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    #16
    Re: Almost Adopted

    This actually makes me very angry! I don't understand why after all these months she waits until one month before the time is up to come forward to take this child away from the only family he's really known. She is not thinking of the best interests of the child in my opinion. I hate the way children are just tossed around as though they are a possession instead of a human being with feelings. Just because she's a blood relative doesn't make it right that she should take this child away from you. If she decides she can't handle him and wants to give him back to foster care will you be informed so you can continue on with the adoption process? That would seem the sensible choice rather than just throwing him back into the system for someone else to foster.
    Goodbye Europe! Hello California! Home sweet home.

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      #17
      Re: Almost Adopted

      I agree Rebecca, where was she and what was she thinking for eleven months? But, with the system the way it is, my bet is that he would be sent elsewhere.

      I just pray that she will come to her senses this weekend and realize that the best place for him is with Bethany. She could she play the "grandma" role in his life, as she should. After all, all children are supposed to have two grandmas anyway. You are one and she the other. Does she live far from you?

      I am so sorry you are all having to go through this, please know that I am standing with you in prayer for the best resolution to this situation.


      (((HUGS)))
      Last edited by dwil23; March 29, 2014, 01:46 AM.
      Donna

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        #18
        Re: Almost Adopted

        This is heartbreaking.... It seems it me, that if the grandmothers really wanted the best for little C., she would acknowledge that she may not be the best position to be raising an active toddler.... Not when he was being loved and cared for by a young, healthy mom.
        She should have just continued in the traditional grandmother role... The way most if us grandmothers do.... It would have bern so much better for everyone.... especially C.. How can she care for an ill husband and a toddler? Doesn't she care that her actions have out this little boy in danger of going right back into the foster care system? Is that what she really wants? I don't think the grandmother has thought this out... No matter how lovely she is, her circumstances aren't all that great in terms of raising a child...

        What a terrible grief for you and your family....especially your daughter.... No wonder the tears will not stop.. I am so sorry this has happened.......


        Sandy from Cincinnati


        AKA Kermit

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          #19
          Re: Almost Adopted

          I think it is terrible that the court would do this to a small child. The grandmother is too old to raise him. If God wanted children to have old mothers we wouldn't have given them the change.....Any way my mom and dad adopted a grandchild and had the means to hire a nanny. That girl did not have a traditional family upbringing. They had no business being able to adopt a small child. She was pampered and spoiled. The courts are screwed up and not taking the best interest of the child first. It is wrong, so sorry for your family.
          Have a Sewonderful Day,
          Mary T.

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            #20
            Re: Almost Adopted

            I am so, so sorry for the pain and grief being inflicted by this grandmother all the way around. When I hear stories like this, it just breaks my heart, especially for the child. I can't help but feel that the grandmother is thinking more of herself and less of the child to rip him from the only family he has ever known and cause such turmoil, pain and confusion for all concerned. It feels very selfish to me. She could have been a part of this child's life without doing this to him and your daughter and the rest of her family. But it's not my place to judge, you didn't ask for judgement, just prayer. And you have mine. God bless your family and this child and may He bring you all peace and comfort in the coming months.
            Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

            Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!

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              #21
              Re: Almost Adopted

              (((Cyndi & Bethany))) our hearts ache for you and the family. You know our personal story and we have been concerned about C's emotional reaction to all of this too.

              Don especially is concerned that this last minute change is the work of the imprisoned father. That he's will eventually take over the parenting when he gets out even though it might not be official. Do you know when he's due to get out? I sure hope he has decades to get out.

              Is it possible to get a child's advocate or attorney to speak on C's behalf like someone suggested? To have him asking Bethany for protection is too much for anyone to hear without crying that knows him.

              Cyndi, know that Don, Kat, Matt and I have all of you in our prayers, especially little C. I'm giving you a big cyber hug and know that I'm thinking of you throughout the day to give you strength.

