View Full Version : The Spoon Theory

Sandy Navas
March 31st, 2012, 10:37 AM
I think I have mentioned that my daughter is disabled due to permanent nerve damage following the birth of DGD#3. So for 10 years she has been in constant pain. She does manage to get up and get around but at a cost. Yesterday she mentioned to me on the phone that after a grocery shopping stint she had 'spent all her spoons'. I wasn't familiar with that and she said she'd send me a link.

Given that we have many members with chronic disease and various disabilities, I thought perhaps we could all do well reading this short message and we could walk away with a better understanding of what being ill means when it is constant. I leave you with: http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/navigation/BYDLS-TheSpoonTheory.pdf


March 31st, 2012, 11:00 AM
Sandy, thanks so much for that. I live with chronic pain from a car wreck that damaged my back and neck. Even going to a chiropractor twice a week - some days it's all I can do to get out of bed. Since there are no outward signs, people just don't get it. This really puts things into perspective. I'm going to share it with a few friends that have similar problems.

March 31st, 2012, 11:12 AM
I am also a "spooner" and today it feels like I might have 6 to work with. Most days I look like the picture of health, but the hard days show on my face. At the grocery store my checker knows by looking at me without asking if I need help getting my bags out to the car. Sadly, putting borders on quilts is getting pretty tough for me. I feel like I have to wrestle quilt tops and getting up and down from the floor takes a real toll - even just from the aspect of age, not to mention illness!! I thank the Lord for the good days and take refuge under his Wing on the hard days. I hope to make quilts until the day I fly away.... :)

March 31st, 2012, 11:13 AM
Sandy, I did not know that about your daughter. What a wonderful story and thank you for helping us understand.

March 31st, 2012, 11:14 AM
Thanks for sharing Sandy and for giving those of us who (thankfully) aren't dealing with chronic illness or disability a better perspective of those who are.

March 31st, 2012, 11:23 AM
Beautiful, Sandy. What a great way to put life when living with a challenge. Thank you for sharing. Hugs to you and your DD for all your courage and strength.

March 31st, 2012, 01:53 PM
Sandy, thank you so much for sharing this. Our youngest DD deals daily with pain, weakness and other symptoms of her chronic illness and this is a great way to put it into perspective. She has the most spoons right after her IV med day, she calls it getting 'juiced' and refers to feeling like a beast, but I can see the changes daily as she 'spoons out' leading up to the next treatment. Hugs and prayers to your daughter and you, as I know what a worrisome life it is.

March 31st, 2012, 03:14 PM
Wow! Thanks for posting this. I have Lupus and I've always had a hard time explaining how I felt and how I make it through each day. This explains it perfectly...

March 31st, 2012, 05:42 PM
Wow...that really explains things for a disabled person quite well. I too suffer from disabilities that don't show...a mental illness (major depressive disorder) and physical disabilities (migraines, fibromyalgia, and a brain tumor). When it doesn't "show", people just don't get it. I can't tell you how many times I've been asked why I don't work. I used to work...loved to work...but disabilities are just that...disabling. Thanks for posting that.

Divine Daisy
March 31st, 2012, 05:51 PM
Even when we are both better, neither Mr Daisy or I will forget having only limited spoons for a time. Never again will we leave spoons spare lying around being wasted. Nope, we will use all our spoons in the future, even if its only forbanging others over the head with lol

March 31st, 2012, 06:06 PM
Thank you, Sandy. I posted the link on my FB page. There's a person on my page that's always complaining about one thing or another. I hope she reads the link. Maybe she'll realize how lucky she is and spend more time focusing on the positive in her life instead of the negative. I'm just so glad those of you who suffer have this wonderful hobby to help bring some happiness to your days.

March 31st, 2012, 09:11 PM
Yep, been dealing with spoons for 12 years now. I'm with the Daisy's, I hit my forehead with them on a regular basis. lol

I've been blessed that God has given me a positive attitude since birth, that's what has kept me going. Not to say that I don't have bad days, I do. I've had days where the last spoon went down the garbage disposal! Talk about a noise!!!

Then I will hear or read about someone else's day/life and come to realize that they are worse off than I am. I go in my bed or lay on the sofa, get my raggedy microfiber blanket/my Mom's leopard fleeze jacket - make it dark and cover my eyes ... and pray for tomorrows spoons to arrive. :) Hopefully via FedEx Overnight Express!

Donna F
April 1st, 2012, 03:04 AM
I too am a fellow spooner. There are days when I cannot sit up much less get out of bed. Hopefully soon I will have a trial on a spinal cord stimulator to see if it will work for me so I'm not taking 14 pills a day. Cross your fingers and say a prayer. I will still be in pain but it may give me a few more spoons. Dr says it's the last resort. Of course living with lupus, fibro, and possibly MS will still be a challenge. Folks just don't know how good life is until your health goes downhill.


Susan Long
April 1st, 2012, 03:41 AM
Thanks for sharing that with us. I am one of the lucky ones who try to remember not to take all my "spoons" for granted. I do not have pain, nor am I sick, but I do empathize with those who are, and try to keep that in my head when I'm having a frustrating day. Just to try to be a little more patient, wear a little more smiles, and treat everyone with kindness and warmth. You really do have no idea what kind of day someone else is having, they may have run out of spoons already and me being short with them is certainly not going to help anything. Nice to have this reminder!

April 2nd, 2012, 03:55 AM
Sandy; thanks so much for that "spoon theory"....it goes a long way when explaining things to others...thanks again

April 2nd, 2012, 09:08 AM
I was in a car accident 16 yrs ago February. My right knee was badly damaged right at the joint. So I have had numerous surgeries. It has been really bad since January. It is the back of the knee that hurts and it makes it very painful to stand up, even when sitting for very short periods. But I could be worse. I have a dr's appointment in two weeks so I will ask him to check it out.

Thanks Sandy.

April 2nd, 2012, 09:46 AM
What a great way to explain the pain and inability to do too much for those with the illnesses. I may have arthitis in my hands and hips, but I am not to the point yet, where I have to take away too many spoons. My hand sewing and my crocheting do get laid aside quicker these days. But, thank God my overall health is okay.
I wish I could share some of my spoons with all of you.