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    Random Critter Thoughts.....

    I forgot to tell you'll about my lizard adventure. It started several weeks ago. I was walking through the house & was surprised to see a big brown slick lizard (not the little green house lizards...this on was creepy looking) sitting on the floor between our living room & dining room. It was huge....about 7 inches long......just sitting there looking around like he was a house pet! My first thought was....he can NOT get into the bedrooms. So I grabbed the broom & tried to hit him. I missed & he ran under the sofa. I ran him out & tried to hit him again & missed.....or maybe he was so big it didn't bother him. So anyway he ran into the kitchen & under the refrigerator. I couldn't find him again so I was leery but gave up the hunt.

    A few days later I saw him in the utility room. I opened the back door hoping to run him out & of course he disappeared under the washing machine. Well....great......now he will probably run up my arm while I am sorting clothes. By the way, I'm not afraid of little green house lizards but these big brown ones give me the "willies"! So again....I gave up the hunt.

    I told my DH about my adventure & told him if I saw the lizard again I was going to drop our giant dictionary on him. They are way too fast to swat with a broom. So a few days later I'm getting ready to go somewhere. I walked through the house & stopped in my tracks! There he is again......sitting in the same exact spot he was the first time I saw him. His head was up & he was leisurely looking around like he owned the place. I think he was mocking me. I grabbed something to swat at him & he ran into the corner of the dining room. So I grabbed our Unabrigded Webster Dictionary.....that is about 5 inches thick.

    At this point I didn't care if I ruined the book. The lizard is sitting by the wall right next to one of the dining room chairs. If I get too close & miss he will probably run across my foot & I would probably hurt myself getting away. So I decided on an air assault. I stepped up on one chair....holding the giant dictionary...and then stepped across to the chair next to the lizard. I hold up the dictionary & drop it on the lizard. The book lands on him but part of the book falls open so that part of it is propped on the wall. So I'm standing on the chair......looking down to see "if I got him".......and the book starts MOVING!!!! I'm not kidding!!! OMG....how strong is this lizard?!?! Now it's a battle of wills. I'm thinking this lizard Can Not get out from under this dictionary! BTW.....I can see it's tail sticking out from under the book. I step one foot off of the chair and I start stomping on the open part of the book trying to kill this ginourmous lizard. After a few minutes the lizard gets still. I left the book on him and went back to what I was doing. A few minutes later I checked on him & he had backed out from under the book a little bit........I knew this because I could see more of his tail. Time to bring in the heavy weights........literally.....I brought two giant heavy weights and sat them on top of the book to keep the lizard underneath. I decided to just leave him there until DH got home that evening. Maybe by then the lizard would be dead. I was starting to think the lizard was planning his revenge while laying under that dictionary! The dictionary survived but thankfully the lizard did not! Hopefully, his lizard relatives won't seek revenge.

    Well, that is my critter story. What is your critter story from in or around your house? I remember Blondie wrestling a snake one time a few years ago! Please share your critter adventure with us........
    "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

    Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
    Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

    #2
    Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

    Oh so many critter stories to tell, but my favorite was from when I was a teenager...

    We use to get bats occassionally in the chimmny, one day Mom opened the flue to prepare a fire and out flies a bat. Mom and stepdad (SD) start chasing the bat around the room with tennis rackets, and manage to actually swat it down. SD picks up the bat (assuming it was dead), and drops it into the toilet , closes the lid & flushes it (or so he thought).

    Later that day, Mom is heading for the shower and decides before hand to use the toilet, lifts the lid, and out flies the, apparently only stunned, bat. Mom screams, SD runs into the bathroom to find out what's wrong and the bat flies out of the bathroom with Mom chasing it into the living room swinging her tennis racket, which had been left in the bathroom after the failed flushing.

    Did I mention that Mom was buck naked and the house was full of about 10 teenagers? We laughed our butts off, to this day we call it "Buck Naked Bat-mitten"!

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      #3
      Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

      Wow....Caroline.......I loved your story! What a great laugh and hysterical image to go with the story! Thanks for sharing.
      "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

      Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
      Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

        Poor lizard. He was just eating bugs.

