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Astatoo
April 3rd, 2018, 09:53 PM
I found out earlier today that I was gifted some money in my uncles will. This was totally unexpected. My question what should my response be? Send a thank you card, give my aunt a call of thanks, make a donation to his favorite charity in his name? I want the family to know how touched I am that he chose to remember me in this way but I don't want to offend the family by making it sound like I am saying thank you, it was nice of Uncle Bill to die. Not sure what my next step should be, where oh where is Miss Manners when you need her?

JCY
April 3rd, 2018, 09:58 PM
It seems to me either a phone call or a card of thanks would be appropriate. A gift is yours to use however you want to. If I were receiving it, I'd keep it. I probably would donate 10% of it to my church or other deserving charity & use the other 90% however you want to. Invest it, put it in the bank for a rainy day, whatever. It's your gift.

Hulamoon
April 3rd, 2018, 10:07 PM
I found out earlier today that I was gifted some money in my uncles will. This was totally unexpected. My question what should my response be? Send a thank you card, give my aunt a call of thanks, make a donation to his favorite charity in his name? I want the family to know how touched I am that he chose to remember me in this way but I don't want to offend the family by making it sound like I am saying thank you, it was nice of Uncle Bill to die. Not sure what my next step should be, where oh where is Miss Manners when you need her?

He left it to you because he loved you, it was a gift,so I would just say, wow I'm overwhelmed he thought of me. You won't be offending them unless they are jealous. Was it a lot?

Mom23
April 3rd, 2018, 10:27 PM
I have been the recipient of a bequest and I sent a Thank You note to the person in charge of the estate letting her know I was making a donation to Catholic Charities in Memory of "John Doe".

Hulamoon
April 3rd, 2018, 10:47 PM
If you want to donate it I would try and find out where he would of use it. My mom loved animals for example. I wouldn't too guilty about it.

MSN
April 3rd, 2018, 11:23 PM
Definitely thank the family. "I am so touched that Uncle Bill chose to give me this unexpected gift. He was such a kind man. I will use the money for _____ and think of him whenever I use it." Or, "I am saving the money for a rainy day. Bless him for his generosity in making sure I have a financial safety net." In general, if you can share a favorite story about Uncle Bill, the family will appreciate it.

Unless you want to, I don't think you have to donate to a charity in his name. If he had wanted the money to go to a particular charity, he would have specified that in his will.

KPH
April 4th, 2018, 12:05 AM
I agree, a thank you note acknowledging the bequest and his generosity. It was his gift to you. You can use it any way you see fit.

It could be you mentioned something that you'd like to do, and he wanted to help you toward that goal. Use it in good health.

K. McEuen
April 4th, 2018, 03:15 AM
If your Aunt is still alive, I would call her and say how touched you were that your Uncle thought enough of you to remember you in his will. I don't know about the whole sending a thank you note to the family, because some family members may not agree that Uncle Bill shared with you and others instead of giving everything to them. Money makes people do strange things.

When my mom's Uncle Bill died, he left all of his nieces and nephews each $1500.00. He didn't have any children of his own and his wife had died a few yers before he did. I was in high school at the time and I remember reading the copy of the will that was sent to my mom. I think there were at least 20 or 25 names on that list. That didn't really even leave a dent in what Uncle Bill had, but lo and behold, one of the cousins sued the estate. It seems that she wanted it ALL for her and her son. So this was drawn out for about a year. All the cousins still got what they were willed, but some of the other money that had been left to charities, etc. ended up going to the cousin and her son that sued.

MSN
April 4th, 2018, 04:04 AM
If your Aunt is still alive, I would call her and say how touched you were that your Uncle thought enough of you to remember you in his will. I don't know about the whole sending a thank you note to the family, because some family members may not agree that Uncle Bill shared with you and others instead of giving everything to them. Money makes people do strange things.

When my mom's Uncle Bill died, he left all of his nieces and nephews each $1500.00. He didn't have any children of his own and his wife had died a few yers before he did. I was in high school at the time and I remember reading the copy of the will that was sent to my mom. I think there were at least 20 or 25 names on that list. That didn't really even leave a dent in what Uncle Bill had, but lo and behold, one of the cousins sued the estate. It seems that she wanted it ALL for her and her son. So this was drawn out for about a year. All the cousins still got what they were willed, but some of the other money that had been left to charities, etc. ended up going to the cousin and her son that sued.
Karen, you make a very good point that some of the family may not agree with how Uncle Bill chose to divide his estate. I once heard the saying, "Where there's a will, there's a relative."

My father-in-law received some money when his uncle (who had no children) died. For whatever reason, Uncle Bob chose to leave money to one niece and one nephew, but not to my FIL's two sisters. It caused such hard feelings that it permanently changed his relationship with his older sister. It's really sad what a little bit of money can do.

TMP
April 4th, 2018, 05:25 AM
I think I have to agree with MSN. Saying thank you is nice. He wanted you to have the money and unless he specified it is yours to do with as you want.

Astatoo
April 4th, 2018, 10:01 AM
Thanks for all the advice, I will compose a nice letter of thanks. It is not a large sum but it is substantial, I am sure the family is okay with this, they all are very well off because of the hard work my uncle put in during his life and I get along very well with my cousins, they all have hearts of gold.

grammaterry
April 4th, 2018, 10:11 AM
I think just thanking Uncles wife is appropriate. However, I think since he was frugal enough to save money, that should lead the example of what you should do as well. If I am fortunate enough to outlive my money...unlikely event...I would be appauled to think my children would spend the left overs rather than sock it away for their longevity .

jjkaiser
April 4th, 2018, 01:02 PM
Well now you got me thinking What is correct because I was about to say congratulations, which is probably all wrong so you don't think I am congratulating you on your uncle's death!! My thought is he wanted you to have the money and if he wanted to make a donation to his favorite charity he would have put that in his will. I do think a card to his wife would be nice, our a phone call if you have been close over the years.

lots2do
April 4th, 2018, 08:42 PM
Our will is written so that if anyone contests it, they get nothing. Hope that won't happen but money or the prospect of getting money can warp some people's mindsets.
What a kind thing your Uncle did for you.

MaryUK
April 4th, 2018, 09:21 PM
I'm sure a card or letter to your Aunt would be well received. When FIL died and my DH was executor of the will, 2 nieces received their late father's share. I received a Facebook thank you (DH is not on Facebook) from 1 of the nieces but nothing from the other one. My DH just said, "well they weren't interested in him when he was alive (only visited once every 18 months or so and lived 5 miles away) so what's the difference now!!"

A card would have been nice but there you go.....

K. McEuen
April 4th, 2018, 11:40 PM
Our will is written so that if anyone contests it, they get nothing. Hope that won't happen but money or the prospect of getting money can warp some people's mindsets.
What a kind thing your Uncle did for you.

Ha! My Dad did the same thing. If any of us 4 kids contested his will then we would have been out. I told my two sisters and brother that they should all contest it ... Dad got a good laugh out of that.

quilt_gems_25
April 5th, 2018, 07:16 PM
I think you said it in your initial post "I want the family to know how touched I am that he chose to remember me.."
How about a letter with this and some stories that you remember about your Uncle Bill? Maybe spending a day with your aunt remembering good times?
You must have been very special to him.