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    No adoption

    A child my daughter (who suffers from infertility) has been planning to adopt has at the last minute been claimed by a grandmother. He has been living with us for the past 10 months and is a solid part of our family. This grandmother, for 10 months, has consistently said she was so happy that Bethany was going to be his forever mom. He is 2 1/2, was abandoned by his mother and his father is in jail, and Bethany is the only mother he has ever known. How will we say goodbye to him? How will he understand where his family has gone? How do we explain to his two older brothers, ages 6 and 7, why he has to leave us? Why did she wait until he had completely stolen our hearts to claim him? We have no answers. Only tears.

    This morning I had a period of time when my chest hurt like I imagine a heart attack feels like. It was like someone was squeezing the life out of my heart.
    Cyndi


    “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” - Victor Hugo

    #2
    Re: No adoption

    Oh my heart aches from reading this. Prayers to your family including that precious child.
    Thank you,

    Ginny K

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      #3
      Re: No adoption

      That is so heartbreaking. I can't imagine the pain. I'm sooo sorry for all of you.
      My friends call me Peggy
      The government calls me Mary Margaret

      Proverbs 13:22 A good person leaves an inheritance for their children’s children.

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        #4
        Re: No adoption

        I don't understand why people do the things they do. I can only imagine the heart break you are all going through and what does this do to that little guy. Will they let you all keep in touch with him? So sorry you are going through this heart breaking time and pray just maybe things will work out for all in the end.
        sigpic
        Hugs Ann

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          #5
          Re: No adoption

          Oh Cyndi! I cannot begin to imagine how heartbroken you must all be. People can be SO selfish and cruel! I'm so sad for your family. :'( ((((((((HUGS))))))))) Adoption can be so unfair sometimes.

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            #6
            Re: No adoption

            Cyndi, I am so sad for you and Bethany. I know you all know the best thing for this child would have a safe and stable home such as Bethany's to grow up in, with you and your DH as proud and nurturing grandparents. I know your heart must be breaking now. That must be the complete downside of fostering children, saying goodbye when they are taken away. So sad!

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              #7
              Re: No adoption

              Prayers are going your way. How long before courts put the childs welfare before the biological family? After this much time has passed; yours is the only family that should be considered for the child.
              Judy :icon_wave:
              Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good, to those who are the called according to His purpose.

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                #8
                Re: No adoption

                Originally posted by tennesseesews View Post
                Prayers are going your way. How long before courts put the childs welfare before the biological family? After this much time has passed; yours is the only family that should be considered for the child.
                The biological family has one year to claim a child. We support family reunification and all but two of our 21 foster grandchildren have gone home to birth family members. But to be 10 months into a 12 month adoption time period? Bethany is even reconsidering whether she can be a foster mom anymore, her pain is so great. They will take a month to transition him from our house to hers.

                And to answer another question, it would be too confusing for him to continue to see us after the transition. In order for him to be happy and secure in his new home, he has to forget about us. We will hear reports on how he is doing (so the grandmother says right now) but that may just keep our wounds open and fresh. There is no easy way out of this heartache for any of us. And we know the pain is just beginning.

                Sometimes I just don't understand why God allows some things to happen.
                Cyndi


                “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” - Victor Hugo

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                  #9
                  Re: No adoption

                  This is so sad and I'm so sorry. Hugs and prayers....Barb
                  sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


                  Scottie Mom Barb

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                    #10
                    Re: No adoption

                    This is so tragic, words escape me. I will keep you all in my thoughts and prayers.
                    Courage is being scared to death, and saddling up anyway. ~John Wayne

                    Quilting is my passion . . . chocolate is a close second!

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                      #11
                      Re: No adoption

                      I have no words to add about this very, very sad happening, prayers for your DD and family as well as the little boy, may his grandmother take good care of him.

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                        #12
                        Re: No adoption

                        Originally posted by MayinJerset View Post
                        may his grandmother take good care of him.
                        We know she will. She loves him. She is a good woman. She knows she is hurting us, and she is sorry about that, but she feels this is the best thing for Christian. And maybe it would have been the right thing for her to do earlier in the process. It is just too late for there not to be confusion, pain and sorrow for this little boy.
                        Last edited by cyndiofthevortex; February 13, 2014, 12:32 PM.
                        Cyndi


                        “Have courage for the great sorrows of life and patience for the small ones; and when you have laboriously accomplished your daily task, go to sleep in peace. God is awake.” - Victor Hugo

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                          #13
                          Re: No adoption

                          Sending prayers your way, Cyndi...feeling very sad for you and your family!
                          Carol

                          Sewing Mends The Soul ~ Author Unknown

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                            #14
                            Re: No adoption

                            My heart breaks for you and your family. I have always said someone who fosters children are God given. I'm sorry the grandmother didn't say anything sooner. That is completely unfair to everyone involved. Sending prayers for you and your DD. May God bring your family peace during such a difficult time.
                            ~ Tracy

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                              #15
                              Re: No adoption

                              Oh Cyndi.... This is so terrible! You and your family must be heartbroken... Our prayers are with you all.... Keep us updated....


                              Sandy from Cincinnati


                              AKA Kermit

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