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    #16
    Re: Need some job advice!

    Originally posted by WendyI View Post
    like Monday when my ex dropped of almost all the rest of my stuff that was in storage using his girlfriends truck or when he opened our trailer that he was supposed to be selling and didn't).
    Originally posted by WendyI View Post
    To be fair, my words were to him, "Get me my stuff! I have been asking since December! Your girlfriend has a truck use it!"
    Ok, not to jump to his defense or anything, but I have to call you out on this. You told him to use it. Men are most times very literal. You can't say "Well common sense tells you..." and expect him to do what you would have done. He got you your stuff. The fact her used her truck and it hurt you is on you. Stop giving him the power, which is what Kaydee is basically saying too.

    As far as the job, if you think you are up to it and it won't jeopardize your existing position, then go for it. But if your manager that you have the talk with thinks it isn't that great of an idea, listen to her/him and don't get upset at their answer. They have been very good to you and I don't think they would steer you wrong.
    K is for Karen ๐Ÿ˜Šโ€‹..................
    Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.


    Before you speak,
    T - is it TRUE?
    H - is it HELPFUL?
    I - is it INSPIRING?
    N - is it NECESSARY?
    K - is it KIND?

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      #17
      Re: Need some job advice!

      Nothing ventured, nothing gained. :-)
      https://forum.missouriquiltco.com/co.../icon_wave.gif
      Women are Angels.
      When someone
      break's our wings
      we will continue to
      fly...usually on a
      broomstick.
      We're flexible like that.
      - embroitique

      Comment


        #18
        Re: Need some job advice!

        I believe in living a stress free existence and urge you to do the same. Retiring from my job at 911 after 31 years was the smartest thing I ever did! Do I miss the $$?? Yes! Do I miss all the grief?? NEVER!!!

        If you were to take this job and find a month in that these people who are so great to work with as coworkers are not so great to work with when you are their supervisor, how would that work? Would they let you demote back down then and there or make you do the job for 18 months?

        If I were you and were getting by fine on what you are earning now, I'd stay right where I was. I'd also put a lien on that trailer (assuming it's also in your name) so you might get something out of it sooner or later. Matter of fact, if it's in your name, maybe you can sell it!
        pat.

        No rain....no rainbows!


        sigpic

        If you can't be nice.....BE QUIET!

        Comment


          #19
          Re: Need some job advice!

          Originally posted by bubba View Post
          I believe in living a stress free existence and urge you to do the same. Retiring from my job at 911 after 31 years was the smartest thing I ever did! Do I miss the $$?? Yes! Do I miss all the grief?? NEVER!!!

          If you were to take this job and find a month in that these people who are so great to work with as coworkers are not so great to work with when you are their supervisor, how would that work? Would they let you demote back down then and there or make you do the job for 18 months?

          If I were you and were getting by fine on what you are earning now, I'd stay right where I was. I'd also put a lien on that trailer (assuming it's also in your name) so you might get something out of it sooner or later. Matter of fact, if it's in your name, maybe you can sell it!
          That's a good point. When I worked at the hotel there was a really likable head cook that applied for one of the sous chef jobs. He got it and then everyone treated him different, some badly. I was friends with him and since I was in the bakery he felt free to talk to me. If you think that might happen maybe it might be too soon. I wouldn't want to see that extra stress on you.
          ๐ŸŒบ Lorie

          Comment


            #20
            Re: Need some job advice!

            Wendy,
            There was one thing I noticed in the comment to Kaydee that maybe you should think about. It's the comment about your EX talking to you thru your son Liam.....You shouldn't do this. You should never burden a child ( even an adult child ) with adult issues. If you are talking out loud about your ex in Liam's presence, I would advise you to stop.
            I am sure that you are very hurt over what happened to you with your EX, but move on. Find a new hobby. Maybe there's a class in your area that you can take. Volunteer. You should find something new to do where you would make new friends.
            There really is life after a divorce etc. ( My sister can attest to this, she has been divorced 3 times ! ) .....
            Make a list of new things you want to do in your life, and start your life anew.

            Last but not least, get a cheap spiral notebook and start writing down your feelings each day. Getting your issues out on paper is really good for you !
            Take care.....
            ((((( BIG HUGS )))))
            Jacqueline ( Sugar ) Dorer-Russell
            http:\\www.sugarssmilinpapercrafts.BlogSpot.com

            "I miss the me I was when you were here"

            Comment


              #21
              Re: Need some job advice!

