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Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

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    Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

    My partner found this story about how to give a cat a pill, I thought you guys may like this one.....

    Since springtime is when many people acquire new pets, here is some advices for both cat and dog owners that may be helpful.

    How to Give A Cat a Pill...

    1) Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

    2) Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

    3) Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.

    4) Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right fore-finger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.

    5) Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

    6) Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, hold front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.

    7) Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines and vases from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.

    8) Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with head just visible from below armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.

    9) Check label to make sure pill not harmful to humans, drink 1 beer to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse's forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.

    10) Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Open another beer. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.

    11) Fetch screwdriver from garage and put cupboard door back on hinges. Drink beer. Fetch bottle of scotch. Pour shot, drink. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus jab. Apply whiskey compress to cheek to disinfect. Toss back another shot. Throw Tee-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.

    12) Ring fire brigade to retrieve the freaking cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil-wrap.

    13) Tie the little ****'s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table, find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Be rough about it. Hold head vertically and pour 2 pints of water down throat to wash pill down.

    14) Consume remainder of Scotch. Get spouse to drive you to the emergency room, sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm and removes pill remnants from right eye. Call furniture shop on way home to order new table.

    15) Arrange for RSPCA to collect mutant cat from hell and ring local pet shop to see if they have any hamsters.

    How To Give A Dog A Pill:

    1) Wrap it in bacon.

    I have had many tries at medicating my little man, didn't go as wrong above, but I lost a few pints of red....

    #2
    Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

    This was a hoot, thanks for sharing!
    There's still time to change the road you're on - Led Zeppelin, "Stairway to Heaven"

    Comment


      #3
      Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

      I had a cat and for the duration was an alcoholic from all the scotch. LOL Jan L.
      Home, where each lives for the others and all live for God! ><(((((o>

      Comment


        #4
        Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

        Been there, done that. Currently we have a long-haired beauty who reacts the same way whenever you get a comb or brush out. She really makes me ashamed that I love her so much.
        Sometimes, when there's a raging fire,
        it's best not to try to put it out with gasoline.

        "...pal carajo con la negatividad..."

        Comment


          #5
          Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

          omg....so funny! How true.

          Comment


            #6
            Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

            I'm glad you guys liked this one, as soon as my partner told me this story I had to share it........ I was rolling around on the floor in pain from laughing so much....

            Originally posted by Sandy Navas View Post
            Been there, done that. Currently we have a long-haired beauty who reacts the same way whenever you get a comb or brush out. She really makes me ashamed that I love her so much.
            My little man, Rocky, well I should say little men, as Rambo is Rocky's brother... they hate being combed too.... it's amazing how four paws tend to turn into eight (and how they help each other out when they see the other being combed)!

            Comment


              #7
              Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

              Oh my! Too funny and true! I give my lil ragdoll Dinah a pill once a month. Early this a.m. was her day. She didn't need me to peel her off the ceiling fan and I didn't come away with a bloody stump.
              Yep, dawgs are peaches next to kittehs. Thanks for sharing
              Sewing mends the soul.
              sigpic


              Do the math; count your blessings
              Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

              http://pinterest.com/vintageprims/boards/ Unless we are creating we are not fully alive
              ~ Madeleine L'Engle

              Comment


                #8
                Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

                Ha Ha!

                Boy am I glad we got liquid medicine for our cat!
                Shelia

                Comment


                  #9
                  Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend


                  Doesn't this face express the sentiments exactly?
                  Sewing mends the soul.
                  sigpic


                  Do the math; count your blessings
                  Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.

                  http://pinterest.com/vintageprims/boards/ Unless we are creating we are not fully alive
                  ~ Madeleine L'Engle

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

                    I love it!! that picture says it all I think ......

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Re: Something to make you smile, for anyone who has a furry best friend

                      OMG THAT IS SOOO FUNNY!!!!
                      Yes I have cats and worked at with a Vet for a while!! O My Goodness!! How true!!!


                      Thanks for the major cackle and lol on the floor!!
                      Jan G
                      Jan G :icon_wave:


                      THE HURRIER I GO,
                      THE BEHINDER I GET!!!!
                      :lol:

                      Comment

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