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A Woman in pain & Anguish

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    I think everyone we had dealings with that I had to contact with after Howard passed, was so compassionate. They all wanted to help in any way they could.

    FYI, bless him, he was never late for anything, but his death certificate wasn't signed and the cremation couldn't be done until almost 2 weeks after his death. The hospital staff doctor was the slowest in doing his paperwork. The funeral home's hands were tied until the dr. did his part and from what they said, the owner had to get kind of nasty with the hospital about getting the death certificate signed so they could perform their duties.

    For the next few months, it's the hurry up and wait game. Just about everything will easily change to your name. Here in FL, I was able to make a copy of the death certificate and email it to many of the companies to switch the account to my name. It was a lot easier than dealing with all of the laws and paperwork in NC.

    I hope this part of your journey will be an easier transition for you . I know during this 'virus' time, some places might not have their full staff in place, and things might take a little longer.


    “Nothing can dim the light which shines from within.”
    ― Maya Angelou


      The most pressing things I took care of were SS, pension, and make sure he is taken off any insurance policies you have ( home, auto etc). Put a freeze on his credit. If you file with one of the 3 bureaus they will transfer all info to the other 2 in cases of death. Of course you will need death certificates for all but make the calls to get things started. After that you can change things when you are ready.


        Dear, dear Kathryn—my heart is breaking for you. We are all here for you as you walk this difficult road. I am so sorry for what you've gone through.
        Toni ... If I keep sewing long enough, will they make their own dinner?


          Every county should have a veterans' service officer. He/she will be able to help you determine what benefits you may qualify for.


            Kathryn, So sorry for your loss. I know what you are going through as my husband passed away just 2 years ago yesterday (the 23rd). After he passed away, the hospital put him in the morgue and had told me they would contact the funeral home and I should hear from them that afternoon. The funeral home did not call and I was ready to call on Sat. morning when they had called. Apparently, the hospital had put him in their morgue but did not call the funeral home until Sat. morning. He was in that horrible place for almost 24 hours. Anyway, the funeral home contacted Social Security to let them know of his death before his next check. Also, I had tried to make a payment on one of his credit cards from the bank he used and I couldn't because the password he had told me didn't work. I went into the bank and ended up talking to the manager. She told me I was not responsible for his debt. The card was in his name only. They wrote the debt off. He also had a card with Sears and I told them he had passed away and there was no estate. they wrote it off but then a collection agency called me numerous times (also both my sons) but I just did not answer the phone. After about a year the calls ceased. When my mom passed away in 2012, we had to send an original death certificate with everything --- no copies allowed. Fast forward to 2018, and for my husband, I was able to just fax a copy or the bank made a copy each time. I received 6 certificates from the funeral home through the state for $6 each and then I received 10 from the VA free. I still have all 20 from the VA and maybe 2 or 3 from the state.

            I also found that, except for Sears and that collection agency, the people I dealt with were very kind and caring when I spoke with them. I also kept notes and lists of things I needed to do and things I had already done, who I spoke with either in person or on the phone, or through email. I know this is hard, but you can do this. Find a system that will work for you to get everything accomplished. Also, know that the people here on this forum are very caring and compassionate. They really helped me through a very trying time.



              Kathryn, I'm so sorry for this terrible ordeal you've been through. I've been working on getting our affairs in order and found this checklist helpful; maybe it will help you too:

              to the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world...


                Kathryn, you have been on my mind today. I hope you are doing okay. If you need a friend and someone to talk to I am here. You may send me a message and I will give you my phone number. We all love and care about you!


                  Dear Kathryn, I'm so sorry for your loss. I have no words of wisdom, but know that I am praying along with all of your quilty friends here. I hope you are able to get some rest, and find solace in your memories of good times with Bob. May the Lord hold you in the palm of His hand and pour out His peace.
                  ~ Sally \0/


                    Thank you!! I can't begin to tell each of you how my heart overwhelmed with this outpouring of endearment. I'll post an update in a day or so. I'm grateful for the "List to do's" It's still just a blur... bless you all! If some one said there was a better group out there I wouldn't believe them, there are no others! the "Best" is right here. I don't know what I would have done with out you!!
                    When you have decided what you believe, what you feel must be done, have the courage to stand alone and be counted
                    Eleanor Roosevelt