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    Calling All Grandmas...

    ...or anyone else for that matter!

    I was wondering with all the knowledge, and Grandmas with lots of Grandkiddies, on here someone is bound to have some thoughts(hopefully) on this...
    I have a baby who just won't sleep. I mean he even hates to nap in the day. At night he goes down and seems to sleep ok at the start of the night maybe for 2-3 hours, then is up almost EVERY HOUR after that! I am beyond tired and really REALLY need some sleep. My mother came to help for a little bit but even then she couldn't take him a t night. That helped but I have now not had a full night of sleep for 10 months or so(I was quite ill at the end of my pregnancy).
    Can anyone help? I just don't know what to do.
    Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.-Robert Louis Stevenson

    #2
    Re: Calling All Grandmas...

    My son was like that when he was little. I finally just got to the point where I would let him stay awake until he finally went to sleep and I slept when he did. Of course I only had the one so it was much easier than if I had more than the one to contend with. When I finally decided to go with his schedule He would be up at 6-7 in the morning, nap about 15 minutes in the afternoon, and be up till 2-3 in the morning. This was after I just let him wear himself out and at this point I felt I was getting some sleep. Part of the reason he did this I think was waiting for daddy, my hubby has always worked 24 hour call so he would go and come at all hours. I think our son would force himself to stay awake so he could see daddy. I tried everything, turning off the tv, lights, letting him cry it out, but he would quit crying after a bit and just play in his crib. I was afraid to go to bed with him awake even in his crib, because he was getting old enough to start trying to crawl out of it. I always said I didn't get any sleep until he started school. Even then we had to fight with him to get him in bed at a reasonable time. When he got to be a teenager and even now he would sleep all the ime if he had a chance. I talked to my doctor about it and all he would tell me is he will sleep when he gets tired and sleepy. Now he's fighting with his daughter every night to get her in bed, pay backs aren't fun. LOL
    Mary
    A bed without a quilt, is like a sky without stars:)

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      #3
      Re: Calling All Grandmas...

      Oh sorry! my oldest never napped. She did sleep a longer bit at night, but only cat-napped during the day. The whole"sleep while the baby sleeps" never worked for me!
      how old is your baby? If he is still a newborn it will take a while for him to get into a routine. And don't forget, a nursing baby will want fed more often because mama's milk digests quicker than formula and he will be hungry. if he's older, can you keep him from taking short naps so when he does sleep he will sleep longer? easier said than done, I know. Hang in there, it does get better.(I had 5 in 7 years)
      “What we do for ourselves dies with us. What we do for others and the world, is and remains immortal.”

      ― Albert Pine

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        #4
        Re: Calling All Grandmas...

        Txgrandma I'm the same I can't sleep if he is awake!

        bakermom he is 5 months today!
        He really IS adorable, but I'm just so pooped! Trying to nap when he does is not that easy, sometimes I manage but yesterday for example by the time I was just about to fall asleep he woke up!
        I am hoping when he gets more solid food he will be fuller longer. I will see what the doctor at the clinic says tomorrow.
        Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.-Robert Louis Stevenson

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          #5
          Re: Calling All Grandmas...

          Sad to say there is absolutely nothing you can do to change a child with this type of body clock. The best you can do is make sure they get lots of fresh air and space to run off some energy but it won't make a lot of difference.

          My son was the same as Mary's, never slept in the daytime and only about 3-4hrs a night. At somewhere around 8-9 months I put his cot mattress on the floor so he couldn't hurt himself trying to climb out of his cot and made sure there was nothing he could hurt himself on in his room but I was always awake the instant his little feet hit the floor anyway. He'd go to bed around midnight and be awake and ready to play around 4am. Sometimes if I was lucky he would come snuggle in my bed, that way I at least got to doze for another hour or so.

          When he was 18 months old the doctor suggested I put him in day care and go back to work, I thought he was nuts but he reasoned that I was so wound up that my tension was feeding back to the little one. He was right to an extent and going to work gave me a breather even if I was still very tired. LOL, the funny thing was that I had the CAFHS (Child, Adolescent and family health service) outreach service calling me regularly to see if I was managing...I think they were really checking I hadn't killed the kid. It was two years before he slept through a night and when I woke at around 7am I panicked as I thought something had happened to him. It did improve slightly over the next few years but even at school he was a problem as he always had too much energy to sit still in a classroom. Now as an adult he likes to sleep but can easily go without sleep for extended periods of time without thinking about it.

          I'm sorry I can't help with any truly useful advise other than to take any breaks that are offering to you. This is simply how your child is made and it is a lot more common than most people realise. After my son I swore there would be no more and there weren't, I just couldn't face another one like that, it was such a shock after my daughter who slept through at six weeks and was so easy going.
          Lynn

          "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain" Anonymous.

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            #6
            Re: Calling All Grandmas...

            I don't know your financial situation but if you can afford it you might consider hiring a sitter to watch your baby a few hours during the day to give you a chance to take a nap. That might help until he gets into a better sleeping pattern. If you are breastfeeding only you might consider supplementing with a bottle at night. There is absolutely nothing wrong with doing that. My first daughter just wasn't getting enough with the breast-feeding so we supplemented and that definitely helped. I feel so sorry for you. That's a long time without getting proper sleep. I assume you've talked to your pediatrician about it. What does the doctor say?
            Goodbye Europe! Hello California! Home sweet home.