              I must say that you CANNOT be talking thru Liam. Its not his separation! He cannot be held to this level of parenting. Get your act together. Stop using your love as a crutch. He is GONE. Move on. Stop the madness. You are creating your own stress. Divorce is never fun , but It just doesn't have to consume you. Why would you want someone that doesn't want you.

              Comment


                #22
                Re: Need some job advice!

                I agree with Sugar. Don't involve him. My parents divorced really eary in my life, I think under two. I saw him evey weekend after that, of course I don't remember. But when got older she talked bad about him and got stuck in the middle.
                ๐ŸŒบ Lorie

                Comment


                  #23
                  Re: Need some job advice!

                  GO FOR IT!! I know you can do the job.
                  Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!

                  Comment


                    #24
                    Re: Need some job advice!

                    I would apply.

                    But.

                    Do not be discouraged if you don't get it.

                    If you do get it and start to feel overwhelmed, remember all that you have been through and that YOU.ARE.STILL.HERE.LIVING.AND.BREATHING. And you'll get through this job too because it's just 18 months.

                    I hope you get the job!

                    Comment


                      #25
                      Re: Need some job advice!

                      Someone wrote "perhaps the university will want to have you take some classes to get the necessary degree. Why wouldn't they?"

                      Don't know about Canada but here in US college employees and their family members can take several courses a semester at almost no cost. That's how DH and I finished getting our degrees. Unfortunately our sons had already finished college and grad school by the time I got my job at the college.

                      Good Luck to you with whatever you decide to do.

                      Comment


                        #26
                        Re: Need some job advice!

                        Here's my 2 cents and I'm not judging you in anyway .. Everyone responds to situations differently. My forever husband was suspended from work (unfairly) for a week ... He needed weekly counseling to overcome the rejection he felt. I left my first husband over 9 years ago..he pretended he was upset but within 2 months of our separation was on Internet dating sites and seeing different women. We weren't divorced! So my decision to leave was right. Didn't make me feel any better. So I took a year off .. Just went to work, took care of my daughter and rejected any well meaning friends suggestions of potential dates. When I changed jobs, I met my now forever husband. I needed that year to be open to new possibilities, accept possible rejection and still be ok with myself.
                        If you want this new job ... You need to be ready for the company to say no. Or if you get the job, you need to be strong enough to tell them I will do new job but I won't do new job plus my previous responsibilities. And in 18 months ... Are you going to be ok with not being the in charge person ...?
                        Only you in your situation can answer what's best for you... Because that's what it comes down to. What is best for you.. I wish you all the best .. Divorce is just ugly .. No matter how awful the marriage. Whether you find the new perfect job or a new husband or new home ... The best thing you can do is take care of yourself first. Sounds selfish but truly it's not.. Because when your insides are healthy you can take on anything!! Wishing you only the best
                        Life ainโ€™t always beautiful
                        But itโ€™s a beautiful ride - Gary Allen

                        Comment


                          #27
                          Re: Need some job advice!

                          I wish you all the best in all of this. I definitely wouldn't want to be in your shoes. The way I see it, it looks like a great opportunity for you to move on personally and professionally. You appear to be tying all your self-worth on this jerk of a husband. After someone did that to you and treated you badly, discarded you so easily - why would you pine for someone like that? And, most importantly, when you are crying over things he did, what are you showing your son? That you miss your ex and really would like that relationship back even though he treated you like dirt? You might be unintentionally teaching your son that it is ok to be a man/husband/ like his dad was.
                          The other thing I would suggest (being on the professional side myself), is what someone else said, get complete honest approval and the go-ahead from your boss as to whether they think you would be a good fit for this job. So, with that approval only, if you go for the job; be ready to go for it 100%. If you get into a few months or so and feel it isn't right for you or you have to take off work again for anxiety, I'm sorry but you will look worse and more incompetent to your boss. If you are ready to completely go for it, I think it would be the best thing for you, but you have to be ready to put your personal stuff aside and devote whole-heartedly to this job (of course, your son too). Oh yes, please don't put Liam in the middle of your personal battles. Easy to do when we are emotional, but very hard for them to recover from. Best of luck to you in your decision. This is a big turning point in your life.

