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  • #46
    Re: Well he finally did it

    What you are going through is o picnic. But take some time and think of yourself. I was really working on trying to improve things in my marriage, had thought about divorce and then talked myself out of it, etc. Well, was I surprised when he wanted the divorce and filed. In the end, I think it came down to sex and money. He filed then was dragging his feet, and withdrew the filing (long story). I finally couldn't take being in limbo, so I filed. He got way more than I think he deserved. (I was the major breadwinner.) I finally decided, that my relationship with my children was more important than money, and I could always make more money than him. It's been 10 years now, I know that financially I am good (much better than he is), and enjoy retirement, time with kids, etc. He and I have a good relationship now, although we could never be together again. He even came and helped install my gas dryer when I bought a new house last year.

    So, while this is a decision that only you can make, you have received free advice from many, have the option to ignore or use parts of any of it. Speaking with a local lawyer to understand your specifics, would help you in making decisions. Take your time as it is a big decision. I don't know how old your children are, but they too will survive, especially if they have survived him living in the tent. Good luck.

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    • #47
      Re: Well he finally did it

      First thing is, that I never asked for advice. It started out just being an update. Being called a doormat is a little harsh, but what can you do. That's why I don't share too much.

      Karen my step kids are in their thirties and my own are 24 and 25. Dh does help when I have car trouble, but right now he can hardly walk.
      sigpic


      Lorie

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      • #48
        Re: Well he finally did it

        So sorry if advice offered was not wanted........was made with the best of intentions! Hope you are doing well!!!

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        • #49
          Re: Well he finally did it

          Originally posted by Doloris View Post
          Lori, I would go see a lawyer and understand my options. Sometimes just doing something like that is all it takes for them to see you are serious. If "he" finds out you saw a lawyer he might change some of his ways a little.
          Might not change much, but if you don't want the D at this time it might change enough to be tolerable
          After years of supporting my SIL with hugs, understanding and gentle advice after her DH left her I finally gave her auntstuff's advice. She did find out what her options were but didn't go further . He divorced her and left her almost nothing it finally sunk in but it was too late.
          MissMay AKA May in Jersey

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          • #50
            Re: Well he finally did it

            Originally posted by MaggieSue View Post
            So sorry if advice offered was not wanted........was made with the best of intentions! Hope you are doing well!!!
            I appreciate all the advice! up until the point of being called names. It's almost like being called stupid. I own a house in Calif that he can't touch. I think I'm pretty smart. Please no lawyer advice on that. lol
            sigpic


            Lorie

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            • #51
              Re: Well he finally did it

              Anyone who has a naked chicken hanging in their sewing room . . .

              Sending you HUGS (and a box of feathers - now go dress that chicken).
              Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
              it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

              "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

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              • #52
                Re: Well he finally did it

                Originally posted by Sandy Navas View Post
                Anyone who has a naked chicken hanging in their sewing room . . .

                Sending you HUGS (and a box of feathers - now go dress that chicken).
                I will do that! Poor thing has been stuck upstairs for awhile and needs to come down and keep me company!
                sigpic


                Lorie

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                • #53
                  Re: Well he finally did it

                  Sending good vibes and hugs to you as you work through this. You will figure out what is best for you and your family. Pull that sewing machine back out - they are good therapy. Something about that hum and creating help me to think through things.
                  Lisa

                  M*QC forum is full of the best people!

                  I'm not just buying fabric, I am supporting the economy...

                  A bad day in the sewing room is better than a good day at the office.

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                  • #54
                    Re: Well he finally did it

                    Originally posted by Hulamoon View Post
                    First thing is, that I never asked for advice. It started out just being an update. Being called a doormat is a little harsh, but what can you do. That's why I don't share too much.
                    This is why I was trying to help people understand that there is a time for "tough love" and a time to uplift and support a friend in need. Some folks don't/won't see the difference. But on the upside, many here are offering their uplifting support and their encouragement and keeping you firmly in our thoughts and prayers as you go through this very tough time. Hugs!
                    Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

                    Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!

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                    • #55
                      Re: Well he finally did it

                      I too, like many others have been through similar situations. But only you know what's best for you and your family. Hang in there and the answers will come to you one way or another. You will get through this.

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                      • #56
                        Re: Well he finally did it

                        Originally posted by Hulamoon View Post
                        I will do that! Poor thing has been stuck upstairs for awhile and needs to come down and keep me company!
                        Click image for larger version

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                        A friend for your friend.

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                        • #57
                          Re: Well he finally did it

                          Lorie - you have a picture of your naked chicken? I don't think I have one any more.
                          Maybe I should chicken pincushion Deb!
                          Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
                          it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

                          "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

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                          • #58
                            Re: Well he finally did it

                            I do!

                            Click image for larger version

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                            This is closer up.

                            https://forum.missouriquiltco.com/al...chmentid=51220

                            Click image for larger version

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                            Last edited by Hulamoon; April 1st, 2018, 06:29 PM.
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                            Lorie

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                            • #59
                              Re: Well he finally did it

                              Originally posted by mommadeb View Post
                              [ATTACH=CONFIG]151471[/ATTACH]

                              A friend for your friend.
                              LOL Thanks! Don't let Sandy stick you!
                              sigpic


                              Lorie

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