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Hulamoon
April 26th, 2017, 05:31 AM
I'm just curious. My mom was married three times. She changed her name back to her maiden name. Have you ever done that?

Iris Girl
April 26th, 2017, 05:37 AM
My sister in law took that one step further. When she divorced her 1st husband she took on the last name of her new stepfather. Because she hated her father so much and would never carry that last name again... LOL That is my last name and its fine.

Jean Sewing Machine
April 26th, 2017, 05:45 AM
My daughter did this when she divorced. The kids still use their father's last name, even though they have not seen him or been near him since they were babies.

Ginny B
April 26th, 2017, 08:10 AM
I took back my maiden name when I divorced my 1st husband. Of course, then I married Charlie 14 years ago today and changed my name again. LOL

KPH
April 26th, 2017, 08:14 AM
I thought of one the other way. My friend married, divorced and kept her married name for the kids sake. Anyway, her oldest daughter married an obviously not related man with the same last name.

URIBARRI-MAYOR
April 26th, 2017, 09:07 AM
I have read this thread and I would like to answer it from another point of view, in my country the surnames are very important and we keep them for the whole life, the women keep all their surnames and pass them to their children although alternating with those of the husband, during many years the husband´s name was ahead and the woman´s later, although for a few years with the equality of women and men can be put first the woman, that depends on the couple. Well I must also say that if any adult not agree with their parents can change the name but it is a court case. To see how they are here are my own, my father "Uribarri-Meñaca" and my mother "Mayor-Lopez" so I have these "Uribarri-Mayor-Meñaca-Lopez" and a lot more that are in our papers and in our Genealogical Tree, I hope you have liked my information and I wish you a happy day

Julie A
April 26th, 2017, 09:32 AM
Awesome! We see some women here choosing to keep maiden names after marriage and some hyphenating their maiden and husband's name.

When I divorced, I took back my maiden name - easy to do in Missouri, since you just ask in the filed papers to have judge restore maiden name. No extra time or cost. When I remarried, I went ahead and took his last name, because we wanted children and I thought it would be easier for kids. My hubby passed away in 1999 unexpectedly, but I have kept his last name since my son has it. Still feels odd, because I still think of myself as a Metzinger and not as a Hertel (his name). We would have been married 35 years next month so have been Hertel much longer.

grammaterry
April 26th, 2017, 10:52 AM
I was born Haynes a my mother remarried when I was 18 months old and I used Pennington all my life, never officially adopted, married a Meeks, divorced married an Ausband and then one day the IRS said they couldn't take my quarterly payment because my name didn't match my SS number.i had gotten my SS card at 13 when all you did was go to the Post office and fill out a card! Imagine! Anyway, I told the IRS guy I didn't know how to rectify this. You know, he received my entire name history. I said, then what's the problem you have all the information? He said I had to go to SS and take all my docs, birth, marriage, divorce, marriage etc. So I Did! The woman at the counter said, how long you been married to Henry? I said 30 yrs. She said, and theys just now getting around to asking you for this! Amazing, our government at work!

Carlie Wolf
April 26th, 2017, 11:08 AM
My sister changed her name after her divorce. She did not want to go back to her maiden name so she changed it to the family name of one of our grandparents. She later remarried and changed over to her new husbands name. He recently passed away and I don't know if she will keep that name or not.

Caroline T.
April 26th, 2017, 11:13 AM
Grammaterry, I had a similiar experience. As a child I always used my middle name because my mother (and step-mother) both were Carolines. So my SS # was under Elizabeth L. (without the Caroline) , but my drivers license had my full name of Caroline Elizabeth L.

When I married, I went to the Driver's license office to change my name on my DL. Well they didn't ask me which name I wanted to drop, and automatically dropped the Elizabeth (hence I'm now called Caroline by many, but my family still calls me Elizabeth).

At this point now I had to change my banking info, and my payroll checks and W2s to reflect the Caroline L. T. and had not thought to change my SS records. First time DH & I filed our tax return it was rejected because the name on the return & W2 didn't match the name with the SS#.

