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    No thank you note rant

    I am usually the best person in the world when it comes to letting things go. Five months ago I made a baby quilt for my dh best friend's first grand child. My dh hand delivered it to his friend at a reunion I was not able to attend. Dh friend's wife (baby's grandmother) sent me an email with a photo saying he loves looking at the colors on the quilt. So I know it was delivered. These ppl all live about 800 miles away so we see our friends once or twice a year but do not really see their children. I am hurt that the baby's parents did not even send a thank you. Granted it was just a baby quilt, so not as much work as a full sized one, but still took me 4 months to make and it was all quilted by hand. The last time I checked you could still buy a thank you card at the drugstore that says thank you on the inside and all you have to do is sign it. My dh thinks I am overly sensitive about this. He is probably right but it really bugs me for some reason. Has this ever happened to you? The parents of the new baby are in their late 20's which to me is old enough to know better. Okay. Now I feel better!!

    #2
    Re: No thank you note rant

    I would estimate I get a written thank you note less than 1/3 of the times for quilts I gift. It seems it is no longer the custom. Times change. Oddly enough I feel more validated when I see them post the quilt on their Facebook page. Then I know they really liked it.

    Take pleasure in the giving, not in the acknowledgement.
    Stash Treasure Acquisitions Beyond Life Expectancy. My stash keeps me STABLE, oh yeah.... and dark chocolate.

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      #3
      Re: No thank you note rant

      When I moved here one of my best friends from high school back home had twins. Never got a note for two quilts. It hurt, but what can you do.
      🌺 Lorie

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        #4
        Re: No thank you note rant

        I'm more surprised when I do get a thank you note.
        Vonnie

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          #5
          Re: No thank you note rant

          I feel your pain. My cousin had twins so I made her two quilts. My mom gave them to her on a Friday evening. I spent the day with my cousin on Sunday and she didn't say a word of thanks. I thought maybe mom forgot to give them to her so I didn't say anything. Nope. She had them and didn't even give a verbal word of thanks. I will never give her anything again. I understand she busy but I fully expect a verbal thanks, or at least text later.
          Robin
          My Pinterest Page of the Quilts I've Made: http://www.pinterest.com/rwmomto3/quilts-ive-made/

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            #6
            Re: No thank you note rant

            Unfortunately, this seems to be a thankless society, esp. among the younger folks. Not everyone grew up with learning the social graces, writing thank you cards, etc. In the era of texting & e-mail, hand writing a note to someone rarely happens. I give baby quilts to all the new moms at my church. The lady in charge of the showers even announced that the moms they don't need to send thank you notes to everyone! I think that is rather thoughtless, when people spend their hard earned money on a gift, or like me, spend hours making a baby quilt & burp cloths. A couple yrs. ago I made 2 quilts for twin girls, flannel blankets, & burp cloths. I never heard one peep from her! (This was not someone from my church.) I was very disappointed. Ingratitude doesn't affect my joy of quilting, but it is disappointing. It seems to be the prevailing attitude in today's culture.

            And it's not just quilt gifting. It's true of grandchildren who don't say thank you for birthday or Christmas gifts. That's been a pet peeve of mine for years. When they turned 18 & graduated from HS, the BD & Christmas $ was discontinued. We still have 3 grandkids < 18; the same will be true for them.

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              #7
              Re: No thank you note rant

              Thanks I am glad I am not the only one on this soap box. When we were kids my Mom hijacked our presents and we couldn't even hold them in our hot little hands until we presented a handwritten thank you which had to be long enough, and grateful enough to suit Mom first. I am beginning to think this wasn't such a bad idea.

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                #8
                Re: No thank you note rant

                You know jj I went to my stepdd's house one year for Christmas eve (very nice) I slept over and when her four kids came out they just tore through everything without even looking at anything. She has so many friends that there was so much!. That was the last time I went. They could care less.

                When my girls were young they did the presents slowly and thankfully. I'm proud of that.
                🌺 Lorie

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                  #9
                  Re: No thank you note rant

                  I agree with you they are old enough and should have sent a note. I am a stickler on that with my kids, and always made them write notes for birthday, graduation, etc. A bout 2 years ago my daughter sent email notes to several people and 2 came back undeilverable, so she asked me for correct email addresses. I told her I thought I taught her better, and if they took the time to think about her and send her a gift, even if it was a check, she could darnwell think enough of them to hand write a note of thanks. She was a bit mad at me for a few days, and then told me I was right (mark the calendar), and that she bought a packet of note cards at the dollar store......and did I have any stamps? Lol-at least she wrote them!

