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The Hardest Day

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    The Hardest Day

    First of all thanks to all of you who have bern supporting me through this whole journey.... You don't know how much I have appreciated your epididymis of encouragement, prayers and pm 's.

    Yesterday had to be the hardest of my life.... I had to say goodbye to my sweet partner of over 46 years....

    My children were wonderful.... They did so much to make the day one if celebration. My gift was the service, which I planned.... I am experienced at planning liturgies, so that's what I did.

    I did take an Ativan.....so I would be able to sing with my music group when it was time for their special sing. We have been working together for years, so it was easy to pick up my part(I had not practiced with them).

    My entire quilting club came.... I was so glad to see them....

    There were a lot if people, so it was gratifying to know how loved and respected my husband was... When people were given an opportunity to speak, there were a lot if good things said about Earl, as well as some good stories.

    Our church provided a nice luncheon for the family and close friends.... They packed up the leftovers for us to brung home.

    a small miracle..... There were pics of us celebrating our 45th anniversary last January 20th.... Believe it or not, we were wearing the same clothes we had on at the funeral.... I wanted to wear a new red sweater, but had been unable to find anything I lined, so I decided to wear my old one. ... My two kids chose what their father wore.... We were all blown away.... I don't believe in coincidences...

    There were so many things that happened in precisely the right way over the past week.... It has been easy to see God's hand in everything....


    My heart feels as if it has been broken in two.... But, I told Earl that I would see him in "the morning", so I will hold on to that promise.

    Today will be busy with details..... They never seem to end.... Bit, T the same time, I am dreading the time when nothing else needs to be dine....and I am left alone in this house.....where I see his touch everywhere....where I still expect to hear his voice, or see him sitting in his fav chair...in his fav room, watching Duck Dynasty.... The tears come and go.... I know...from when Mom died, to expect what are called "grief bursts"....usually when I am lone in my car....

    Thank you all again.... Quilty friends are the best!


    Sandy from Cincinnati


    AKA Kermit

    #2
    Re: The Hardest Day

    Sandy,
    I'm so glad things went smoothly for Earl's service. I love that the two of you were both wearing your anniversary clothes...I'm totally sure that was meant to be. Try taking one day at a time and let yourself feel what you feel. Grief bursts are healthy and may happen for a few years. After 7 years I finally stopped having them over the loss of my husband Michael. Grief is a part of life and we all grieve in different ways and for various lengths of time. We are here for you, Sandy. Big Hugs to you, Barb
    sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


    Scottie Mom Barb

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      #3
      Re: The Hardest Day

      Sandy, so sorry for your loss. Sounds like you have a great family and wonderful friends. My prayers are with you and your family.
      Mary
      SW Missouri


      Smile and the world smiles with you, frown and you frown alone.

      Comment


        #4
        Re: The Hardest Day

        Sandy, thank you for updating us. I can only imagine what your going through. I still have my husband so those who have lost theirs can truly relate to what you feel now. I am glad you have family and friends there for you and of course all of us on this forum.
        You need to mourn and in time you will find a way to live your life in a new normal way.You have many years of good memories and your husband will always be in your heart.
        May God comfort you and give you inner peace in the next several weeks.
        Take care and God Bless.
        sigpic
        Hugs Ann

        Comment


          #5
          Re: The Hardest Day

          Sandy, my heart is breaking for you. Even those of us that have been through losing a spouse can not know how the next one to go through it will feel. I pray that you will get through each day with a smile over something you remember he said or did. Let the tears flow when they will. Like it says in my signature: "The soul would have no rainbows, if the eyes had no tears."

          Donna
          MSQC: Where Strangers become Friends and Friends become Family!