If I had known I had a choice, I would have kept Elizabeth and dropped the Caroline altogether - even though both names are beautiful, there's enough Carolines in my family, and I was the only one carrying on my Grandmother's name, at least until my first niece was born.

Sheep Farmer
April 26th, 2017, 12:27 PM
When I got divorced, I changed my last name to a name I always loved as a young girl (it was from a movie).
I LOVED my last name and still use it often.
Where I'm living now I am using a different last name that was not legally changed; I just use it.
No one knows my "legal" last name. LOL

Midge
April 26th, 2017, 01:21 PM
I was born Haynes a my mother remarried when I was 18 months old and I used Pennington all my life, never officially adopted, married a Meeks, divorced married an Ausband and then one day the IRS said they couldn't take my quarterly payment because my name didn't match my SS number.i had gotten my SS card at 13 when all you did was go to the Post office and fill out a card! Imagine! Anyway, I told the IRS guy I didn't know how to rectify this. You know, he received my entire name history. I said, then what's the problem you have all the information? He said I had to go to SS and take all my docs, birth, marriage, divorce, marriage etc. So I Did! The woman at the counter said, how long you been married to Henry? I said 30 yrs. She said, and theys just now getting around to asking you for this! Amazing, our government at work!

Yes, it is the government at work, because there are now currency laws to enforce - the ones to fight all the graft, drug money laundering, gambling, and credit fraud. And there are computer systems now to compare the records, which didn't exist in the bad old days. So it's a good thing, imo.

Carolnnc
April 26th, 2017, 01:46 PM
I've been with DH since our 20's BUT we went through a rough time in our early 40's and divorced for a short time. It was always weird to me to have his last name so when we remarried I told him I was keeping the name I was born with and it would be fine if he wanted to change his last name to my maiden name. He looked at me like I was crazy and said no thanks:)
I had thought about dropping my first name but it was a shortened version of my grandmothers first name. Now that I'm in my 60's I wish I'd changed it.

Judy, USMC
April 26th, 2017, 01:52 PM
I'm in a bit of a different situation. I was on active duty when I married in 1979. My field was small and everyone knew me by my former name ... so I opted to keep it. However when we bought property the lawyers said they had to put the deeds in my first and his last name since North Carolina is a Community Property state. Will have to pay to get those deeds changed to the legal one. In fact they even changed my driver's license to his last name - and only changed it to match the name on my Social Security card after 9/11.

And, unlike Terry, the IRS caught our first joint income tax return back in '79. Although we both signed the names that matched our social security numbers we got a letter since our last names didn't match. The IRS just wanted a certified copy of our marriage license.

mommadeb
April 26th, 2017, 02:05 PM
I took my maiden name back when I divorced too. I absolutely hated my married last name. When I remarried, I use my maiden name hyphenated with my husband's last name. Not normally done here but many of the foreign women have done it when marrying an Icelandic man.

Our naming system is an old one here. The child's last name is the father's first name + son or daughter. For example, Jon Samuelsson has a boy and a girl. They are named Petur Jonsson and Anna Jonsdottir. The female does not change her last name when she is married. She will always use her father's first name. When Petur has children, they would use either Petursson or Petursdottir for their last name. Make sense?

Hulamoon
April 26th, 2017, 03:01 PM
Thanks for all the stories. My married last name is Arii and my maiden is Chisholm. When I as growing up a lot of people called me Chishm. I don't know how it caught on to call me by my last name, but they keep leaving the L out! lol

mommadeb it makes perfect sense. Aren't there more countries that have that system?

bubba
April 26th, 2017, 03:13 PM
When my sister was divorced, she got hers changed back as part of the decree. Her son, when he turned 18, legally changed his name because he was named after his dad who was very abusive and he hated him. When my nephew got married, it was to someone whose last name started with the letter Z. She is a doctor and did not want to change her name other than hyphenating it. He again went and changed his name legally to hyphenate it with hers, using his last name first and hers last. She hated being last on lists and did not want their kids suffering the same thing.

threadbndr
April 26th, 2017, 03:24 PM
I'm hyphenated with maiden name-late hubster's last name. It's LONG; too long. Many computers drop the last letter or two, which has caused some banking issues over the years - especially with stock registrations!

