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Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

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    Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

    I have spent 6 months on these quilts. I put all of my heart and soul into them and was really pleased with how they turned out. My points matched..color choices looked great to me...my fmq was ok I thought. Hubby helped a lot and was a great supporter to me. He would often stop in my quilt room to admire them on the wall and tell me they looked great! I really miss seeing them every day. If someone had given these to me I would have been over the moon. All I got was a glance and "oh very nice". No attempt to even pick them up and look or touch them. Am I too sensitive? I try to tell myself that it does not matter BUT **** it does!!! I guess if you are not a quilter you do not realize how much of ourselves goes into each one. OK I feel better now. I knew you would understand. I am waiting for pics with the recipients and will post them later.

    #2
    Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

    Been there done that sometime people are unsure how to react. I had one that was scared of it I found out later she knew how much went into quilts and was afraid to use it in case something happened to it. I have begun to be really careful who gets a quilt I want it to be someone that wants it and will use it. Not everyone is that person sad to say. But once I gift it I have to let it go for me the joy is the creation and the thought of the person while making it.
    Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.

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      #3
      Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

      There are stories here of very similar feelings, the let-down of gifting a quilt that doesn't bring that contented and appreciative smile from the receiver. We've read stories of the disappointment of seeing a quilt used for purposes other than the intended use. It is a definite 'birthing' that we experience when we complete a special quilt and it is sad when it doesn't appear to be appreciated. All I can say is that you gave your all and your accomplishment means a great deal to those who share your love of quilting. Don't give up!! Quilters are givers. There are other people who are givers. But some people are simply takers!
      Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
      it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

      "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

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        #4
        Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

        They will realize what a gift it is when they snuggle under it on a chilly evening - or lay it on the grass for a picnic
        When I gift a quilt, particularly baby, I say to the recipient - "you cannot hang this on the wall and never use it - it is meant to be peed on, spit up on, dragged around by a toddler, and loved to pieces".
        For those that don't realize the time and effort; we do this because WE love the process - it does stink when people don't respond with much enthusiasm when they receive our quilts, but we know why we do it

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          #5
          Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

          I was unsure of what my daughter-in-law would think when they got theirs at Christmas. She surprised me and when they opened it she said "oh that's so pretty, I love it" - she generally doesn't do that with gifts or much of anything else. I gave them the Irish Chain quilt.

          I tell people when I give them a quilt that I hope they use them because that's why I made it. I'm still making quilts for the family. Have a few more to make.
          Shirley aka buckeyequilter
          I work to support a sewing habit that I don't have time for, because I work!

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            #6
            Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

            I wish the whole world could know the time and love that goes into every quilt. It is hard to give something up that you have spent hours creating,
            even if you know it is going to someone else when completed.

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              #7
              Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

              At my son's insistance, I made Jonathan' Veggie Tale quilt as a wall hanging. Noticed it wasn't hanging when we went down to their house. I was bummed, didn't say anything. They called months later- Esther won't sleep in her crib without having that quilt down.

              It might not be the intended purpose, but it is getting used. Question is, will the next Veggie Tale Wall Hanging be hung? Who knows!
              Katrina
              From NC, retired in FL
              “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou

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                #8
                Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                I used to tell myself that it doesn't matter... but it does, to me. I gave my sister a beautiful quilt in her favorite colors, and her reaction was deflated to say the least. I tried once again to tell myself ignore it... but my husband was there and witnessed her "Oh well"... attitude. He was appalled at her "Lack" of response to one of the prettiest quilts I have made.

                He was mad. It matters not though... not in the big picture, I have not stopped making them or giving them away. I made one for my sister during her passing, and she was overwhelmed with it. It was "So pretty" she kept saying, and touching it, she used it over and over during those weeks. It was washed fresh and she was wrapped in it when she passed. I forgot the other quilt pretty fast in the shadow of that.

                You just have to realize, as we all do... a gift is a gift and let it go. Hoping someday they open their eyes to it. I gave a simple twin size to my niece, and she cried, it meant so much. It's really the personality of the person, not the quilt.

