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I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

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  • MaryUK
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Oh wow! I can't even imagine traveling so far. Your country is so vast whilst the UK seems so small in comparison!! I agree with all the other comments - just because you've done it for the last 10 years doesn't mean you have to do it for the next 10!

    Every year I used to hold a family get together the week before Christmas but after 8 years I had enough and told them they should take turns. Despite each of my five brothers having a go at me during the year I stuck to my guns and guess what - they are still waiting for me to hold the party 20 years later!!

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  • Cokie
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Doesn't feel like much of a vacation, does it? I live in Ohio and all of my family is in the western part of the US. Even flying, with layovers and the driving from the airports, it's a long day, and that's just me traveling alone. I have lived in Ohio for 33 years and each of my brothers has been to see me once. One came with my parents when my DH was in ICU and my oldest son was 2 years old, and the other was visiting a friend in the Air Force in Dayton and drove up and "surprised" me for a couple of hours. My parents aren't able to travel any more and haven't for probably about 10 years, but they used to come about once a year. Mom worked in a school and had summers, and Dad owned his own business, so he and his partner just worked out their vacations, so it wasn't difficult for them to take a few weeks off at a time. I work full time and it's tough to schedule those vacations to go visit people who don't come to see me...and sometimes it would be nice to have a real vacation with no obligations to keep anyone else happy!

    Sorry, RockinLou - I didn't mean to hijack your thread, but it hit a sore spot with me too and I can understand a bit of where you're coming from. I wish your husband a continued good recovery, and I hope your trip back overseas will be smooth and uneventful!

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  • bubba
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    My parents are both from South Dakota. The majority of our relatives live there. Every summer, my loaded up herself and the five of us girls and we rode the train there, with me puking the entire way. I dreaded the summers. Once, my moms twin brother brought his family out here, and one of her sisters brought her kids out here, but those were the only times anyone, other than the grandparents, visited us.

    When we were first married, we lived in Okinawa for a year, and I did not expect anyone to visit us there. We were then station in California and I can count on one hand the number of people who visited us in the four and a half years we lived there. We drove up every summer, and once we flew in the winter because his mom gave us tickets to do so.

    It is not your responsibility to run yourself ragged visiting everyone. If they want to see you, they need to make the effort too.

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  • RockinLou
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Originally posted by K. McEuen View Post
    I hear you on all the extra traveling. When I got to Texas, I usually stay with my oldest sister because she has plenty of room. SO my brother and other sister will say "You should come over." They both live within 60 miles of my oldest sister. I tell them "I just drove 650 miles, if you want to see me, you can drive over here!"
    I tried that after travelling 6,000 miles last year and only went to NJ, not CT... and one of my sisters didn't come because her kid had a soccer game.... this year the pressure was on from my mom to have all 10 grandkids together for a photo shoot... then she drank herself silly and left the party early.... but that's a whole other can of CRAZY ..... bottom line... NOT WORTH IT

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  • RockinLou
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Thanks all - DH has an excellent prognosis and medicines he needs to stay on, his recuperation has gone well!

    I don't think I'll be going there next year..... I just can't go through it all every single year...

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  • K. McEuen
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    I hear you on all the extra traveling. When I got to Texas, I usually stay with my oldest sister because she has plenty of room. SO my brother and other sister will say "You should come over." They both live within 60 miles of my oldest sister. I tell them "I just drove 650 miles, if you want to see me, you can drive over here!"

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  • Judy, USMC
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    I'm on the road all the time ... but I go from point A to point B so I travel to a destination. Your travelling made me dizzy! Yes, I agree, that's a lot of back & forth.

    I would enjoy a train trip. At least you can get some rest without worrying about traffic. But then again children have the tendency to get bored whether in a car or on a train or plane.

    Sorry I must have missed the news about your husband ... hope all is well.
    Safe travel to you & yours.

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  • Sandy Navas
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    First - I hadn't heard about your husband - so hope all is well.

    I'd come 'home' and settle and extend an invitation to anyone whom I would like to see and send them a list of B&Bs or motels close by . . . having lived as an expat for over 20+ years I can say that we didn't miss them much when they didn't show up either.

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  • jjkaiser
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Oh jeez I am exhausted just reading this! You are definitely off the hook for next year, and if your family wines about your not coming just tell them you can't afford it and it is their turn to make the trek to see you. And don't feel guilty about it! Sometimes when you do things repeatedly other people begin to look at it as "your job" and get their undies in a bundle when you want to have them take responsibility for some of these things. I have a friend in a similar position who always planned the annual huge family reunion every year and next year she doesn't want to have to do all the planning and scheduling etc and her family is up in arms about it because she has "always" done it.

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  • Lori63
    replied
    Re: I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    Wow! I don't blame you. I think I would be a little frustrated too with them not coming to see you.

    Leave a comment:


  • I survived another "vacation" with my family... now I'm exhausted

    I'm the oddball out in my family, I live in Kazakhstan most of the year, and keep a home in Atlanta, which we've owned for over 10 years now. It is a small and cozy townhome, perfect for our life choices. Except my entire family lives in NJ and CT.

    For ten years I've been travelling to them, kids and all. This summer I was supposed to be on a flexible, longer term road trip, which got cancelled when DH had a heart attack. He was not supposed to travel. My parents were going to come to me but my grandmother is in hospice care, and my Dad didn't feel he could leave her. So, I agreed to take the kids to him.

    That, of course, meant I need to take the kids to my sisters. So, last Tuesday we left ATL on an 8pm train, which got delayed when a woman went into labor and they had to have her removed in Wilmington, got into NJ 18 hours later (Wednesday afternoon) and on Thursday morning we drove to see my grandmother, then to CT. Add in 4 1/2 hours in the car for all that. Friday was to my other sister's house and back (plus 2 1/2 more hours round trip) and on Saturday we actually did NOT get in the car... AT ALL!! on Sunday we drove back to NJ (plus 3 hours this time, even though my crazy sister must drive 150 mph and never hit traffic at the Tappanzee because she claims it takes 2 hours) then on Monday it was cold and rainy so we cancelled the trip to the beach (which would have added another 3 hours in the car, round trip) and yesterday we left Newark again for another 17 hour train ride home.

    I needed to lay this all out to a neutral audience and say... isn't that a LOT of time in transit in ONE WEEK???

    We took the train because plans were changed so many times this summer, and it was cost prohibitive to fly. Even if we had flown, it's still a LOT of transit in a week.

    Oh, and for bonus points, we leave for Kazakhstan in 6 days.

    I told my parents this week that my daughter will be making her First Communion next summer and that we would like to have them come and visit us for that special event. I don't think we will go to NJ next year.

    My sisters, and their children, have never even offered to come here, despite the many invites I extend every time I see them. I know my kids love their cousins, but I don't think I can continue to do this annually..... I'm going to go take a nap!!!!
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