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Happy and rough week in one 😧

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    #16
    Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

    My thoughts and prayers for all of you who have gone through untimely losses. I guess we all have our stories, and so glad we have a place to feel comfortable sharing with each other and gaining comfort and virtual hugs. My father was a crime victim and held on for 8 years in a hospital bed with mom taking extraordinary care of him. I hope I am there for her the way she was there for him.

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      #17
      Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

      Originally posted by LauraP View Post
      My father died in between my graduating from high school, turning 18 and getting married. It was a traumatic 2 months but I remind myself that 1) he got to see me, his last child, graduate 2) he knew I was getting married and knew my husband to be and most importantly he picked the time to go. He sent us all, except Mom, to a family wedding where he knew we would have the support we would need. While we were gone he finally let go and climbed the stairs. He had had stomach cancer for about 2 years so it wasn't a surprise.
      When my mom decided to die she committed medical suicide. Instead of getting a police officer to shoot her she had some needed surgery (which went well) but she was determined she wouldn't make it off the operating table. Unfortunately, the doctor did not honor her DNR and we finally had to turn the machines off 3 days later. She called the entire family together to tell them goodbye while she was in the hospital and make sure we would all be alright. Unfortunately my sister, who finally told the DR to pull the plug, forgot what day it was so my mom died on my youngest daughters 21 birthday. Luckily my daughter was okay with it and claims Grandma Honey as her personal guardian angel.
      You might let your son read this bunch of posts. He might be able to comment on everyone else's stories and then gradually let out his own feelings.
      Remember, you are always in your husbands loving thoughts.
      That saying is true when you start to feel sorry for yourself there is always someone worse off than you. Your story is so much harder than mine. Both with your mom and dad. My hugs go out to you and your daughter glad she's ok with it. And i will let my son read these comments and hope it will help him. Mahalo and God bless.
      sigpicHawaiigrammi

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        #18
        Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

        I'm so sorry for your pain, Sandy. When my late husband Mike passed we had a house full of family. I was on the phone with my daughter and I felt something physical in my heart (like it was being torn out) and got off the phone knowing Mike was leaving. In spite of having people everywhere in the house I was the only one with him when he left. It was a blessing and a privilege to be there.
        sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


        Scottie Mom Barb

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          #19
          Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

          Sandy, so many things you wrote I have the same feelings, I too lost my husband , it will be 9 years in less than 2 months. But it was not on any of our 3 children's birthdays same day. So I do not carry that as you do. As you and I both know the hurt and the loss of someone we love so dearly and think we will get to grow very old with never goes away just we learn to tolerate it outwardly better.
          I am thinking of you and. Sending lots of hugs and shedding tears with you. Cherish all your memories.

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            #20
            Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

            Many hugs to you.

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              #21
              Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

              Hospice is such a great organization. When they came to my aunts house they asked if she wanted to stay home. She was so scared. I stayed with her three months. Most difficult time in my life. It's a good thing you chose them so you could be together. It makes it more comforting for all. (((Hugs to you))).
              🌺 Lorie

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                #22
                Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                Just saw this today...
                Definitely bittersweet, Sandy, but what a precious memory that you have

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                  #23
                  Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                  Sending you hugs today, Sandy. Hold on to your memories.
                  Cindy

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                    #24
                    Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                    Oh I am so sad for everybody in reading over these posts. I have had my share too but I don't want to get into that.Yes it is true death comes hard to family members who relive it in their heads and hearts many times even though they don't want to. I am all for having a pity party on the anniversary, you have earned it and it might bring you some peace. Feeling sorry for yourself at a time like this is not selfish. My heart goes out to all of you.

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                      #25
                      Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                      What a touching story, Sandy. Sending you hugs. My mom passed away in April on the 15th - tax day. She had a bit of a wicked sense of humor so I'm guessing she didn't want us kids to forget that day - like we ever would.
                      sigpicCarolyn

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                        #26
                        Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                        Today you need lots of hugs. (((()))). And prayers being said for peace of mind and heart for you and your son. God Bless.

