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KPH
November 10th, 2018, 12:31 AM
This has been one unusual day. I really don't want another one like it. The past couple of weeks I've felt like I've been wearing my feelings on my sleeves, as mom would say. Irritable, scared about making Christmas plans yet wanting to get my head wrapped around Christmas plans, having the Christmas season without Howard, getting Mike to find a new job, it's all just wearing me down.

I had a phone call from "AT&T" with a better deal. The guy kept talking and I told him I wasn't interested. He kept on, told me He could fix all my problems, and that's when my mouth went out of control. He could fix all my problems... well I gave him one he couldn't fix. I told him my husband died in January, fix that. Then the back peddling started and I hung up. Have mercy, I should have hung up after he started in on my cell service, but I let him get the better of me.

Then around 8:30 tonight, Jim called wanting Mike to come over and help him move the fish tank. Not a word out of him all day, but he waits until its dark to want something. Testy mom is glad Mike answered the phone or Jim would have probably gotten an ear full.

Well, 10 comes around and there's a screech and a big thud behind the house. I looked out, but couldn't see anything, traffic certainly wasn't slowing down any, so I sat back down. About 10 minutes later, 5 police cars, then 2 big fire trucks, 2 EMT/ ambulances, a fire marshal and the thuds from compartments being opened and closed all going on behind the neighbors house.

155939

Somebody going to fast for conditions (it rained earlier), went off the road and into the embankment behind our neighbor's house.

So prayers for a peaceful tomorrow, prayers for those in need (Mike heard someone screaming out there when he was looking). prayers of thanksgiving for all of our many blessings.

jjkaiser
November 10th, 2018, 12:39 AM
I am sorry about your horrible day. I think you have hit the wall as they say. Time for an adult beverage and bed maybe? Hope things get better for you.

chelea
November 10th, 2018, 12:49 AM
Katrina, I think YOU are the glue that holds your family together. Time to put your foot down. I suspect you have more power than you give yourself credit for.

KarenC
November 10th, 2018, 06:44 AM
Praying for peace for you. You are definitely the rock for your family. I don't know how you do all that you do.

Bubby
November 10th, 2018, 09:48 AM
Wishing you better days. You are still grieving the loss of your DH....give yourself time and try to slow down a little to make time for yourself.

MaggieSue
November 10th, 2018, 10:18 AM
So sorry that you had a bad day. Maybe today will be better. I too, do not know how you do all you do!!

SuzanneOrleansOntario
November 10th, 2018, 10:52 AM
Oh Katrina,
I'm sorry for another rough day. I know it may not seem like it to you, but I think you have been through a horrendous year(s). Moving away and settling closer to your kids may seem like a good idea, and it is good that they include you in their daily life. You have lost a support system that you had. However I really feel your kids are not considering that you have a right to your own time for enjoying your activities, pursuing your passions, and mostly time for grieving.

You might want to consider taking a trip to NC to visit old friends and family ( if this is what would bring you some peace).

Hugs to you today.

baslp
November 10th, 2018, 10:55 AM
You definitely have a lot going on right now. This is a great place to vent. Hope you feel better today.

Beth

Rhonda K
November 10th, 2018, 11:35 AM
Sending you a big hug and a day filled with love. Be kind to yourself.

This may be a time for a family meeting to let your children know you are struggling. Let them know your expectations for communications. It seems like there are constant communication issues with schedules and grandchildren. Even though it's not intentional, it is upsetting your routines and schedules for last minute changes. The hurt feelings compound into your life.

They are adults and must step up to your plate now. Some people fly by the seat of their pants and others need a routine. Their crisis becomes your crisis. Let them know without prior and clear communication, you won't own their crisis.

Please know we are here for you. Sending you another big hug for your day.

PS: Do you have an on-line account for your phone? You can opt-out of those types of calls or solicitations. It could have been a scammer looking for your information.

cv quilter
November 10th, 2018, 11:48 AM
Katrina, It definitely was not a day anyone would want to repeat. :( I'm so sorry for the sadness and frustration you are feeling. You always are so sweet and kind in remembering prayers for all who need them, and now you are one who needs them. I pray that days will get better for you. I agree with telling your children what you are feeling and then try to reinforce each time they forget! You are in need of some TLC.

JCY
November 10th, 2018, 02:15 PM
Hi, Katrina ~ I hope today is a better day for you. I've been thinking about all those people in Paradise, CA & those other towns where they are getting ravaged by the wildfires. Such a sad thing to lose everything. No time to take anything, just flee for your lives.

Midge
November 11th, 2018, 03:19 PM
Smart of you to let off some steam unloading here, where there are so many kind and supportive people who get your misery. Grief is an all consuming thing at times, even many months after a loss, isn't it? Don't let anyone tell you it's time to get a grip or move on. Those people may mean well, but don't know what they are talking about. You must live this and it's hard work. Hugs for you..

Bouse
November 11th, 2018, 03:43 PM
Katrina you are still facing so many firsts since losing your beloved husband and you need time to process them and establish coping mechanisms. I do think your son takes advantage of your inability to leave the house without company though. Schools have timetables so why shouldn’t home school be the same? At least you could factor in time for yourself that way. You are incredible for all that you do for them and with them but you need time for you too. My very best wishes to you.