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Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

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    Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

    Howdy all,

    Now that we have had Sawyer home for a couple days I thought I'd give an update. Things are going well. Little man seems to be a pretty relaxed baby and isn't making things too difficult for us. He mostly just eats, sleeps, and makes funny faces and hand gestures.

    Mom is still healing up nicely. Trying to keep her from overdoing things is a full time job though. She was very relaxed about the pregnancy while I was stressed about every little detail but now we have kind of reversed roles and she gets worked up about little things while I have calmed down and as long as the baby seems happy, I'm happy.

    We've taken him to the pediatrician and they said he looks good. He is still down slightly from his birth weight but he is eating well and the doctors said as long as he is back to birth weight (or greater) by the next visit that there is nothing to worry about.

    Now for a little rant I need to get off my chest: I'm trying not to be upset about something that happened the other day but in my sleep-deprived state this is really eating at me. A friend texted me in the morning and asked if she could come see the baby and bring us dinner. After a few texts were exchanged, she offered to come over at 7pm and bring us some Chinese food for dinner. At about 7:20 she called to say that she was about to order the food and it would be a little after 8pm by the time she would be here. We are of course very tired and had tried to plan her visit so it would not interfere with his feeding schedule. We told her to just come over and not worry about the food. She did come over and brought her 14 month old which I had to babysit while she played with my baby. Then after she left about 8:30 I had to go try to find something for us to eat as we had not planned anything because all day we thought she was bringing us dinner. I feel like this was incredibly rude. I didn't ask her to bring dinner, she volunteered to. I know things take longer when you have kids but she has been a mom for over a year and should be able to plan how long it will take to get her own kid dressed and ready to go. Since she hadn't even ordered food yet almost half an hour after she was supposed to be at our house with the food I know that it was not a case of a last minute diaper change or something which held her up. We were polite when she visited that evening but now she keeps texting wanting to come back over. I don't really want her here. She is not a bad person but I don't think she understands that bringing over a 14 month old for me to watch while she cuddles my baby is not "helping me" and if she can't be trusted to arrive when she said she would or with the things she said she would bring that also makes things more difficult on me. I am unsure why she can't see this herself?! Anyway, it is not worth losing a friendship over but I do not think she will be getting invited back over for a while and I feel like if she figures out that I'm ignoring her and asks why I am probably going to tell her. [Thanks for listening to me whine.]

    Anyway... My baby is sweet and beautiful and cuddly. Here are a couple of pictures:

    Here he is in his cute "sweater onesie" his aunt and uncle (my brother and S-i-L) got him.

    Here he is in his car seat with the "Mini Cooper" blanket his great aunt gave him.

    Here he is sleeping in his bouncy chair.
    Loosely based on a true story.

    Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

    Ryan thank you SO much for the Monday smiles! Mini Cooper is the cutest lil' man! I just LOVE him!

    Don't let well meaning friends/relatives/neighbors disrupt the peace you've got going on in your home during your time of adjustment. They will push as far as you allow. Put the brakes on, in as nice a way as possible: "sorry, this just isn't a good time" "Baby's sleeping" "Wife's sleeping" "You're welcome to bring dinner, but we're not really up to a visit yet".....

    I know. Easy to say, difficult to do.

    And did I say you've got the most precious little baby in the entire world???

    Quilters make great comforters.

    Friendship is sewn with love and measured by kindness.


      Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

      Oh he's absolutely gorgeous. My babies all cried so much. They didn't stop crying until they were about 3 years old. I didn't recognise them in a non-crying state. I must have been an awful mother! Sawyer looks so peaceful.

      I think I'd feel the same way about the 'friend'. People seem to soon forget how tiring those first few months, or longer, can be. Or they just pretend to not realise how tired you might be. The last thing you want is a lively toddler who's probably got germs from nursery in the house.


        Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

        I have to agree with the above as far as visitors are concerned. I understand she also has a small child . But that was just plain rude in my book. First to have not ordered dinner till well after she should have been at your home. and then not to bring something anyway, figuring the time it was you had not eaten as you were expecting her with food. I just don't understand people sometimes.
        Keep that wonderful peace going within your family, there will be plenty of time for *friends* to see after you have established routines. Keep to your rules and don't sway.
        Mini Cooper is just an adorable and happy looking baby, bless you and your wife for doing good. He is a great morning smile maker. Thanks for sending me off to work with a big fat ear to ear smile on my face!
        sigpic:icon_hug: Iris Girl = April = fabric, Fabric FABRIC!!
        Time spent with cats is never wasted.
        Sigmund Freud


          Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

          Good morning Ryan. Sawyer is indeed a beautiful little boy. I think your friend was rude. I think you should tell this friend next time that it is not the right time for a visit.
          Blessed are the children of the piecemakers for they shall inherit the quilts!


            Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

            Sawyer has to be one of the cutest babies ever! I love his Mini Cooper blanket. Don't let your 'friend' disrupt your household. Also, be patient with Tabitha - huge hormonal fluctuations happen after giving birth. She may be feeling a little overwhelmed.

            Scottie Mom Barb


              Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

              Sweet pictures of the little guy

              Sorry about the friend....she sounds like she needs to read the what not to do when visiting a new baby to the family. Yes, someone blogged a very nice post about the dos and don'ts of visiting a family with a new baby. It was a good post.


                Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                What a beautiful baby! I wish I could come snuggle him. But alas - it is too far and too cold - so here's your virtual snuggle.

                About Mrs. HandsomeRyan - she is going through a lot of changes in her body, and hormones, emotions are running high, as you can probably guess. Every little thing used to send me into a tizzy, and my son picked up on my 'upsettedness' and he'd get cranky, then I'd get crankier, and well it was a bit of a viscous circle... what helped me was for someone to take over for an hour or so the rocking, snuggling, breathing, burping, diaper changing 'mom' duties so I could sleep, pee, eat, or just think. Hopefully she'll become more confident in her mothering abilities and she can relax some.

                About the rude friend(s) - Just say NO! "We've decided no visitors after 6 pm" or "No children under 5 years old" or "No stupid inconsiderate friends who offer a meal then show up empty handed" or just plain old "NO Visitors" while we get our family routine going. You're allowed to make those decisions on a case by case basis - but my suggestion is if you want to honor your family time, draw a box around it and protect that like you're protecting the castle riches (because you are!) If they really want to help you out, they can make a casserole to put in the freezer to be eaten at a later date. Or name your favorite take out place and say - gift certificate... If you can manage it, have a few meals in the freezer that you can throw in the oven. I know it's a chore/job to do that -to think past the next nap, meal, diaper change - honestly it will settle down. We went through a lot of Kraft Mac & Cheese, Pizza, and Salisbury Steak when Henry was a baby. He grew up just fine in spite of our efforts.

                Hugs to you all!
                Kathy Crofoot


                  Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                  I was always worried about germs when my son's were babies. People just want to kiss them and they don't realize how many germs are in a simple kiss. And what really gets me is some people think it's okay to kiss a baby on the mouth. I never allowed anyone to kiss my babies on the mouth. A simple kiss on the top of the head was acceptable. And they don't think about washing their hands first. Argh!

                  When they got older - like tottler stage, I did not worry about it so much because their immune systems were tougher. But newborns! And total strangers were the worst. I really did not like taking them out in public because total strangers would want to see how strong a grip their little hands had. I always admired a baby from afar so not to get germs on them. Unless the parents asked if I wanted to hold the baby.

                  I love the nickname - Mini Cooper! How adorable. But, it will be funny if he grows taller than Dad! One of my brothers was named after an uncle and he was called little and uncle big but uncle was only 5'9" and little grew to about 6'4"!

                  Keep the pictures coming! Love to see how he's growing. My son's are grown now and in their 20's. Oldest is 29 and neither son has a serious girlfriend let alone a baby!


                    Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                    Oooh, he is so cute and cuddly! Love the 'mini cooper' blanket!!

                    As for your friend, yep, she was rude and thoughtless, but it sounds like you handled it with grace and patience. And venting is good when things are bugging you and this is a great place to come among friends and do just that! It gets it out so you can let go and move forward.
                    Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

                    Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!


                      Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                      Ryan, he is so darling! I hope Mrs. Cooper can get through the rough days post partum without too much difficulty. You are good to be a calming factor.

                      About the friend, what a unthinking person she is! You were hungry and she offered to feed you, then she came empty handed! How crazy rude is that! And bringing a toddler to see a newborn seems nuts. Just hold off with the visits from her for a while. You don't need that kind of stress or that sort of friends!

