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Almost Adopted

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  • Mchelem
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Originally posted by mary3100 View Post
    I think it is terrible that the court would do this to a small child. The grandmother is too old to raise him. If God wanted children to have old mothers we wouldn't have given them the change.....Any way my mom and dad adopted a grandchild and had the means to hire a nanny. That girl did not have a traditional family upbringing. They had no business being able to adopt a small child. She was pampered and spoiled. The courts are screwed up and not taking the best interest of the child first. It is wrong, so sorry for your family.
    I'm sorry, but I have to disagree with your generalization. Not all 50 years olds are too old to raise children, and some women don't have the change until well into their 60's.
    I had the opportunity to be a surrogate for a woman who was 48 at the time, and is now 51 and her 3 year old is smart, well cared for, and definitely loved, and her 51 year old mother has no problems raising her.

    And if you want to bring religion into it, God gave Sarah a baby at 90 years old...

    Granted, in this case, the grandmother has an ill husband to take care of and it's probably not best for this child, but that doesn't mean that older people can't raise children.

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  • Mchelem
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Double post.

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  • rebeccas-sewing
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Cyndi, I know that you are a very religious person. I hope that you will look to God and know that he has a plan for this little guy. Hopefully, knowing this you will find some comfort in letting go. This is a heartbreaking situation. At this point, all you can do is try to look at the positive side of this. Your family has given this child a year of love and a year of security that he might not have had otherwise. Try to focus on what you've given him. I'm sure she is aware that you want this child to be a permanent part of your lives. From what you say she seems nice so I'm sure she understands the sorrow you all are experiencing. Have you left the line of communication open to her in case she changes her mind? I'm sure you all have made this clear to her that you'd take him back in a heartbeat. It's very possible she may give him back to you. Time will tell. If not, just pray that she gives him a good and happy life. That's all you can do. As I said God has a plan for this little man.
    Last edited by rebeccas-sewing; March 31, 2014, 04:27 AM.

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  • sewbizzy
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Cyndi, I am sending prayers for your family...I can only imagine your sorrow...please know we are all here for you...

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  • redcaboose1717
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    WOW....I can't imagine why this woman would want to remove this child from your DD's care......Especially due to the fact that there's no other family she can lean on in case she has to care for her DH .
    I think there's an underlying cause here.......An extra Social Security Check perhaps ? My oldest son adopted 3 siblings 7 yrs ago, and he still receives payments from the state that they were adopted from.....of course my DS is 38 yrs old.

    I think that "money" is maybe the factor here ? IF so, that's really sad.....
    It would also be sad if this little guy is taken from your DD and 3-4 yrs later returned.

    I know people really want to do what's best for the children they adopt, but this open adoption process has to be really confusing for a child.....I have known many adoptees, and most of them that have been adopted under this "open adoption" concept say that it is VERY confusing....not to mention that the child sometimes "pits" the adoptive parents over the bio parent.
    Guess I am old fashioned. See nothing wrong with telling a child that they were adopted, but if I were to adopt, there would be no open adoption....I just think from what I seen it is too hard on the kids.....

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  • MRoy
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Cyndi, I'm so sorry that little C and all of you are going through this. Praying for you all. (((HUGS)))

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  • SallyO'Sews
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Oh, my dear, I am so sorry for the pain you are enduring. Know that we are praying for you all. May our Heavenly Father wrap you all in His loving arms, and hold you close. Blessings, my friend. ~ Sally \0/

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  • cyndiofthevortex
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    It will be another long day here and I'd better get used to it. I go to sleep crying and wake up crying. Bethany and James do, too. C is not coming home until tomorrow and I worry for him. This whole transition is going to put him under so much stress. It took months before he was able to feel safe and secure here with us. Before that he had never in almost 2 years lived in the same place with the same people for more than a month at a time.

    He does have a Guardian Ad Litem, but she is only one of a team deciding C's future. I believe she is a vote to allow him to stay here, but family pretty trumps everything here in New Hampshire and it's deemed in the child's best interest to grow up with family, even family they hardly know. If B and J were able to adopt him, Sue would have all access to him. The birth family of B's two sons see them pretty much whenever they want, once or twice a month for dinners out, movies, picnics or visits to the beach. They are included in their lives at every turn. Sue knows this.

    It will be a long month saying goodbye. And then the pain really starts as we adjust to life without this precious child. God help us all.

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  • Jean Sewing Machine
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    So sorry, Cyndi, for you and Bethany and kids and for precious C. This situation sure needs a lot of prayers poured on it for all concerned, especially the little one!

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  • Grandma G
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    This is so incredibly sad and upsetting. I wondered about a couple of things. Is the grandmother the mother of little C's mom or dad? And had Bethany been allowed to adopt him would Grammie Sue have been allowed to still be a part of his life? It just seems like if would have been such a better situation for Grammie Sue to be a grandmother to C and not an "again mother". I can only pray that Grammie Sue rethinks the whole situation and comes to realize what is truly best for C. My prayers for all of you.

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  • EmmaB
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    Prayers coming your way.

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  • Bubby
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    This is really the heartache of being a foster parent, isn't it. I'm so sorry this has happened. I pray that God will give you the right words to comfort your daughter and that all of you will find peace with this situation. ((Hugs))

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  • Carol336
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    {{{{{{Cyndi, Bethany, C}}}}}} How heartbreaking for you all. I'm hoping and praying that when the gmom see's how much little C misses his Mommy, she'll have a change of heart and let Bethany adopt him. It's just so sad for that little boy to be put in such a horrendous situation. Prayers for you all Cyndi.

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  • HandsOffItsMine
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    (((Cyndi & Bethany))) our hearts ache for you and the family. You know our personal story and we have been concerned about C's emotional reaction to all of this too.

    Don especially is concerned that this last minute change is the work of the imprisoned father. That he's will eventually take over the parenting when he gets out even though it might not be official. Do you know when he's due to get out? I sure hope he has decades to get out.

    Is it possible to get a child's advocate or attorney to speak on C's behalf like someone suggested? To have him asking Bethany for protection is too much for anyone to hear without crying that knows him.

    Cyndi, know that Don, Kat, Matt and I have all of you in our prayers, especially little C. I'm giving you a big cyber hug and know that I'm thinking of you throughout the day to give you strength.

    Prayers and Huggers, Ruby

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  • Suzette
    replied
    Re: Almost Adopted

    I am so, so sorry for the pain and grief being inflicted by this grandmother all the way around. When I hear stories like this, it just breaks my heart, especially for the child. I can't help but feel that the grandmother is thinking more of herself and less of the child to rip him from the only family he has ever known and cause such turmoil, pain and confusion for all concerned. It feels very selfish to me. She could have been a part of this child's life without doing this to him and your daughter and the rest of her family. But it's not my place to judge, you didn't ask for judgement, just prayer. And you have mine. God bless your family and this child and may He bring you all peace and comfort in the coming months.

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