              Prayers and Huggers, Ruby
              sigpic Visit my fabric shopping cart YardageALaCarte.com - PM me for a 25% Off your Total Purchase Code, just mention "The Forum" in your message. Huggers, Ruby

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                #22
                Re: Almost Adopted

                {{{{{{Cyndi, Bethany, C}}}}}} How heartbreaking for you all. I'm hoping and praying that when the gmom see's how much little C misses his Mommy, she'll have a change of heart and let Bethany adopt him. It's just so sad for that little boy to be put in such a horrendous situation. Prayers for you all Cyndi.

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                  #23
                  Re: Almost Adopted

                  This is really the heartache of being a foster parent, isn't it. I'm so sorry this has happened. I pray that God will give you the right words to comfort your daughter and that all of you will find peace with this situation. ((Hugs))
                  sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


                  Scottie Mom Barb

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                    #24
                    Re: Almost Adopted

                    Prayers coming your way.
                    Sharon

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                      #25
                      Re: Almost Adopted

                      This is so incredibly sad and upsetting. I wondered about a couple of things. Is the grandmother the mother of little C's mom or dad? And had Bethany been allowed to adopt him would Grammie Sue have been allowed to still be a part of his life? It just seems like if would have been such a better situation for Grammie Sue to be a grandmother to C and not an "again mother". I can only pray that Grammie Sue rethinks the whole situation and comes to realize what is truly best for C. My prayers for all of you.
                      Gerri

                      Life may not be the party we hoped for, but while we are here we might as well dance.

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                        #26
                        Re: Almost Adopted

                        So sorry, Cyndi, for you and Bethany and kids and for precious C. This situation sure needs a lot of prayers poured on it for all concerned, especially the little one!

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                          #27
                          Re: Almost Adopted

                          It will be another long day here and I'd better get used to it. I go to sleep crying and wake up crying. Bethany and James do, too. C is not coming home until tomorrow and I worry for him. This whole transition is going to put him under so much stress. It took months before he was able to feel safe and secure here with us. Before that he had never in almost 2 years lived in the same place with the same people for more than a month at a time.

                          He does have a Guardian Ad Litem, but she is only one of a team deciding C's future. I believe she is a vote to allow him to stay here, but family pretty trumps everything here in New Hampshire and it's deemed in the child's best interest to grow up with family, even family they hardly know. If B and J were able to adopt him, Sue would have all access to him. The birth family of B's two sons see them pretty much whenever they want, once or twice a month for dinners out, movies, picnics or visits to the beach. They are included in their lives at every turn. Sue knows this.

                          It will be a long month saying goodbye. And then the pain really starts as we adjust to life without this precious child. God help us all.
                          Cyndi


                          “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” - Victor Hugo

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                            #28
                            Re: Almost Adopted

                            Oh, my dear, I am so sorry for the pain you are enduring. Know that we are praying for you all. May our Heavenly Father wrap you all in His loving arms, and hold you close. Blessings, my friend. ~ Sally \0/

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                              #29
                              Re: Almost Adopted

                              Cyndi, I'm so sorry that little C and all of you are going through this. Praying for you all. (((HUGS)))
                              *~* Myrna *~*
                              *~* Quilters lead pieceful lives *~*

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                                #30
                                Re: Almost Adopted

                                WOW....I can't imagine why this woman would want to remove this child from your DD's care......Especially due to the fact that there's no other family she can lean on in case she has to care for her DH .
                                I think there's an underlying cause here.......An extra Social Security Check perhaps ? My oldest son adopted 3 siblings 7 yrs ago, and he still receives payments from the state that they were adopted from.....of course my DS is 38 yrs old.

                                I think that "money" is maybe the factor here ? IF so, that's really sad.....
                                It would also be sad if this little guy is taken from your DD and 3-4 yrs later returned.

                                I know people really want to do what's best for the children they adopt, but this open adoption process has to be really confusing for a child.....I have known many adoptees, and most of them that have been adopted under this "open adoption" concept say that it is VERY confusing....not to mention that the child sometimes "pits" the adoptive parents over the bio parent.
                                Guess I am old fashioned. See nothing wrong with telling a child that they were adopted, but if I were to adopt, there would be no open adoption....I just think from what I seen it is too hard on the kids.....
                                Jacqueline ( Sugar ) Dorer-Russell
                                http:\\www.sugarssmilinpapercrafts.BlogSpot.com

                                "I miss the me I was when you were here"

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