          "The soul would have no rainbows, if the eyes had no tears."native American wisdom

          sigpic

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            #6
            Re: The Hardest Day

            Sandy........it is good to hear from you.......I was thinking about you yesterday. I'm glad Earl's service went well and that you were able to sing with the group. Hugs and prays to you still.
            "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

            Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
            Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

            Comment


              #7
              Re: The Hardest Day

              Oh Sandy, my heart, thoughts and prayers go out to you. I am so very sorry for your loss (((Sandy)))
              Finished is way better than perfect! :icon_bigsmile:

              Comment


                #8
                Re: The Hardest Day

                Sandy, I too have been thinking about you so much this weekend. Havi g walked down the path of losing a spouse after a long illness, I rewalked those days in my mind thinking, " Now Sandy is facing this...then that..." I too am a church musician and I know how important music is to bring your mind to the right space. I'm glad you were able to sing at this very important event, and to hear the testamonies of friends and family about Earl. These are memories that you will relive over and over throughout the months and years ahead.

                I know what you mean about facing the future with the memories. God will give you the strength to find your way. And let the tears flow when they come, they are healing tears, bringing your heavy heart relief from the burden of grief that you are carrying now. It takes time, but you will survive. Just look forward, with backward glances to the good times and happy memories of the past. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: The Hardest Day

                  Sandy,
                  I have kept you close in my heart as so many others here have as well. You know that there is really no amount of time given for grieving this kind of loss. It is different than losing a parent, a child, a pet. Each has their own type of grief. This was your mate. Your other half, the sharer of your deepest self.
                  Take all the time you need sweetie. We are here and will continue to pray a hedge of protection around your heart and mind.
                  Big hugs.
                  Blondie
                  Sewing mends the soul.
                  sigpic


                  Do the math; count your blessings
                  Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

                  http://pinterest.com/vintageprims/boards/ Unless we are creating we are not fully alive
                  ~ Madeleine L'Engle

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: The Hardest Day

                    Sandy, thank you for sharing this...I don't know how you made it thru singing...when beautiful music starts, I just can't stop crying..it is something I've always struggled with, but realize it's only because the words and tune make us realize just how wonderful life and faith is! I spend a lot of my days "near tears" with a struggle that's on going, but wanted to share something.. When my Dad died,(the most handsome and giving guy , ever) I managed to deal thinking that he's always right there on my shoulder watching over me..with the little money left behind I bought my first "embroidery machine"..everytime I use it, I think of him! Hugs, Barbara
                    "Each day well-lived and Happy;
                    that's all there is to Life!"

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: The Hardest Day

                      Sandy,
                      I am fairly new to the forum, but my heart and prayers go out to you and your family during this very difficult time!

                      God Bless
                      ~ Connie ~

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Re: The Hardest Day

                        Sandy,
                        I'm happy to hear everything went so well. Hold on to those wonderful memories and God bless you and your family. You are in my prayers.
                        Shirley :icon_bigsmile:

                        Comment


                          #13
                          Re: The Hardest Day

                          Sandy, you remain in my thoughts and prayers. Grief is a process that is unique to each of us. Let the process happen as you move forward with the wonderful memories you have of Earl. It's so hard, but it will get better with God's comfort. (((HUGS)))
                          *~* Myrna *~*
                          *~* Quilters lead pieceful lives *~*

                          Comment


                            #14
                            Re: The Hardest Day

                            May you sense God's peace & comfort in the days ahead. We have several widows in my church who have been involved in a Christian grief support group. This group has been very helpful for them. If there is such a group in your area, take advantage of it. People who have been there, done that, gone through what you're going through now, truly understand how it is & can be of great support to you. I was a young widow at age 27 with 2 pre-school boys. I remarried 6 yrs. later. My husb. is in poor health. I keep wondering when I, too, will be facing this loss. I know God doesn't give us more than we can handle with His help. God bless, JCY

                            Comment


                              #15
                              Re: The Hardest Day

                              Sandy, I'm so sorry about your Earl, there's nothing I could say that your forum friends haven't already shared. My heart goes out to you.. You spoke about all the friends and family who came to the service which showed not only how much they loved Earl but how much they love you too.. You are one special lady.. May the memories of your life together give you comfort during the times ahead... We're always here for you!! Big hugs..

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