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          #5
          Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

          That was so funny Caroline!

          No funny stories. I did wake up to the toilet flushing over and over and found out my roommate was trying to flush a rat down the toilet. A horse in the yard and the goats all loose from the pasture down the street. All normal occurrences.
          🌺 Lorie

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            #6
            Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

            When the boys were young one of them talked me into buying him a pet snake. I was in the shower one morning and my son started knocking on the door and yelling. I figured the house was on fire so I came out of the bathroom to see what was wrong. He asked if his snake had died during the night and I buried it and I said no. The corner of the snakes tank lid wasn't put down tightly and the snake had gotten out. We searched high and low for the snake but never found it. Friends and family wouldn't come to our house for months. My dad asked if I turned on the lights at night when I got up and if I checked between the sheets before crawling into bed. I told him I didn't and I'd love to be able to find the snake I'd paid $100 for even if it meant stepping on it in the middle of the night!
            :icon_happy:


            sigpic

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              #7
              Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

              We lived in a "Raised Ranch" style house years ago. You open the front door and the stairs go up to the main floor and down to the basement and garage (so the front door is essentially on the landing of the full staircase). One day, a large chipmunk managed to sneak into the downstairs through the garage, and was scurrying around, maybe trying to get out. I completely freaked out about any sort of rodent in my house, and told my then very youngest DD (mind you, she is the youngest of 10 kids, 7 of whom were still living at home) to go put her shoes on and stay upstairs.

              The front door was open, with the screen door shut. Suddenly, the little critter went tearing across the kitchen into the living room, and DD#10 decided it would be a good idea to give chase. I, being the adult in the home, a college graduate, elementary school teacher, and pastor's wife, of course grabbed the broom and began shrieking at her to leave it alone, and where are the boys, and I TOLD YOU TO PUT YOUR SHOES ON!!!

              Then I looked at the door, where my sons' baseball coach was standing outside on the front steps, looking as though he were pondering whether to call 911 or just quietly back down the steps and pretend he hadn't seen or heard anything. "Oh, hi, Steve," I said, really wishing the floor would open up and swallow me whole. "Hi, Sally; just wanted to drop off these forms for David & Jon... Um... is everything okay?"

              "Well, there was this chipmunk..." I whimpered. "Ahh," he replied, so calmly, as though all the Little League moms acted this way. "You might be able to coax it back outside by leaving a trail of fruit to the door."

              God bless him; the man never mentioned the episode afterwards, nor treated me or the boys any differently. And the chipmunk decided that my home was not really the place he wanted to set up housekeeping, after all.

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                poor lizard. when we moved into our new house, common for critters to get trapped inside during the building process. in this case, here in texas, it's usually scorpions. CREEEEPPPPPYYYYYYY.....so, I'm running the tub, walked in and out of the bathroom a few times, then noticed the cat focused on something right in the doorway. don't ask me how I missed stepping on it. and of course, it was the same color as the carpet. he chased it into the bathroom, swatted at it, got stung, ran off. I didn't want to lose sight of it, so I screamed for my husband. a few times......a few more times......I heard him answering me but he wasn't anywhere close enough. my screeching was getting louder, I heard him come upstairs, then run downstairs, run thru the house, checking rooms. our bedroom door was closed and he couldn't hear me clear enough. until finally he stood in the middle of the living room screaming, 'where the #### are you!?' with my last breathe, 'I'm in the #### bathroom!'. to the fly on the wall, I'm sure it was very comical.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                  Poor lizard...............No way.......he was big enough to trip over!
                  "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

                  Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
                  Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                    They are pretty neat, actually, and no danger unless they are big enough to put a saddle on.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                      For critters like mice (we don't have chipmunks or squirrels) I have a humane trap and then let them go outside. For centipedes I arm myself with tongs and the toilet. lol.
                      🌺 Lorie

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                        #12
                        Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                        Best I can come up with is a couple years ago when my husband opened the back door to let the two dogs in, he got a surprise. In came Ginger, then Spike and right on his heels was the neighborhood roadrunner. Hopped right up on the threshold of the door, hubby slammed the door freaking out because "A bird tried to come in! A bird tried to come in!" The guy is terrified of birds in the house for some reason.

