First of all p, I want to thank those kind friends who have reached out to me recently... I really appreciate your concern...
Yes... I've been gone fir a long time... Nit like me, I know.... This forum has always been a source of support, knowledge and the daily smile....
Something happened... I don'5 know what it was, but one day I simply walked out of my quilting room, and stopped quilting... I began doing a little crochet and knitting.... nothing fancy....hats, scarves, etc.... I found I could get these simple projects done... really done...
But.... that isn'5 it.... my life has changed in a way that I find neatly interoperable... Due to my glaucoma, I had to give up driving... living in an area that lacks public transportation, not being able to drive simply ends your participation in life...unless you constantly beg rides.... something I eventually found too humiliating.
My life has been reduced to being dependent on someone for everything.....down to, and including, a simple roll of toilet paler.. I am so angry.....and so isolated....
I have family nearby, but they are all very busy.... I hate to ask for help... the help is always prefaced with how much we need to hurry, because......
I really haven't had anyone to talk with about my grief.... I cry every day.....needing the other half of me... 46 years was a very long time.. his last words to me were I love you...and then he was gone...
I spend hours watching videos,,,,, I might go days and days without actually seeing another person.... some days I think I'' going crazy....
Once you can'5 drive....if you live in a typical American small town... you're done... every purchase, every visit to church, every small thing you mihjy need....or your animals might need....is dependent on someone remembering that you might need to go shopping... it is humiliating to call anyone...even family....and say you need to, or worse yet, a personal care product....
So yes... I want to yell and scream...and break things...lots of things...
Does God want me to learn humility? Am I supposed to decide what I want to do, then find people who can get me there! And then get me home?
I can arrange fir Warren County Transport...but I might get stuck somewhere for hours....
I feel so **** isolated....do lonely.... so useless....
Thank the good Lord I have my sweet Finny and Spencer.... What would I do without then? That are truly a comfort... always there... wanting to be held and loved....
Sorry to ramble... nit you asked.... Where have I been? I really don't know... and I have no earthly idea where I'' headed...
I don''t feel that I belong anywhere.
Yes... I've been gone fir a long time... Nit like me, I know.... This forum has always been a source of support, knowledge and the daily smile....
Something happened... I don'5 know what it was, but one day I simply walked out of my quilting room, and stopped quilting... I began doing a little crochet and knitting.... nothing fancy....hats, scarves, etc.... I found I could get these simple projects done... really done...
But.... that isn'5 it.... my life has changed in a way that I find neatly interoperable... Due to my glaucoma, I had to give up driving... living in an area that lacks public transportation, not being able to drive simply ends your participation in life...unless you constantly beg rides.... something I eventually found too humiliating.
My life has been reduced to being dependent on someone for everything.....down to, and including, a simple roll of toilet paler.. I am so angry.....and so isolated....
I have family nearby, but they are all very busy.... I hate to ask for help... the help is always prefaced with how much we need to hurry, because......
I really haven't had anyone to talk with about my grief.... I cry every day.....needing the other half of me... 46 years was a very long time.. his last words to me were I love you...and then he was gone...
I spend hours watching videos,,,,, I might go days and days without actually seeing another person.... some days I think I'' going crazy....
Once you can'5 drive....if you live in a typical American small town... you're done... every purchase, every visit to church, every small thing you mihjy need....or your animals might need....is dependent on someone remembering that you might need to go shopping... it is humiliating to call anyone...even family....and say you need to, or worse yet, a personal care product....
So yes... I want to yell and scream...and break things...lots of things...
Does God want me to learn humility? Am I supposed to decide what I want to do, then find people who can get me there! And then get me home?
I can arrange fir Warren County Transport...but I might get stuck somewhere for hours....
I feel so **** isolated....do lonely.... so useless....
Thank the good Lord I have my sweet Finny and Spencer.... What would I do without then? That are truly a comfort... always there... wanting to be held and loved....
Sorry to ramble... nit you asked.... Where have I been? I really don't know... and I have no earthly idea where I'' headed...
I don''t feel that I belong anywhere.
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