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A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

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    #16
    Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

    Please try to understand you dd. I have a friend whose suffered from hay fever for years and her dh never understood until he developed allergies. Allergies can develop at any time in life, even if you've grown up with animals all your life, one day it can attack your system without warning.

    Holidays can be hard with family at times. We hurt the most when those we're closest to hurt us. I soooo understand and talk from experience. Keep the doors open for relationship, in the end it will be worth it if the relationship on the whole is worth it to you.

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      #17
      Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

      I'm assuming the clan get together on the 27th is not at your house, right? Is anyone else coming to you home on the 26th?

      I know some people get allergies after they are adults. I am one of them. So she could have developed an allergy to your cats after she left home.

      I can imagine how hurt you feel. I'd certainly want to have a day with my kids. This year, since you have had words with her already, I'd carry on without her and her family and enjoy the rest of your family. Then later next month, maybe you can have an honest talk with her. If she has taken the stand that her allergies prevent her from visits in your home (even with antihistimines) AND you want to have days with her, then suggest she host the event on the 26th next year. And let her know that allergy doctors can help with cat allergies.

      In any event, enjoy the time with your clan on the 27th. It sounds like a grand time with so many people!

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        #18
        Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

        Thanks to all for your understanding. I have taken all the comments to heart and I did apologize for hanging up on DD. I have left the door open for discussion on how to avoid this type of situation in the future. I don't think anything will change for this year so DH and I will spend the day alone, but we will make it special for just us. Thank you Forum Friends for listening..just putting it out there made it all easier for me and I truly appreciate each and everyone of you for taking the time to help.
        Thank you and Merry Christmas to all!
        Peggiep
        "I don't need to get organized, I just need a bigger sewing room." :)

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          #19
          Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

          I am here with 3 cats, one dog and one rat and ALLERGIC to them all. You should have seen Les and I last night!! I hope today will be better.

          Peggie, I hear ya! Try not to stress over it, hurt feelings aside.

          P/S Sadie only thinks of us as taxis.
          Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!

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            #20
            Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

            Eh. Holidays. I agree with Sandy. Book a trip. Something similar went down for us last year and I stewed and cried for a day or two, then booked tickets for shows. We saw White Christmas and A Christmas Story. Both things I would not have spent the $ on if we were planning a big dinner. Christmas Day was a little quiet, but it turned into the day after and all was well. The "storm" blew over and here we are. A year later. With age I guess you just have to let it roll. It's just not worth listening to your ears ring from raised blood pressure. Am I right?
            sigpic~~Libby~~

            Quilters make great comforters.

            Friendship is sewn with love and measured by kindness.

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              #21
              Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

              From a "rambling old gal":

              You are all right! After years of wonderful family Christmases when my parents and his were alive, then marriage, small children, morphing into grown children,,, alcohol problems (son) DD married and extremely happy both working their tales off raising a wonderful son.. retirement, I could go on forever... It has all come down to BOTH of my children giving all they've got to be kind and giving to their parents... eventually it all comes around from my experience... YES i am very blessed. I guess my point is that life is a roller coaster and if we can just try to stay positive it will all work out...trust God to lead you to where you should be right now! We have our health and each other...took me almost 50 years but we made it.. Hang in there... but always be truthful and let your feelings be known... Mom's can't "FIX" everything) Merry Christmas to all... Before you know it we will be in 2017 quilting along again... Hugs, GB
              "Each day well-lived and Happy;
              that's all there is to Life!"

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                #22
                Re: A Rant..but I have to talk about it!

                Ok, without taking the time to read everyone else's post, I'm going to slip in a quick note about cat allergies and hope I'm not repeating what others may have said.

                I am VERY allergic to cats. I wasn't when I was young. Also, in adulthood both of my children have developed severe allergies to cats. So two things: First, it's quite possible your daughter developed her allergies after she left your home. Second, standard amounts of allergy meds do not help me around cats. I would have to take a massive amount to get any relief. The same goes for my children (mid 20's). All three of us can be around a dog as long as we take an allergy pill every day, but not cats.

                So, I'm going to suggest your daughter is not just making up an excuse to not go to your house. No one in my family has a cat, but if they did, I would not visit their home. It's just too difficult to deal with. If your daughter is already on meds b/c of her back, I think it's reasonable that she doesn't want to add the excessive amount of allergy meds it would take to deal with your cats.

                Hope you can get it worked out. Merry Christmas!

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