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                    #10
                    Re: No thank you note rant

                    As a parent of 4 adult children, I still remind them when ever they receive gifts from people that they need to send thank-you cards. The girls are very good about it, the boys, well, at least they send texts. I was once at a baby shower for some young people and the new Father asked me if I felt they needed to send Thank-you cards, them not being my kids, I tried to think of a way to tell them yes with out being to blunt. I told them that I have saved everyone I received. However, I guess he didn't get the message, because I didn't get one from them. I was disappointed. When I had my babies, years ago, tucked in with a present from one lady was a package of Thank-You cards. At first I was a little offended but then when I realized how many I was going to have to buy, I appreciated them. Maybe we should start a movement and enclose a pkg. of Thank-you cards in with the gifts we give.

                    Kathy

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                      #11
                      Re: No thank you note rant

                      Originally posted by Mom23 View Post
                      I feel your pain. My cousin had twins so I made her two quilts. My mom gave them to her on a Friday evening. I spent the day with my cousin on Sunday and she didn't say a word of thanks. I thought maybe mom forgot to give them to her so I didn't say anything. Nope. She had them and didn't even give a verbal word of thanks. I will never give her anything again. I understand she busy but I fully expect a verbal thanks, or at least text later.
                      Wow........Robin, I feel for you. That was completely rude for your cousin not to say the words Thank You while you spent the day with her.

                      Sorry that happened to you, Joyceln. I guess as quilters we learn pretty quickly who is "Quilt Worthy" and who isn't.
                      "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

                      Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
                      Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

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                        #12
                        Re: No thank you note rant

                        When my youngest daughter was married, she sent thank you card from her honeymoon hotel. All of my friends called to tell me they had received the most wonderful note from her. Second daughter married, same story...people calling to tell me they received a wonderful note. I don't receive thank you notes and I am always disappointed. However, recently my husbands nephew was married and we received a lovely note from both the bride and the groom. I send notes for every gift I receive at Christmas...even to my own children and their children. I expect them from my children.
                        Two grandchildren have passed 21 and I haven't heard from either of them since age 18. I sent a wedding gift to the older one. No response. I don't gift them any longer. It is sad to leave them out of my life, but then, they apparently don't value my existence.
                        Walk in peace with the Lord by your side.
                        Terry

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                          #13
                          Re: No thank you note rant

                          I was the person who didn't say thank you or send a card. The social skills and manners my parents imparted were minimal to say the least. As children we weren't even taught to say please and thank you. I was in my mid 30's before I'd been around good people who helped me grow my manners and social skills and it still took a while to really get it down pat. I don't think this is just a problem with younger people. I have worked with people from 16 to 66 who are gracious and give a thank you for gifts and send a card or email. I have also worked with people from 16 to 66 who wouldn't acknowledge a gift if it was a thoroughbred horse wrapped in gold with $100 bills for a saddle. For years now I have given wedding and baby gifts which also contain a box of stamped thank you cards. I think of it as my way of saying sorry to all the people who were kind to me and I failed to acknowledge that kindness.
                          Grandmother would probably be mortified if she knew they didn't acknowledge the gift! If it's still bothering you then you could send an email to the grandmother. You could tell her you didn't hear from the parents and her email helped you to know that the gift was received and liked. It wouldn't bother me at all to get an email like that. I'd be calling my kid to make sure they sent a thank note and an apology for waiting so long.
                          :icon_happy:


                          sigpic

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                            #14
                            Re: No thank you note rant

                            It is very disheartening to discover people we know can be very rude. It's happened to me so I know how you feel.
                            Goodbye Europe! Hello California! Home sweet home.

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                              #15
                              Re: No thank you note rant

                              This always frosts me when I get no acknowledgement. My DIL is terrible about this, nothing ever said about gifts or monetary gifts. I also made quilts for two neighbors' babies. The one thanked me the other, nothing. But then 5 years later, that kid came to my house on Halloween, and his mom said, "This is the lady who made your favorite quilt!" A little late, but at least I found out the quilt was well loved!

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