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                  #9
                  Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                  I consider making a handmade gift for someone an act of prayer. So it doesn't really matter how they react because I made it as an act of faith and I'm giving it as an act of faith. I haven't been disappointed yet. :-)
                  Kathe

                  sigpic Don't practice until you get it right, practice until you can't get it wrong

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                    #10
                    Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                    People can be so rude without knowing it. I did a special order for a necklace for my youngest dd. It was a silver swirl that was hand stamped with Live, Laugh, Love. She had it written every where, Know what she said? Mom this is the first thing you gave me that I actually like. Honesly it hurt my feeling so much I just call her on her birthday. I have given her so much and she says something like that. I must of done something wrong with manners,
                    🌺 Lorie

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                      #11
                      Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                      I have made quilts for family members whose responses were nothing more than "nice quilt." Ooh that gets me. I can't help it. My quilts are HQ and I take so much time just planning them out. I used to not say anything but now I say, "Well I HOPE you can think of more than that to say. It took me a year to make that for you. Show a little appreciation why don't you." I hope that by being honest with them (that my feelings are a little hurt) it will hammer home the message that when someone makes you something, and time spent is considerable, it is darn well expected that they say glorious things like: that's the prettiest quilt you ever made, or that is just fabulous, or I love the colors, or that is perfect, exactly what I wanted.

                      To answer your other question, when I get almost done with a quilt, like hemming the binding, I think I do slow down a bit, knowing we will soon be parting company. Kinda like reading a really good book
                      You know you can finish it if you stay up till 30 a.m but you are enjoying it so much you deliberately ration off the ending to make it last just a little longer.

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                        I'm still trying to put my bad feelings aside over the quilts I made 2 stepdaughters, 1 son in law and 3 step grandchildren for Christmas. They live in Virginia and DH took them but I couldn't go, they supposedly thanked him but, here it is almost April and I haven't heard a word from them. In all fairness DH did spend all those hours at the sewing machine making them. It will be the last gift they ever get from me.
                        Since you're always on my mind can you straighten out the mess up there?

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                          I am sorry that is the only response. You got, it hurts. I got the best response. The other day. I tooka scrap. Quilt. To a frend from the Philippines, she jumped up and down. Hugging. The see quilt laughing and crying. Told me she had never had a quilt. Her kids told me she wont even let them touch it. It was such a wonderful experience.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                            Originally posted by Hulamoon View Post
                            People can be so rude without knowing it. I did a special order for a necklace for my youngest dd. It was a silver swirl that was hand stamped with Live, Laugh, Love. She had it written every where, Know what she said? Mom this is the first thing you gave me that I actually like. Honesly it hurt my feeling so much I just call her on her birthday. I have given her so much and she says something like that. I must of done something wrong with manners,
                            You didn't do anything wrong with teaching manners. I often wonder the same thing sometimes. I raised two boys in a house with morals and values. They are great kids and I was on them constantly about doing or saying the right things. I drilled about always being honest and I practice what I preach. So why do the lie sometimes??? Outside influences. You can teach until the cows come home but you can't combat the outside influences. We do our best and can only hope the lessons go with them. Now that my boys are older, some of those lessons are starting to show. Those manners you taught might not show yet but they are there and one day you'll see that you did teach her right. Sometimes it doesn't show until they are in the same situation and THEY feel what you feel.
                            Hugs,
                            Joanne

                            There are no mistakes, only happy accidents. - Bob Ross

                            A girl needs to surround herself with TONS of happiness.
                            Happiness = fabric!:icon_woohoo:

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Do you ever feel deflated when you finish and gift a quilt?

                              Yes. I know exactly how you feel. To not even acknowledge it with a simple thank you is very hurtful. This has happened to me on several occasions. In my experience the young people are usually the ones who don't show any appreciation at all. I still can't get over a bride never sending a thank you for a wedding quilt I made for her and her new husband. I wonder if she bothered to thank anyone for the gifts they received. If not, shame on her. If she felt it wasn't necessary since I'm in Europe that's a lousy excuse. I have an address in her parents' neighborhood. She could've easily sent a note. The thing that I don't get is this is a type A individual. I really never expected this from her. I wasn't invited to the wedding but it doesn't matter. She should've sent me a thank you. Good grief!!! She could have easily sent me a PM on Facebook and thanked me but she didn't even bother to do that. I am always getting on my girls about showing thanks for the gifts they receive. It's like pulling teeth to get my one daughter to do this. It really upsets me. It's so self-centered. I just hope when my girls marry they follow through with those thank you notes. They are so important.
                              Last edited by rebeccas-sewing; March 27, 2015, 04:27 AM.
                              Goodbye Europe! Hello California! Home sweet home.

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