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Am I overreacting ??

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    Am I overreacting ??

    ok here goes......I have a niece whom I have not seen in many years,she decides to come to Hawaii with her 9yo daughter and stay with me,fine,cool whatever. Anyway while shes here she decides it would be super cool for her and her 3 kids to all have a Hawaiian quilt made by me,again fine whatever.So we go and she picks out the fabrics she wants,again cool whatever. BUT then she wants to choose the pattern for each one,also somewhat fine EXCEPT I cant really work that way. When I buy fabric for a quilt I have to have time to look at the fabric ,study it and THEN decide which pattern would work best. NOPE she goes through pics on the internet and says "i want this one to be done like this" and "that one like this" etc. Ok im already stressed out and simply agree to her choices. ~Deep breath!~ Yall keep in mind I have not been quilting very long so im still very new and still learning,I cant simply look at a stupid pic and "DO IT". Ok so whatever,her vacation ends and she leaves,I start her quilts. Made the 1st one exactly the way she wanted,on to the 2nd....had to modify it because in cutting I was losing way to much of the print and having too much waste! I posted pics and she loved it,Now on to the 3rd again had to modify because its a very lg print sooo I decided NOT to cut said print but to make the large print fabric the back.I was also using 2 charm pks that match lg print fabric so I made 2 big stars and am surrounding them with the charm pk squares its gonna be AWESOME! I posted pics and sent her a text and I get NO response.
    Im kinda put out by this because Im working really hard and doing it for free,and she cant be bothered to respond??!! So Im feeling kinda pissy and dont even feel like sewing on her quilts (4 total) .
    Am I overreacting and being stupid??

    #2
    Re: Am I overreacting ??

    I can certainly understand being frustrated. If she answered you before I would wonder what's going on now. I would probably try again and then decide if it's worth my time to finish them. She might not be thankful when you're done so how will you feel if that happens? You might also just enjoy the process, send them to her and let it be done and lesson learned. I think one of the problems many of us have is when someone picks fabric, pattern, etc who has little or no knowledge of the skill and time involved it can kill the joy we have in what we do. I have definitely gotten more joy from the quilts I've made when I've chosen the fabric and pattern and it was a total surprise to them. I hope she will truly appreciate the work you have done. Post pics for us please so we can all ooh and aah! Good luck!
    Vernona:icon_hi:

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      #3
      Re: Am I overreacting ??

      Michelle quilt 3.jpg heres the one Im talking about, I just got off the phone with her and she dont like the stars she wants it redone Whatever I just spent all day making them no big deal apparently my time is worthless

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        #4
        Re: Am I overreacting ??

        I LOVE it, she sounds a bit ungrateful, I would not redo it, finish it as you wish then ask her if she wants it, if not send her the others.
        Beth

        Procrastinate. It frees up time to quilt!

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          #5
          Re: Am I overreacting ??

          Learn to say "No." There are many patterns on the internet and posted here by forum members that are beautiful and very complicated patterns. I've been quilting for many years but I know my limits. Sometimes, those who do not sew or quilt do not know an easy pattern from a complicated design, that large scale fabrics lose their effect when cut into small pieces; they are oblivious to the time consumed in each quilt; often unappreaciative of family members time and efforts. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.

          Personally, I think your niece took advantage of you in asking for 4 quilts to be made for free and you enabled her by being sweet, wanting to do something nice for her family, and unable to say no. She probably has no idea of the time involved. It's a little late, but next time say no or suggest a pattern that you're comfortable in making. Don't be shy.

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            #6
            Re: Am I overreacting ??

            She sounds a bit ungrateful. I like what you've done.
            The best kind of sleep beneath Heaven above/ Is under a quilt, handmade with love

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              #7
              Re: Am I overreacting ??

              Just from the get go, the woman sounds a bit presumptive and used to being the center of her own world. SO, I guess it depends on how much you want to please her and how much you are willing to put yourself out. Right about now, I'd send her the two finished ones and let the third one sit until I could feel better about fixing it. I hope she at least paid for the shipping.

              Good luck. I know how hard it is to break old habits.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Am I overreacting ??

                I don't think you are overreacting! Wow, you have done a LOT. I don't know what to suggest, though (I don't know enough about your relationship with this person). Good luck!