                      Good luck to you and Tabatha in the upcoming weeks, and thanks for the updates! I just saw a Mini Cooper ad on TV, and immediately thought of you and your little one!


                        Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                        Happy to see new photos of the sweet little guy. My nephew and his wife said their doctor suggested for them to keep their newborn away from people for at least 2 months so maybe that will be something you could say to well meaning but inconsiderate friends.


                          Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                          Oh Ryan, Sawyer is so precious. Glad you are all home and doing well. You can always say you are both just too tired for company, when your "friend" calls.
                          Shirley :icon_bigsmile:


                            Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                            Ooooooo he is SO CUTE!!!!!!

                            People are annoying, and some are just dense. Just tell this girl that you have a NEWBORN and are not up for visits yet.

                            You actually get more and more tired for the first few months as the lack of sleep starts to really take it's toll. If she can't remember that, just tell her!


                              Re: Cooper Family Update 2/24/14

                              I think sometimes people don't think about how tough it is on first time parents to get used to being a first time parent. This friend has had 14 months to get used to a baby, and we all "forget" the new baby days pretty fast ( otherwise I don't think most of us would have a 2nd,,3rd,or 4th baby......)
                              I don't think it would be a bad thing to just gently say to your friend " We are really pretty tired right now. The baby has kept us up for more hours than usual. Please check back in a week or so. "
                              Sure, she might not like this....but.....Quite frankly, I would never call someone, offer to bring theme dinner and not arrive with it. Actually, I wait a couple of weeks, then call and ask to drop a dinner over. I come in, set up the dinner, talk a little about the baby, and then LEAVE. I also never took my children with me when I did this either ! .
                              One thing I learned AFTER our first born came. During the last 6-8 weeks of my 2nd pregnancy, I made frozen dinners for us. ( I would cook a casserole etc. ) I had about 10 frozen meals for us to use, which was nice. I didn't have to worry about cooking if I didn't want to ( although the kid's dad was a great cook ) ....
                              I also did a lot of different things when I was pregnant with the 2nd baby. I started purchasing diapers around my 3rd month of pregnancy. I purchase 8-10 pks of newborn diapers, and then every other week purchased a pack of the next size ( I never purchase the larger diapers, my kids were all potty-trained by their 14th-15 th ofo life.

                              Don't worry so much about cooking at home right now.....It might be best that you plan on getting some frozen meals that you enjoy or go out and pick up something.

                              I always purchased a 2nd gallon of milk and froze it. You don't have to open it, just put it in the will keep for 6 months or so. When it is unthawed, just shake the gallon jug a little and put it in the fridge.

                              I will admit first time parenting is a little overwhelming ......there will be days when Sawyer will have "growth spurts" which means he will want to eat more than what his schedule calls for. Some babies get their days and nights turned around too....
                              Wanna hear a funny story ? Our 4th child, our son Jordan, was a breast-fed baby ( as were my other kids ) and each night he would get up ( this started when he was about 4-5 months old ) and nurse, and his dad would always get up with me and watch night DH put in a Pro-Bowling tape that he had taped the Sunday before. Our little Jordan was fascinated with the tape!! Within a few days, he wanted to watch that tape after he nursed with his dad. After the bowling tape was over, he would go right back to sleep !!! This went on for months and months ( DH would tape a different bowling show each week ) ......We all thought this was hilarious !

                              Just enjoy your time with baby Sawyer. Soon, before you know it he will be off to Kindergarten !! We always rocked out babies to sleep, and read to them every night too......They are little very long....I really enjoyed being a mom after I got out of the stage of trying to be a PERFECT first time MOM !! ( Yes, believe it or not, I boiled Jeremy's bath water for 2 yrs !! .....That kid was the most disinfected kid on the planet !.....Sort of like the newest LUVS Diaper commercials with the women who has the kid that wants to hold her baby use the sanitizer ? Well, Ryan, honest, that was ME .....
                              After the 4th child came....things relaxed.....and believe me, just take things easy......

                              Good luck, and thanks for the photos of Sawyer Ryan, he is soooo cute !
                              Last edited by redcaboose1717; February 24, 2014, 07:39 AM.
                              Jacqueline ( Sugar ) Dorer-Russell

                              "I miss the me I was when you were here"