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    update on DH

    First off, thank you so much for the kindness you have shown through our journey. I have thought about the forum but haven't been on much. Jim had a trache nine days ago and they have kept him sedated since. They started weaning him off them two days ago. He is now off all sedation except pain meds. He is opening his eyes randomly but is not responding when people ask him to. He is also not tracking with his eyes. I'm concerned about this, to say the least.

    My dad and I had a long talk yesterday with Maddie, one of Jim's nurses. She is also very concerned about Jim. She said she had been off for several days, and expected him to be responsive when she came back today. She asked me what Dr. Dennis said and I told her he was most concerned about the broken sternum and that he hoped to get Jim in rehab soon, working on walking with the parallel bars. She said, "I hope I'm wrong, but I don't see it." Quite frankly I agree.

    Although I have done my best to be patient, I have been frustrated that no one has been able to give me a timeline as to when we will know how much rehab Jim is going to need, if he is going to be all right,or what his quality of life is going to be. His living will states specifically that he does not want a breathing tube, blood transfusions, dyalisis, and a feeding tube...all of which he is on now. I am prepared to honor his living will when the time comes.

    Palliative care is available at St Francis and I have requested it. I had never heard about it but you can read about it here: Palliative Care, Greenville | Bon Secours St. Francis Health System The Palliative care team can help me decide how much longer I want Jim to have the life support systems on which he is currently.

    I have not given up hope on Jim. My desire is for his nurses to be wrong and my concerns unfounded. However, I feel I need to be prepared for any outcome.

    PS Jim's sister is still driving me nuts. I know she loves both Jim and me but I had to tell her today that I did not plan to discuss the situation anymore with her, and that she is not being supportive by questioning any aspect of his medical care. (I had emailed her yesterday about the palliative care thing and she had responded that she was going to talk to me today and that she "didn't like his doctor.) I said in my email today"That is my decision and my decision only. If you really want to be supportive you can pray for Jim's recovery and my strength." I hope she gets the message this time.

    Thanks for reading this and sending warm thoughts and prayers my way.
    Grace-Ann

    What I make with my hands, I give with my heart.

    #2
    Re: update on DH

    Nine days of being sedated is a long time. It may take Jim a bit longer to respond and I'll help you hold on to the hope that is what is going on. He's had a long, hard battle, as you have as well. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
    K is for Karen 😊​..................
    Cremation - My last hope for a smokin' hot body.


    Before you speak,
    T - is it TRUE?
    H - is it HELPFUL?
    I - is it INSPIRING?
    N - is it NECESSARY?
    K - is it KIND?

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      #3
      Re: update on DH

      Grace Ann, no need to worry about prayers being said for you and Jim. As Karen said, maybe it is just taking him longer. Don't forget, you can always get a second opinion. As far as his advanced directive or living will, that is a tough call, but sometimes one we have to make. I have had to make that decision as well. Believe me when I say, you will second guess yourself...but it IS what Jim wanted. Give it the time you are comfortable with before you do anything. The rest of the family need to understand that he is your husband, and he loved you enough to give you the means to make the hard choices. I will say some extra special prayers for you and Jim today. Don't forget to take care of yourself.
      Blankets wrap you in warmth, quilts wrap you in love

      Marilyn......
      sigpic

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        #4
        Re: update on DH

        God will keep you and Jim in his hands. I will say extra prayers for you and Jim....and just ignore his sister.
        Home is where your mother is..........;)

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          #5
          Re: update on DH

          Praying for you to have strength, and for Jim to have the strength to hold on. Only God knows when it is time to take him home. What ever is right will be what happens. You need to be strong and know you have a world of friends praying that Jim's recovery will surprise everyone!
          Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
          it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

          "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

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            #6
            Re: update on DH

            Grace Ann.........I will be saying extra prayers for Jim also. Praying you will also draw strength from all the prayers being said by your forum friends.
            "I'm putting together a list of 100 reasons why I am NOT relentless!" - Sue Heck, The Middle

            Leonard: For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
            Sheldon (intrigued): You have a sarcasm sign?

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              #7
              Re: update on DH

              Grace Ann.... You know our thoughts and prayers are with you.... And that you will do what is best for Jim.

              Stick to your guns with Jim's sister.... She needs to be respectful of your decisions, and to understand that whatever decisions are made are yours to make...

              God Bless.


              Sandy from Cincinnati


              AKA Kermit

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                #8
                Re: update on DH

                Originally posted by easyquilts View Post
                Grace Ann.... You know our thoughts and prayers are with you.... And that you will do what is best for Jim.

                Stick to your guns with Jim's sister.... She needs to be respectful of your decisions, and to understand that whatever decisions are made are yours to make...

                God Bless.
                Sandy said it best, we are all praying that Jim takes a good turn. May

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                  #9
                  Re: update on DH

                  I'm sending hugs and prayers your way and hopefully you will soon see some improvement. Genny
                  TODAY IS A GOOD DAY...TO HAVE A GOOD DAY...Genny

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                    #10
                    Re: update on DH

                    Many, many hugs and prayers to you. I hope your DH can pull out of this.

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                      #11
                      Re: update on DH

                      Grace-Ann ~ I've been in the same position with both my mother and husband. Easier to make decisions when the prognosis is very clear. Mom was 88 with congestive heart failure and pneumonia when she passed.

                      My sisters-in-Law (especially if they are not with you) constantly questioned the care my husband was getting because I was the only one they could contact for information. They were concerned and wanted to do something ... but there was nothing else they could do except to make sure I was asking all the questions they would ask themselves. I was put in the middle and didn't like it but understood because I had similar questions and advice for my mom when dad was ill.

                      I trusted but had questions that went unanswered by doctor #1. Thankfully my husband also had a caring nurse. She recommended doctor #2 who gave me a second opinion that didn't agree with #1so I got a 3rd opinion. Between the 3 of them they finally agreed on a plan ~ and things are fine today. Recovery is a very slow process full of starts and stops. Having the Living Will and Healthcare Power of Attorney is an awesome responsibility too. I'd advise you to get as much input as you can ... but that takes time. I pray for patience for you, hope you consider find a skillful doctor who can give you a second opinion and pray that he is slowly recovering to his old self. (((hugs)))

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                        #12
                        Re: update on DH

                        My prayers are with you and Jim. I'm so sorry this is happening. Maybe he just needs a little extra time.
                        sigpicwww.whisperofrose.blogspot.com


                        Scottie Mom Barb

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                          #13
                          Re: update on DH

                          I am praying for you both. Try to stay strong and take care of yourself so you can be there for Jim.
                          Vicki C:icon_hi:

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                            #14
                            Re: update on DH

                            I will keep you in my prayers for strength, your sister in law for understanding. I will pray that Jim just needs more time to get well.

                            The decision regarding life support is never easy but whatever happens you have many, many quilt friends praying for all of you.

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                              #15
                              Re: update on DH

                              I'm sorry Jim isn't doing well and hoping he just needs more time to recover from the sedation. Prayers for both of you are continuing.
                              *~* Myrna *~*
                              *~* Quilters lead pieceful lives *~*

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