                Edit: I just had a thought when I went back and looked at the picture. Since it has not yet been sewn together, could you take the squares that make up the stars and spread them around somehow so they are no longer stars (since she does not like stars) or maybe incorporate them into a border? That way you would not be wasting fabric and your effort sewing them would not be wasted either. Just an idea I had. (It looks fine now, by the way!)
                Last edited by ozziepuppy; July 19, 2014, 12:48 PM.

                sigpic
                Marci

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                  #9
                  Re: Am I overreacting ??

                  I would just make the quilts as close to her way as you can, improvising as you have done when necessary, and then send them to her. I would not ask her opinion along the way. By asking you are opening yourself up to the reactions you have gotten.
                  Dolores :lol::icon_heh:

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                    #10
                    Re: Am I overreacting ??

                    Totally agree w/Asta, Sharyn, Terry & the others.... I love my quilts so much by the time I'm finished I ONLY give them to really close relatives who LOVE & I KNOW WILL love them as much as I do. I have a little key on my digital devices I use for mean or unwanted "friends" AND "relatives".......delete....I'd definitely use it on her!!! It feels good to just tap DELETE them off your planet!

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Am I overreacting ??

                      Originally posted by Sharyn J View Post
                      Learn to say "No." There are many patterns on the internet and posted here by forum members that are beautiful and very complicated patterns. I've been quilting for many years but I know my limits. Sometimes, those who do not sew or quilt do not know an easy pattern from a complicated design, that large scale fabrics lose their effect when cut into small pieces; they are oblivious to the time consumed in each quilt; often unappreaciative of family members time and efforts. I could go on and on, but you get the picture.




                      Personally, I think your niece took advantage of you in asking for 4 quilts to be made for free and you enabled her by being sweet, wanting to do something nice for her family, and unable to say no. She probably has no idea of the time involved. It's a little late, but next time say no or suggest a pattern that you're comfortable in making. Don't be shy.
                      I agree 100% here. There is nothing wrong with the star quilt its very pretty. You were taken advantage of and used. My advice learn to say NO!.
                      sigpic:icon_hug: Iris Girl = April = fabric, Fabric FABRIC!!
                      Time spent with cats is never wasted.
                      Sigmund Freud

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                        #12
                        Re: Am I overreacting ??

                        I agree with Doloris. Don't ask, just send them. i would of made them all D9p's with Hawaiian fabric or dresden turtles
                        "People were created to be loved. Things were created to be used. The reason why the world is in chaos is because things are being loved and people are being used"― Dalai Lama XIV

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                          #13
                          Re: Am I overreacting ??

                          I think your "yeah, whatever" might have gotten you into some trouble with her. While she was picking out the patterns you should have told her "No" then. By more or less going along with her I think she got the impression that you were going to bow to her wishes, even if that wasn't the best choice for the fabrics.

                          I agree with whoever it was that said finish them with no more updates and send them off to her and be done with it. Tough if she is unhappy with them. You'll have done your best and she can either appreciate your work or not, at least you won't have to deal with worrying about whether or not she approves. She's not paying so she really shouldn't have final approval, ya know?
                          K is for Karen 😊​..................
                          Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.


                          Before you speak,
                          T - is it TRUE?
                          H - is it HELPFUL?
                          I - is it INSPIRING?
                          N - is it NECESSARY?
                          K - is it KIND?

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                            #14
                            Re: Am I overreacting ??

                            Originally posted by Hulamoon View Post
                            I agree with Doloris. Don't ask, just send them. i would of made them all D9p's with Hawaiian fabric or dresden turtles
                            Please post a picture of a dresden turtle--I can't remember (if I knew) what this is. ("Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most" LOL)

                            sigpic
                            Marci

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                              #15
                              Re: Am I overreacting ??

                              I'm all worked up for you. That quilt is wonderful.

                              I would only send her the others if she's the one who bought all the fabric, and then just to have it out of my life.
                              She sounds like she doesn't understand anything that goes into what she asked you to do, at all.

                              A number of things bother me about her behavior, but demanding an adorable quilt be redone when she's not your customer is just too far. Actually, showing up at your house to stay without being directly invited was too far... everything since then has been past "way too far" into the land of 'this is why I don't facebook' and 'how to avoid racist family functions 101'.

                              At this point I might try explaining Placing a Value on Your Quilts | Sew Mama Sew | ... That you normally choose the quilt to go with the fabric after studying it a while, that quilting is something you feel very new to doing, (that it's something you do for relaxation and FUN and she's making it not be fun anymore) and that custom orders aren't your normal work flow.
                              If she wants it done differently she can pay someone to do it. I'd like to see her face when she learns the hours+costs involved.

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