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Judy, USMC
November 30th, 2017, 04:17 AM
Dear Forum Members -

My sincere thanks for the support you have given me. In addition to the numerous condolence posts on the passing of my husband, Steve, I have also received cards, pm's, emails and phone calls. You have no idea how deeply I appreciate every word.

Steve and I never had children, I'm an only child, he has one sister in Indiana and she and I have never been close. We knew the neighbors enough to wave but as in all military towns the houses have new owners we never really met. We stopped participating in the veteran's organizations after his bypass surgery in 2010 and the on-base craft shop I volunteered at closed a couple of years ago. I thought I would face the rest of my life strictly on my own.

Your graciousness has truly made me feel like I am not alone. Thanks for lifting my spirits by letting me know you care.

Judy

Monique
November 30th, 2017, 04:29 AM
Judy, you will never be alone here because we do care.

K. McEuen
November 30th, 2017, 05:09 AM
And you still have family to help you celebrate your birthday each year. ;)

Mary Lynn
November 30th, 2017, 07:18 AM
I hope you are able to reach out to some group in your area. We are all here for you, but personal contact with others is important for everyone.

Star lover
November 30th, 2017, 08:02 AM
We aren't substitutes for a human touch.....but we're close. Come visit here as often as you want....we'll be here.
I'll continue to pray for you. Love and hugs!

Jean Sewing Machine
November 30th, 2017, 08:40 AM
Judy, my heart goes out to you in this time after the passing of your beloved husband. It is a rough time to go through, the grieving for your loss, choosing the direction your life will take in your new situation as a widow, and balancing this with the necessities of day to day living. I would just caution you to deal with things one day at a time ( sounds trite but it is good advice). Make no quick decisions on big moves, I know you won't do that! You are a strong woman, I know you will make your way into the new reality you are now facing. My neighbor who was widowed at a rather young age called it " looking for a new normal". And those of us who have had the privilege of knowing you and Steve first hand through your participation at our forum retreats are so here for you! Please know that at any time we can help, just let us know what you need. If your sewing machine and quilt fabrics bring you serenity, don't forget to use them as a way of coping with life's stresses! We love you so!

Sandy Navas
November 30th, 2017, 09:59 AM
Double Ditto to what Jean wrote. Couldn't have said it better. We are here for you - just don't hesitate for a second to reach out.

KPH
November 30th, 2017, 10:37 AM
Jean said it all so well! God bless and keep you close. I think the best advice was the advice my great aunt Eulene required of her only son, and she set it up in her will to make sure he followed it, 'Don't make any major decisions for at least 6 months.' She wanted to make sure that he had time to grieve and then be able to process what he really wanted to accomplish. There is so much to take care of when someone passes, just take your time and give yourself time to grieve.

grammaterry
November 30th, 2017, 11:07 AM
Katrina's aunt had good advice as well. I've heard it said that after divorces and death, no major decisions should be made for a year. I have witnessed people who have changed everything before that and disaster seems to strike. Loneliness and grief are not good bedfellows with clear headed thinking and common sense. Those people you are acquainted with sometimes come and try to take advantage.
Maybe next year we can meet up to drive to the retreat together. I would never attempt it on my own and my DH wouldn't be at all interested and I know how travel savvy you are.

JCY
November 30th, 2017, 12:34 PM
Dear Judy ~ Yes, we are here for you! Sending virtual hugs! You might consider looking for a grief support group in your area. You didn't mention if you go to church. If so, maybe some church friends will come along side you to help you through this. Does the military have grief support groups?

One of my friends whose husb. died of cancer some years ago said she thought the 2nd year afterwards was almost harder than the first year. Grieving definitely takes time. There always will be that hole in your heart. For certain, don't make any major decisions right away.

You're in my thoughts & prayers. God bless! Joy

LLLinda
November 30th, 2017, 01:05 PM
This thread really makes me want to attend a retreat so I can meet you wonderful and supportive ladies.

Debbie Watters
November 30th, 2017, 01:47 PM
Please know that you are in our prayers ... take care of yourself ...

KarenC
November 30th, 2017, 04:33 PM
LLLinda, I would definitely recommend attending a forum retreat if you can. 3 years ago, I wondered why do people go to the same retreat every year. Well I decided to go for my vacation in 2016, and got hooked. I love being able to see some of the same smiling faces from the previous year and meeting new friends each time. It is something I now look forward to each year.

Iris Girl
November 30th, 2017, 04:52 PM
We are here for you, come often a speak what is on your mind good or bad and memories. Everyone has given good advice as to no major decisions for 6 months to a year. And remember everyone grieves differently and for different time periods. ((HUGS))

Simply Quilting
November 30th, 2017, 10:53 PM
HUGS! Ditto for sure on what Jean said.

snippet
December 2nd, 2017, 01:11 AM
Well you and Steve are special people to us! And you aren't alone. If you need to talk, cry, yell, etc just give me a call. I'm ready. And when you want company, let me know and we can plan a road trip!

GuitarGramma
December 2nd, 2017, 01:18 AM
Oh Judy, I hadn't heard about Steve. My heart goes out to you. I feel privileged to have met Steve last year. He was such a happy man. You, of course, were a big part of his happiness. I'm privileged to know you, too. You will be in my prayers.

stitching woman
December 2nd, 2017, 01:46 AM
Judy, Jean said everything so well no need to repeat. Just know all of us who have had the privilege to meet you and Steve in person are her for you and we love you. Reach out to any or all of us for support and love. Hugs dear friend.

auntiemern
December 6th, 2017, 10:22 PM
You are loved. Plain and simple. We will always be here for you, if you need to vent, cry, chat or what ever...anytime you need someone, we are here. You know how much I care about you and how much Steve meant to me....so anytime, just holler.

BethB
December 7th, 2017, 11:04 AM
Judy, I will never forget in 2016. I had just arrived at the Super 8 in Cameron and was looking for something in the back of the car. You walked over and asked if that was a sewing machine in there. It wasn't, but I was there to go to the retreat. You welcomed me in to the fold with such warmth and friendship. You do have many friends here on the forum so don't hesitate to visit when you need something. We love you.

Nancy