Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Family Advice?

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    Family Advice?

    I may be putting the cart before the horse, but I'm having issues with a little family hear say...

    My MIL told my DH that 2 of my nieces wanted quilts. That doesn't bother me. I'd gladly make them each a quilt. What is niggling at me is what my DH's aunt said. It isn't niece "X" that wants a quilt, it's her mom that only wants a T Shirt quilt made with all of her band T- Shirts.

    My current SIL (niece X's Mom) makes no effort to see us when we go to IN. We're never invited to "her" home and she assumed that since her brother is gay, my family wouldn't know how to act in front of him over Christmas holidays this year. It was so obvious that she was a nervous wreck when her brother insisted on visiting my MIL with his significant other. It bothered me that she thought anyone in my family could be so heartless.

    Anyway, DH told MIL that the nieces would have to talk to me. I'm fine with that. If niece X wants a t-shirt quilt, I'll gladly make it for her. I love her as if she were one of my BIL's own kiddos, but if it's only for SIL... I'm not to sure it would ever get finished.

    I'm feeling like I'm being kind of petty about it all. Should I just wait and see if they call at all before I get my panties in a wad?? Of course, I have another niece that I offered my mom's china. She's yet to call either. My granddaughter is going to end up with it. No skin off my nose about that!

    Thanks for suggestions and advice!
    Katrina
    “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.” Maya Angelou

    #2
    Re: Family Advice?

    It's not petty. I wouldn't do it. Why? because they are going all around you and your going to feel guilty if you don't do it. Just say you don't know how to work with knits-wits. lol

    Sorry, I didn't really mean that, just being silly. I had a family take advantage of me and your story just brought me back there. I hope you get good advice.
    Last edited by Hulamoon; February 16, 2017, 07:44 PM.
    🌺 Lorie

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Family Advice?

      I think I understand where you are coming from. Family issues are seldom simple or easy. I think your stance of wait and see if your nieces call and ask is a good response. You indicate you would gladly make a quilt for them. Making a quilt is not only a work of art, but a work of love, and I can understand you feeling it would be hard to complete a quilt for someone who you are not close to.

      The flip side of this is that you could take the high-road and maybe making a quilt for your SIL would open the doors of communication and you will find some common ground.

      I also appreciate your statement that you have the manners to not be rude to her brother and his partner. It's a shame fewer people can't have that attitude and demeanor.

      The above is just my two cents worth. I hope you figure out your situation.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Family Advice?

        I tend to agree with Hulamoon. It's too manipulative for me and that usually turns out to be much more pain in the neck than it can ever be worth it for me. You could always say you don't know how to do Tshirt quilts when your niece asks (for her mother) and then press her on what other type of quilt that you can do would she love.
        https://forum.missouriquiltco.com/co.../icon_wave.gif
        Women are Angels. When someone break's our wings we will continue to fly-usually on a broomstick.We're flexible like that.

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Family Advice?

          I think this is all good advice. for some reason, people think that they should get a quilt from a quilter as a gift and really, there is more to it than that. we do it because we love the craft and we want to share it, but we do it for love. if these nieces aren't coming around to be friends and loved ones, then I would just not be eager to bestow this wonderful gift to them. I have a customer at the restaurant that continually hints that I should just make her a special quilt because she comes in often. I tried to explain that my time making quilts is for the children and she is certainly welcome to donate and purchase one and I would even be willing to make one in colors she would appreciate. ;the request for special t-shirt quilts etc is more than an act of making a quilt. wait and see
          Walk in peace with the Lord by your side.
          Terry

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Family Advice?

            Katrina....tough shoes to walk in, sweetie!

            From my perspective on your quandary.......I only create items from fabric for those who appreciate me, show they care and would appreciate the gesture.
            If niece X really wants the T-shirt quilt done? Have her supply the additional materials and make the request.
            Sherri

            "Don't let someone else's ugly spoil your beautiful. " Thanks, Bubby!!!!!!

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Family Advice?

              I think you should wait for your niece/nieces to approach you. Family drama is uncomfortable at best...good luck.
              sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


              Scottie Mom Barb

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Family Advice?

                I agree with everyone, wait and see. I don't like people who him and haw and beat around the bush. Come out and say what you want.
                Last edited by Monique; February 17, 2017, 06:28 AM. Reason: missed a word
                Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Family Advice?

                  Wait for your niece/s to approach you. That way you will know that they really want it and also they can tell you what they like. Let them know up front that it is not for a dog bed or used as a car cover! You can also tell them how to care for it. The dog/cat/pet can cuddle up with them and the quilt though.
                  Vonnie

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Family Advice?

                    I reread your post and my response and I'm still going to stick by it. Nieces yes if they ask. SIL not so much. Show her this
                    https://www.etsy.com/listing/2613340...arch_query=tee shirt quilt&ref=sr_gallery_23

                    There are other sellers on Etsy too, so she can shop around.
                    🌺 Lorie

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Family Advice?

                      I agree about waiting for her to approach you. I hate family drama, and it seems we all have some at some time. Lorie, that's a wonderful link to show her. It would let her know the value of having the T shirt quilt made.
                      A day patched with quilting Seldom unravels Sharon

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: Family Advice?

                        I would wait until the nieces ask you themselves. That is what I would do. Good luck with it.

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: Family Advice?

                          Just wait and see who calls and asks for a quilt. If it happens, either from the nieces or from the SIL, then make it. Even for the SIL, because she asked, and it might open up a new relationship for y'all. But I doubt if she will ask.

                          Most often I've found that people who try to shield family from other family members isn't because of the family, but more because the person is embarrassed about it or unsure about how they themselves deal with the situation. We have members in our family who are lesbians, drug addicts, alcoholics, and unwed partners and we all treat them like family, even though their own family is agitated about it.

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: Family Advice?

                            Family drama! Quilting is your hobby & should bring you joy. Quilts should only be a gift for those who you know will appreciate them.

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Family Advice?

                              Being a former (and unhappy) people pleaser I finally decided on some personal rules.
                              If someone wants something from me they need to open their mouth and tell it in simple terms. I'm not a mind reader.
                              I never do he said/she said. I will shoot the messenger
                              I'm kind whenever possible. If not possible then I quickly and abruptly shut the other person down.
                              My no means no.
                              I agree with the group.
                              :icon_happy:


                              sigpic

                              Comment

                              Working...
                              X