Diagnosis cancer, please help

[jjkaiser]

Not me but my DH was just diagnosed with non Hodgkins lymphoma. Our first visit to the oncologist is Tuesday. I already hate the words oncologist and cancer center. I don't even know if I should do research on this or not. I looked up lymphoma on Web MD right before his biopsy and he didn't have a single symptom, not even borderline. So we were totally blindsided with the pathology results. We haven't told our kids yet, we have three grown daughters. That will be so hard. Rick wants to see the oncologist first.

To complicate this even more it looks like we will probably lose our health insurance in January. The hospital I work at was recently bought out by a giant corporation and they are slashing everyone and everything. So our Plan B is Obamacare since we are 5 years away from being eligible for Medicare.

So if you have any advice for me I would love to hear it. Well I ever get to the point where I do not think about this and worry morning, noon and night? Because that's where I am right now and I can hardly imagine the stress of what the next year will be like. Thanks for listening.

[songbird857]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

Wrapping you up in a huge hug right now; I'll be praying for you both. I'm sure others will chime in who've had experience dealing with this...

[Lori63]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

Sending hugs your way too. I know your kids will be a huge support for you so don't be afraid to tell them. Sorry to hear about your insurance issues. A lot of times you can get cobra coverage through your employer for 18 months, although it may be expensive. Remember you have lots of support here too, we are always willing to listen if you need to talk.

[pcbatiks]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

Jocelyn, so sorry to hear this. When you meet with the oncologist have questions written down that you might want to ask. Or if you are comfortable have someone else in the room when you'll meet the Dr.....they can help you remember everything the Dr tells you. When you are overwhelmed it is hard to think and concentrate. When my DH was going through treatment years ago we felt like our heads were spinning at first.

I think I would tell your children after your DH's appointment if not before. The support from them will be helpful.

You might consider looking at MD Anderson's website. Years ago they had something call Network....I think.....where people dealing with different types of cancer could be put in touch with others that have been through the same type of cancer. It can be a great source of encourage talking to people that are doing well after dealing with something like this.

I would also check into a local support meeting or group for yourself too.

My heart goes out to you.....sending a hug and prayers.

[PatinValrico]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

Often times when there is a corporate buyout, a bridge insurance is offered, although it may be pricey. I realize it may be difficult, but try to take things one step at a time; collectively things are overwhelming. There are often support groups in the community that will give you a safety net and good counsel. As Lori said, we are right here for you, unconditionally. Prayers for you and yours coming your way.

[seaturtle]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

I wanted to let you know that I will be praying for you and your husband. And we will listen whenever you need to talk. I think looking for a support group is a great idea. Also, you may want to do some internet research before the visit with the oncologist, just to get some ideas for questions you may want to ask. It's difficult to think when your mind is racing. As for the insurance, there are options, but don't dwell on that until after you meet with the oncologist and have a plan of action. Best to take it one step at a time.

[DeniseSm]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

My heart goes out to you and your family. At least with Obamacare you won't be denied coverage because of a preexisitng condition.

[Hulamoon]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

So sorry for your bad news, I would tell the kids too. I lost all my family and had one aunt left, like a second mother. She kept her health a secret from me. She thought she was protecting me because I had two small children. She had several types of cancer and a pacemaker. I got a call from one of her friends asking when I was coming. I would of been there in a heart beat.

I flew over and spent the last three months of her life taking care of her and then going through hospice. I'm hoping you don't have to go through that and that's the reason I think you should tell them. It's not thinking the worst but what they or all of you would lose.

[LizTheScot]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

So sorry to hear you are going through this. I recently found out my father had cancer and I immediately started googling and checking websites - scared the living daylights out of myself until I talked to his very calm, reassuring doctor. A friend of mine has cancer and said she made a deliberate choice to not check websites and statistics - she wanted to deal with what was immediately in front of her and not know 'the worst'. I guess what I'm saying is, there is no right answer, just what feels right to you.
Have your list of questions ready for the oncologist visit. Take a notepad to write down answers if you can. If you have a smartphone, take it with you and tell the doctor you want to record the consultation (not sure if you have to ask permission in some states...) That way you can listen back to it because you won't remember it all, and it can also be helpful to have that available to share with family whenever you are ready to talk to them.

[Bernamom]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

My step-mother has non-hodgkins lymphoma. It is a type of cancer that stays with you, but can easily be put into remission with chemo and/or radiation. I would go online and educate yourself before you see the oncologist, so you can have a list of questions ready. If you don't understand something, keep asking questions until you do. Take lots of notes. This is one of the easier cancers to treat and since you say he does't show symptoms, they probably caught it early. Praying for good results for your family.

[sew-what2015]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

So sorry you got this news. I can't imagine the thoughts and feelings you are having right now. Hugs and prayers for all concerned.
Members here will support you and listen when you vent. It helps to have someone there to listen. My heart goes out to you and your hubby.

[beccavan1]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

Jocelyn,
I'm praying for your husband, you and your family. Hearing the "C" word when it comes to your family or yourself will be the absolute, most terrifying and horrible word ever spoken. I have been through "C" myself, and it's not easy, ever! I will pray and ask for healing for your husband.
Lots of hugs and prayers
Beck

[Momofmonsters5]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

No offense but Obama care is a joke, do your homework. I paid a penalty last year due to they said I didn't qualify unless I wanted to give half my paycheck. If you were my family is add you to mine through work. Good luck but e prepared!

[Cokie]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

First of all, I will be praying for you. Secondly, do you have an employee assistance program at work? They can help answer a lot of questions and do research for you if necessary. That might be something to keep in mind. Where I work, they will also pay for some counseling sessions in situations like this, to help you think more clearly or just to help you deal with your fears. Take a deep breath and take one day at a time. It's hard not to panic, but you will make better decisions when you can think more calmly. Sending you big hugs from Ohio. Praying for the "peace that passes understanding" for you and your family.

[JCY]

Re: Diagnosis cancer, please help

My heart goes out to you & your husb. As a nurse, I always want to know everything, so I definitely would be doing a web search of the reliable medical web sites. You might even find a list of questions to ask your dr. Sometimes there are organizations that offer financial assistance for treatment. I have a friend who was diagnosed with non-Hodgkin's lymphoma maybe 2 yrs. ago. She underwent chemo. & is considered cancer free now (or maybe in remission?). She responded well to the treatment. Of course, she lost all her hair. She wore the cutest hats rather than those scarves. Of course with men, baldness or shaved heads seem to be popular now. Thoughts & prayers for you & your family. Definitely tell your children. If you belong to a church, place your request on the prayer chain so people can be praying for you. One needs that support at a time like this. Keep us posted on how things are going. (((HUGS!)))