd say your family have just gotten used to you doing everything for them. It doesn't mean they don't care - just that they need a kick in the bum. Perhaps you should 'phone your Union'? LOL!
    "Each day well-lived and Happy;
    that's all there is to Life!"

  10. #49
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    For what it's worth.... marriage is about love and RESPECT.... you have "respected" him enough to put up with this for a long time.... if he's not willing to RESPECT you enough to try and change a few things to keep you with him... then it's time for him to be alone................don't know if you have children,,, but i'm guessing if you do,,, they would be glad to have you with them if need be...
    "Each day well-lived and Happy;
    that's all there is to Life!"

  11. #50
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    Default Re: Lazy Hubby:(

    Quote Originally Posted by Rhonda D. Matzker View Post
    Thank you for the concern and I do visit with a church member on Wednesdays and a professional counselor one day a week. I am trying, it seems that when I feel like I make some headway, something (usually DH) knocks me back down. I do love him, but right now I just don't like him very much with everything else going on.
    That's a part of the cycle of abuse...I know, I've been there. I loved my ex very much.....but I had to let it go and get on with my life - I could no longer live like that. I went to counseling too...my ex refused to go (he wasn't crazy *lol*). But in the end it was all up to me and I had to put me first.

    There's a song by Lorrie Morgan called Standing Tall that reminds me of that time in my life
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CloD4...eature=related
    Last edited by buckeyequilter; June 18th, 2012 at 11:52 AM.
    Shirley aka buckeyequilter
    I work to support a sewing habit that I don't have time for, because I work!

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