                          Here are a few encouraging quotes:
                          Keep moving forward, you can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

                          3 Simple rules in life: 1) If you do not go after what you want, you'll never have it. 2) If you do not ask, the answer will always be No. 3) If you do not step forward, you will always be in the same place.

                          Moving on doesn't mean you forget about things, it just means you have to Accept what happened, and continue living.

                          Positive anything is better than negative nothing.

                          Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.

                          The first step toward getting somewhere is deciding that you are not going to stay where you are.
                          I am Sew Blessed!
                          Alina

                          Comment


                            #28
                            Re: Need some job advice!

                            Originally posted by redcaboose1717 View Post
                            Wendy,
                            There was one thing I noticed in the comment to Kaydee that maybe you should think about. It's the comment about your EX talking to you thru your son Liam.....You shouldn't do this. You should never burden a child ( even an adult child ) with adult issues. If you are talking out loud about your ex in Liam's presence, I would advise you to stop.
                            I am sure that you are very hurt over what happened to you with your EX, but move on. Find a new hobby. Maybe there's a class in your area that you can take. Volunteer. You should find something new to do where you would make new friends.
                            There really is life after a divorce etc. ( My sister can attest to this, she has been divorced 3 times ! ) .....
                            Make a list of new things you want to do in your life, and start your life anew.

                            Last but not least, get a cheap spiral notebook and start writing down your feelings each day. Getting your issues out on paper is really good for you !
                            Take care.....
                            ((((( BIG HUGS )))))
                            Originally posted by grammaterry View Post
                            I must say that you CANNOT be talking thru Liam. Its not his separation! He cannot be held to this level of parenting. Get your act together. Stop using your love as a crutch. He is GONE. Move on. Stop the madness. You are creating your own stress. Divorce is never fun , but It just doesn't have to consume you. Why would you want someone that doesn't want you.
                            Ok...first...my ex was not an a$$hole. He loved me but is having a mid-life crisis and THINKS that this is what he wants now - I love you but I'm not IN love with you crap. Maybe one day he will wake up and realize what he has lost but by then it will be far too late...it is already. I would likely not take him back now as much as I still love him. We do not hate each other, but in order for me to move on and heal, I need to not have him in my life. Do I have periods of anger? Absolutely! Do I say things to him I shouldn't? Of course. Which is why it is so important for me to have my things and be able to cut ties with him as much as possible.

                            Second... I NEVER talk about my ex in front of my son, and would NEVER bad mouth his father to him EVER. I value their relationship and would NEVER, EVER take that out away from my son. When I say that his dad can communicate through Liam it's about things like, can he stay an extra night, or does Liam need a new pair of shoes. Liam is old enough to have that conversation with his dad. His dad doesn't need to talk to me about it. If there are urgent things, like Liam is in trouble or sick, then I would of course have no choice but to speak to his father. If there are issues revolving anything to do with parenting, then we will have a discussion. However, it will be as little contact as possible because it is what I need to be healthy and take care of my emotional well-being.

                            As for the divorce "consuming me", as someone who suffers from depression and anxiety, "moving on" is not always as simple as just that. I work very hard every day to manage my symptoms and not let them overwhelm my life. My ex was my best and only friend, as well as my partner in life. I was blind-sided by what happened and it has been incredibly painful to realize that he didn't love me as I thought. I am doing so much better now but I do have days where things are difficult. He knows me well enough to know that using her truck, even though I suggested it in anger, would hurt me...but he felt it was worth it to get me my things. Fine. I am happy to have my things but I have a right to be hurt when episodes like this happen. I cried. I dealt with it. And now I'm trying to move on. Once these things are done, I will be fine.

                            Comment


                              #29
                              Re: Need some job advice!

                              I take back what I said about taking on this new job if it is available for you. I don't think you are ready to take on anything like that. From the sound of it, you are not over your ex and are still very emotionally attached; obvious when you make excuses for him and don't see his faults; only his good traits. Sorry to be so harsh, but I'm rolling my eyes here. We ARE trying to help you!
                              I am Sew Blessed!
                              Alina

                              Comment


                                #30
                                Re: Need some job advice!

                                Well Wendy....you certainly got lots of opinions! I don't have one, I just want to say that you should do whatever feels right for YOU!

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