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              #7
              Re: Calling All Grandmas...

              Hello!
              I had three children in 4 years, and I can tell you each one is different! I had one child that was a real stinker about sleeping. And yeah, the whole sleep while the child sleeps is a myth. I have yet to meet a Mom who can actually do that.
              I tried everything to get mine to sleep from rocking, to drives in the car, to warm baths - supplementing with some baby cereal mixed with mother's milk - the one thing I learned from it all - go with the flow.
              I doubt there is any medical reason why this is happening. I had a rough first pregnancy as well and he was way preemie, so, I can understand your exhaustion. Prayers being said for a good night's sleep - like our precious sister Lynn said, when you do get a full night, you will be worried! LOL.
              Blessings to you
              Blondie

              PS - I don't think anyone ever really sleeps good until all her chicks are grown and out.
              Sewing mends the soul.
              sigpic


              Do the math; count your blessings
              Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

              http://pinterest.com/vintageprims/boards/ Unless we are creating we are not fully alive
              ~ Madeleine L'Engle

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                #8
                Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                My first one was so easy. When Odie (the Marine) came along 17 months later, he would only sleep for 2 hours and up for most of the rest of the 24. I was exhausted. After a year, I took the bottle away and he slept thru the night. I figured he was just a hungry baby. When he started driving I was worried that he would fall asleep behind the wheel cause everytime we got in the car he was out in about 2 minutes. It was a total turnaround once I took that bottle away. I too, though, that he wanted to be awake that first year cause he didn't want to miss a thing his brother was doing.
                It does get better but in the meantime I will pray for your sleep. I think it's a good idea if you can have someone come in during the day to watch him while you take a much needed nap. If you can't pay them, perhaps it can be something else you can do for them in return like a barter thing.
                Hugs,

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                  #9
                  Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                  I am not sure I have any really good advice or suggestions, but maybe he is hungry. Giving him a little cereal at night won't hurt him. I would give that a try.

                  Good luck. I hope you find relief soon.
                  Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!

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                    #10
                    Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                    I would certainly check for things like him being hungry but there really are children who do not need to sleep and there is absolutely nothing wrong with them. And trust me they have very little concern for their poor mothers who are dying from sleep deprivation.

                    LOL, I don't suppose his name is Michael by any chance. I had a lovely old lady tell me that I would regret naming my son Michael and you wouldn't believe how many boys named Michael I have come across who are all tarred with the same brush when it comes to characteristics and behaviour. I love him with my life but the lady described him to a tee and he was all of 3 months old at the time.
                    Lynn

                    "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass....it's about learning to dance in the rain" Anonymous.

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                      #11
                      Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                      I can well imagine how tired you must be - my kids slept kind of OK, but I was still exhausted at the end of the day and couldn't wait until they fall asleep.
                      Did your figure out what he wants when he wakes up at night? Eat, play, diaper change, comfort? Could he be teething? Does he have a "lovey" toy or blankey to hug at night?
                      When kids are couple months old they can learn to soothe themselves. Everybody has phases of deep and lighter sleep during the nigh and your son probably wakes up during the light phase and can't soothe himself back to sleep. Our doctor told us to try "tough love" approach - let them figure out the way to fall back to sleep by themselves even if it means let them cry for half an hour. It was really hard the first couple days, probably more for me than for them, but they learned and then we never had a problem with falling asleep.

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                        #12
                        Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                        Kilted Quilter, how awful for you! No wonder you are exhausted. I agree with all the feedback already given. It is good you will be talking to the pediatrician about it. He can rule out any physical cause. But for now, take what help is offered and ask for it when you need it. Sleep when he sleeps...the housework will be there tomorrow. And remember that when you are at wits end 'this too shall pass'. Mothering is hard work and extra hard when you aren't getting enough sleep. Keep the faith and spend some of that wake time doing what 'fills up your cup'!

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                          #13
                          Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                          I am not a grandmother...yet. I did have a daughter that didn't sleep more than 20 minutes night or day for her first 2 years! She had an older sibling and it was tough. I tease her that if she hadn't been so cute, I would have given her away, but we all know that is a lie! You will survive, but it is hard. Try to arrange for sleep any way you can.....at least once in awhile. I carried my daughter in a sling a lot and even took her to bed with me, if the need arose. We spend a lot of time reading, taking walks, just being together.....no stressful extras for her first 2 years. Fresh air, good mama's milk, lots of loving....and patience and prayers.....got us through. She is a young adult now that sleeps just fine and is super productive. God makes them all different and you gotta love them to pieces! Remember...this too will pass. Good luck!

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                            #14
                            Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                            Best advice I've read so far, try cereal and get a sitter. Wish I could add anything but I think Lynn is right, you just don't have a sleeper. Hang in there, you have my sympathy.
                            There's still time to change the road you're on - Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"

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                              #15
                              Re: Calling All Grandmas...

                              Thank you all(Grandmas or not!) for your kind words. I am going to ask my mother back for a little bit and see if I can't get a tad more sleep during the day. I just feel very tired and emotional a lot of the time, hard when I am trying to run a household too. You are all right though, I know this will all pass. Just a bit rough when living through it.

                              Dragonfly No he's not called Michael! LOL

                              alicaz he seems to mostly want to eat, either that or comforted. He's not very good at "self soothing" so I might just have to try your "tough love"!
                              Don't judge each day by the harvest you reap, but by the seeds you plant.-Robert Louis Stevenson

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