                        As for the lizard, I've considered getting a couple small house lizards as pest control before. Much rather have them around than bug spray. Saw a cute little blue tail in the backyard yesterday, was hoping he would just decide to come in since the back door was open.
                        K is for Karen 😊​..................
                        Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.


                        Before you speak,
                        T - is it TRUE?
                        H - is it HELPFUL?
                        I - is it INSPIRING?
                        N - is it NECESSARY?
                        K - is it KIND?

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                          #13
                          Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                          My cat used to catch lizards and bring them in the house, wounded but not dead, and quite able to give me a run for my money in trying to catch them to shoo them outside. Just little fence lizards, nothing to freak out about! Now the time here was a copperhead in the bathtub, that's another story! Guess who got elected by default to dispatch that? Not the hubs, he hated snakes! Jean the snaking killing queen took care of that one!

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                            #14
                            Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                            Karen.........a road runner.......how cool is that! Beep Beep! I couldn't resist.

                            Jean, our dogs have always caught the little green lizards outside and play with them. Every now and then they would try to sneak one inside. But we could usually tell what they were up to by the way the dogs held their head down .......so we wouldn't see the lizard........when they came in the house.
                            "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

                            Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
                            Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: Random Critter Thoughts.....

                              Ok, I've got an "around the house" story....

                              I run with my dog, Sophie, in the mornings before work. To do so, I use a leash that clips around my waist so I don't have to hold her leash in my hands. So one beautiful spring morning we're running along and I see a wild bunny dart in front of me - pretty common that time of year. I run a few more steps and then start getting jerked around like I'm a sock in a washing machine. I turned around to see what was going on with Sophie (keep in mind it is complete silence) and my sweet, beautiful, cute, cuddly, wonderful, amazing, smart dog has the bunny in her mouth and she's shaking the heck out of it. I start screaming and calling out the name of every command she knows (drop it, leave it, roll over, sit, etc.) to no avail.

                              This stranger was running by on the other side of the street, heard me screaming and asked if everything is ok. To which I hysterically reply - "No, please come over and help." So guy hesitantly jogs over sort of close to me - I explain the situation (in a very hysterical voice and very close to tears) as Sophie is still shaking the heck out of this poor bunny. I mean what the heck am I supposed to do - hang out while she eats this bunny for breakfast?

                              My dog is also VERY VERY VERY protective of me so I decide to use that to my advantage to get her to drop this bunny.I ask the guy to pretend to "get me" so my dog will go after him and drop the bunny - but also to make sure he's not too close to me so she cannot actually get him. So guy does a fake "RRRRaaaHHHRRR" with raised hands, I do a fake scream and sure enough Sophie drops bunny and growls/lunges after guy. I start yelling "Run, Run" to the guy to make sure he is far enough away from Sophie as I take off running because I want to make sure Sophie is far enough away from the bunny. Man, did that guy take off FAST :-)

                              So guy safely gets away and danger to Mom is averted so Sophie starts looking back longingly towards her bunny. Now she's seriously lagging behind. I look back to see if bunny is alive and can't really tell - I don't see obvious signs of trauma but bunny is not hopping away. Sophie and I make it home and I call out to my husband not to kiss Sophie good morning....as he's kissing Sophie good morning. Then I hear him call out "Why is there blood on her paw?" Uh, oh....bunny didn't fare as well as I hoped.

                              I explained situation and asked hubby to go make sure the bunny was dead because I didn't want it to suffer. To which he replied "If you are going to hunt with Sophie you need to clean up after yourselves". But then he went and verified - yup, dead bunny :-(

                              I swear for the next week or so every time we went by "the kill spot" Sophie was looking for "her" bunny. I've changed my tactics....now when we are out and I see a bunny I stamp my feet and clap my hands to scare it away from my bunny-killer dog. The first time I did that she kinda looked at me like "What the heck are you doing? I thought we were a hunting team?"

                              I've never seen that guy again. I guess I don't blame him.
                              Last edited by lmanna; September 8, 2016, 04:46 PM.

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