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  • WendyI
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Originally posted by mommadeb View Post
    my DGK's are all under 7. My kids are doing great. It is just that I am so incredibly homesick for them. I want to spend time with them more regularly.

    We have 6 DGK's here plus two that just moved to Denmark. The ones here, there are 3 that we never see because of family drama a few years ago and one other is with her dad every other weekend. The other two, the parents are so strict about everything that we can never spend more than a couple hours with them.
    That is so unfortunate...family drama is not fun. I know that feeling of missing loved ones for sure. It is not so easy to "replace" them in your heart for sure. I have had to work so hard to learn how to live without them and was doing great until my husband left. Now I struggle again with being alone and missing family while not being able to move because of my son. It really is a brutal situation to be in. Good luck with making your decision. (((HUGS)))

    Leave a comment:


  • mommadeb
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    my DGK's are all under 7. My kids are doing great. It is just that I am so incredibly homesick for them. I want to spend time with them more regularly.

    We have 6 DGK's here plus two that just moved to Denmark. The ones here, there are 3 that we never see because of family drama a few years ago and one other is with her dad every other weekend. The other two, the parents are so strict about everything that we can never spend more than a couple hours with them.

    Originally posted by WendyI View Post
    Sounds to me like more than anything you are feeling lonely. Do you have people in your life that can help alleviate that? I don't have grandkids but I can imagine if I did, I would definitely want to be near them...but at the same time, you have done your job and sounds to me like your kids are doing great out in the big world, and you are overall happy where you are living. Missing family seems to be a way of life these days. I have been away from mine since 1984 and do try and visit but it always seems to be me that is doing the visiting, which gets expensive. How old are your grand babies? Are they old enough to come and spend the summer with you and would their parents allow it? That to me seems the best option since really, you seem happy where you are.

    Moving is such a huge upheaval in life and if you make the wrong choice you can end up even unhappier. The grass is not always greener. I am a huge fan of lists....make a list of pros and cons...which it seems you already have. Now make a list of the ways you can combat missing your family and how to alleviate that issue.

    As a Canadian the only other advice I can offer is DEFINITELY wait until the election is over!

    Leave a comment:


  • mommadeb
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Very valid points. My oldest DD isn't sure where she wants to be yet. Maybe Colorado or Oregon. Middle DD is happy where they are at and my youngest would like to come over here.

    Originally posted by rebeccas-sewing View Post
    Doesn't sound to me like you should consider moving if you're so happy where you are. Joe and I love our girls but we agree that we do not want our lives to revolve around our children. Visiting them now and then will be good enough for us. If they decide they want their lives to revolve around us they can move nearer to us. That would be wonderful but we certainly don't expect that to happen. What happens if you come back and realize you made a mistake? You need to also think seriously about what the chances are that just visiting Iceland now and then will make you happy. We have friends whose parents left their beautiful home in San Francisco to move closer to their kids. Next thing you know the kids moved due to a job relocation after the parents went through all that upheaval of moving to be near them.

    Leave a comment:


  • mommadeb
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Strange huh? No pigs or cornfields but I still like Ames. That would be the exception for sure.
    Originally posted by kimsophia View Post
    I was kinda confused when you said you didn't want to be around pigs and cornfields but Ames was okay...the cornfields start near the city limits...I lived there... You lived up in CR, didn't you? I'm in Iowa City, now...

    Leave a comment:


  • WendyI
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Sounds to me like more than anything you are feeling lonely. Do you have people in your life that can help alleviate that? I don't have grandkids but I can imagine if I did, I would definitely want to be near them...but at the same time, you have done your job and sounds to me like your kids are doing great out in the big world, and you are overall happy where you are living. Missing family seems to be a way of life these days. I have been away from mine since 1984 and do try and visit but it always seems to be me that is doing the visiting, which gets expensive. How old are your grand babies? Are they old enough to come and spend the summer with you and would their parents allow it? That to me seems the best option since really, you seem happy where you are.

    Moving is such a huge upheaval in life and if you make the wrong choice you can end up even unhappier. The grass is not always greener. I am a huge fan of lists....make a list of pros and cons...which it seems you already have. Now make a list of the ways you can combat missing your family and how to alleviate that issue.

    As a Canadian the only other advice I can offer is DEFINITELY wait until the election is over!