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                          #27
                          Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                          My heart sank over each and every memory on this thread. Gosh we loved and lost so many great people haven't we? HUGS for everyone.

                          It helps to tell the stories, and it helps to read them. We aren't alone. We share more than just fabric and thread with each other.

                          When I was 11 we lived in Maryland. My mom had to fly home to Texas because one of her sisters was dying of cancer. I was mad because my 12th birthday was in a week and she wouldn't be there for it. Selfish I know, but I was 11. My aunt died on my birthday. It then hit me how selfish I was. My dad did his best to make it a good birthday for me. He took me to the mall and got my ears pierced. I fainted on the first ear stick, so they took the opportunity and pierced the second one while I was out on the floor.

                          Every year after that my birthday does bring me some sadness but I think about Aunt Ruby and how much we loved her and miss her. Please tell your son how important family is and that his day is a day of celebrating great lives lived - his and his dad's. And his dad is so very proud of him.

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                            #28
                            Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                            Oh Sandy my heart goes out to you and your family. Grief is a very personal thing and different for everyone. Your son has to do this in his own way, I'm sure he knows you are there for him. My Mom passed at age 53 after a 18 month battle with cancer. I rarely left her side. 12 days later my youngest daughter was born. God doesn't make mistakes and He knew I would have to have someone who needed me to survive my grief. It took almost 3 years to put my Mom to rest. I even went on a quest back to her hometown, never realizing I was letting her go. I live in SC, and was born in Buffalo NY. I planned to visit Buffalo, Mom's bestfriend, the house we lived in ect and finish with a trip to Niagra Falls on mom's BD. EVERYTHING was going wrong to stop me from going. After driving 100 miles from home I called me sister in law ( she was to help my husband with the baby while I was away), crying asking her should I come back. Her brother was involved in a horrible car accident the night before. She told me, God is sending you on the quest, you have to finish it. So I drove north through the remneants of a hurricane and followed my heart. Mom has been gone 23 years and I now think of her in heaven, healthy, pain free, and playing with all og the children there with her. It was a long journey for me to find peace. I will be praying that you and your son find the path to your journey.

                            All my love,
                            Liz
                            Keep the Faith

                            dizzyLiz

                            http://soundclick.com/share.cfm?id=1196342

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                              #29
                              Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                              Originally posted by snippet View Post
                              My heart sank over each and every memory on this thread. Gosh we loved and lost so many great people haven't we? HUGS for everyone.

                              It helps to tell the stories, and it helps to read them. We aren't alone. We share more than just fabric and thread with each other.

                              When I was 11 we lived in Maryland. My mom had to fly home to Texas because one of her sisters was dying of cancer. I was mad because my 12th birthday was in a week and she wouldn't be there for it. Selfish I know, but I was 11. My aunt died on my birthday. It then hit me how selfish I was. My dad did his best to make it a good birthday for me. He took me to the mall and got my ears pierced. I fainted on the first ear stick, so they took the opportunity and pierced the second one while I was out on the floor.

                              Every year after that my birthday does bring me some sadness but I think about Aunt Ruby and how much we loved her and miss her. Please tell your son how important family is and that his day is a day of celebrating great lives lived - his and his dad's. And his dad is so very proud of him.
                              This is a wonderful story made me laugh about you fainting picturing a person on the floor getting an ear pierced. On the other note sorry you had to loose her on your birthday.
                              sigpicHawaiigrammi

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                                #30
                                Re: Happy and rough week in one 😧

                                Originally posted by AlohaSandy View Post
                                Robin I feel the same way easier but never forgotten and yes kinda feel sorry for myself no one understands they say time to get over it , we had so many plans.
                                A giant hug to you, and pardon my language, but anyone who said the bolded part to you about your sadness can suck it. There are no time limits on love, or on grief.

                                I'm having my own crying spells at every "first since" or "first without" regarding my father's passing right before this past Christmas. I was in the ER Friday, and the admitting lady asked me if my emergency contact was still my Dad. I actually feel sorry for the woman because I started crying immediately, and I know she felt awful about it. It just hit me like a punch in the gut, and took me by surprise.

                                Hugs again, my friend.

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