    Leave a comment:


  • rebeccas-sewing
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Doesn't sound to me like you should consider moving if you're so happy where you are. Joe and I love our girls but we agree that we do not want our lives to revolve around our children. Visiting them now and then will be good enough for us. If they decide they want their lives to revolve around us they can move nearer to us. That would be wonderful but we certainly don't expect that to happen. What happens if you come back and realize you made a mistake? You need to also think seriously about what the chances are that just visiting Iceland now and then will make you happy. We have friends whose parents left their beautiful home in San Francisco to move closer to their kids. Next thing you know the kids moved due to a job relocation after the parents went through all that upheaval of moving to be near them.

    Leave a comment:


  • kimsophia
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    I was kinda confused when you said you didn't want to be around pigs and cornfields but Ames was okay...the cornfields start near the city limits...I lived there... You lived up in CR, didn't you? I'm in Iowa City, now...

    Leave a comment:


  • Monique
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    I know your decision, whatever it is, will not be made hastily. I wish you all the best, regardless.

    Leave a comment:


  • mommadeb
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Originally posted by snippet View Post

    What about moving to their city for just the summer and going to Iceland the rest of the year? Lots of people do that.
    I have seriously considered this option. We definitely will do nothing until after the election. That is for sure. My middle DD and her husband and kids just left to go home last week from here. My other DD's and DGS are coming at Christmas for two weeks. I'm not close to retirement yet. I'll be in the salt mines several years yet.

    If I weigh the pros and cons of moving, the only pros are seeing my kids and DGK's. The cons pile up. There is a lot of talk about reforming immigration laws here. We have a new president now and maybe I will just be patient. Depending on the president the US chooses, maybe my kids can come here a political asylum seekers! LOL

    Thanks for everyone's input. I greatly appreciate it and it really makes me feel better to get it off my chest. Ya'll are the best!!!

    Leave a comment:


  • Snip Snip
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Unless your kids and grandkids are begging you to move back to them, you might want to stay where you are. You can visit, write, call, skype, etc, to stay close to them.
    And they will have wonderful place to come visit you!

    Leave a comment:


  • bttyboopette
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    stay, stay, stay! don't put yourself in hardship (mental and monetary) if you don't have to.

    Leave a comment:


  • Monique
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    I really have no advice for you, as I have never had to make such a decision.

    My thoughts are to stay where you are, take a month's vacation and go stay with your kids and grandchildren for that whole month. It might be cheaper than trying to relocate. That's just my two cents worth.

    Leave a comment:


  • LauraP
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    I wonder if it wouldn't make more sense to save your money and visit the USA a couple times a year or fly the kids/grandkids over to see you. I live in Kansas and my kids and grandkids live in upper NY and AZ. I haven't seen any of them in over a year and probably won't until high school graduation this next summer. That's just something I have to deal with.

    Leave a comment:


  • snippet
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    Gosh, I wouldn't move. Iceland is a lovely place from all I've heard and from your description too.

    Where do your kids and grands live? Since you want to see them, I'd try to live as close to them as possible. Anywhere else, and you are going to have to make a trip.

    I've heard good things about the slow life in upper Michigan. I liked Minnesota when I've visited there, but visits are so different from really living there isn't it?

    If it were me, I'd stay. You have a good job, good healthcare, nice house payment. Save your money and fly to the kids to see them. Yeah, it's not as easy as living in the same city, but not knowing where they live I can't say if moving there would be worth it.

    What about moving to their city for just the summer and going to Iceland the rest of the year? Lots of people do that.

    Leave a comment:


  • Simply Quilting
    replied
    Re: Duluth, Minnesota

    There are lots of places in the lower 48 where the house payments can be $500 or less per month in a nice house. (We have actually lived in several.) If you are talking Ames, Iowa there is lots of growth of jobs and housing going on there and the Des Moines area. In Iowa, there is no tax on food but your property taxes are high to make up for no food tax. The weather can vary greatly from hot and humid in the summer to bitterly cold in the winter. Then there are the odd years that there is hardly any snow and the summers stay fairly mild.

    Lots of companies have had to make changes in both insurance and retirement due to changes in government regulations. If there is no huge hurry, I would consider waiting until after the election just to see how things turn out. I know several companies are waiting to see what happens in November before they decide what changes they are going to make for 2017.

    Leave a comment:

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