Bubby
April 26th, 2017, 04:50 PM
When you are divorcing you get the chance to change your name.

auntiemern
April 26th, 2017, 05:30 PM
I kept my ex's last name, because of my daughter. When I remarried, I took his last name.

Hulamoon
April 26th, 2017, 05:39 PM
I'm worried about my dd. She had her baby and gave him his last name without being married. I wasn't to happy about that because they almost broke up before she found out she was pregnant. He's an arrogant could care less person and I haven't seen him in almost two years. He doesn't even like his own mom. I swear I don't know how she picked this guy.

MSN
April 26th, 2017, 07:28 PM
When my friend divorced, she absolutely did not want to use her ex-husband's name. She also wasn't wild about her maiden name. So she just looked through the phone book until she found a new last name that she liked, and that she thought sounded good with her first name. In the final divorce papers, it states that her name after the divorce will be ______________, so she just filled in the blank with the name she chose.

Kgrammiecaz
April 26th, 2017, 09:53 PM
I took my maiden name back after divorcing. I preferred my maiden name anyway. My two daughters have their fathers name. They wanted my maiden name too lol because they wanted their poppops name. I told them no, they have their dads name and they would most likely change their name someday when they go married.

When I had my youngest, her dad did not want to sign the papers so I gave her my last name. Later he chaged his mind and I said I would only hyphenate it. He had to pay a couple hundred dollars to have it done, made me happy. Since it was hyphenated I felt it was too long. So exept for legal documents, she only has used my last name anyway. Worked perfectly for me. Her father got used to it and when mailing her things only used my last name too.

I think name chaging rules are you can change you name to anything you want as long as no fraud is involved.

Interesting subject. It was fun to read some of the different practices in other cultures.

lmanna
April 26th, 2017, 10:24 PM
My mom was born without a middle name. When she married my father and changed her name she adopted her maiden name as her middle name and adopted my father's last name. For each of her marriages she adopted her new husband's last name and kept her maiden name as her middle name. 3 divorces later and she is back to how she started....First Name, no middle name, maiden last name. Having no middle name has caused her some grief but as she claims - a hell of a lot less grief than her husbands have caused her.

Before my husband and I were married I decided to play a joke on my soon-to-be father-in-law on one of his week-long visits. I told him that I was not going to adopt my husband's last name and instead that his son was going to adopt my last name. Initially I said it as a gut reaction check and was going to call my bluff immediately but his father got so uppity about it that I decided to play it out all week.

"No son of mine is going to take on a woman's last name..." blah blah blah. Yeah, let's just say his philosophy and mine (and my husband's) are VERY different.

He barely spoke to me (or my husband) the entire week. My husband and I have been married for 18 years and his father STILL hasn't gotten over it. I have found it greatly cut down on inlaw visits ;)

SallyO'Sews
April 27th, 2017, 12:26 AM
Nope; only been married once, and changed my name to his. I will never go back.

My sister, however, has been divorced 3 times. Changed her name the first time, but left the goon after 18 months and went back to our family name. Don't remember about DH#2, but pretty sure she never took #3's name.

Hulamoon
April 27th, 2017, 01:53 AM
Nope; only been married once, and changed my name to his. I will never go back.

My sister, however, has been divorced 3 times. Changed her name the first time, but left the goon after 18 months and went back to our family name. Don't remember about DH#2, but pretty sure she never took #3's name.
lol @ goon.

redcaboose1717
April 27th, 2017, 03:13 AM
When I married in 1974, I took my husband, Terry's last name. We were married for 29.8 yrs before his death, due to an ER Doctor's stupidity. ( yes, I am still bitter ).
When I remarried, my youngest had just started college one night when he called home, he told me that he really didn't want me to change my last name, that his dad and I had had what he thought was an awesome marriage ( and it was ). At the time, I really hadn't thought too much about this....Three days later, he came home, and at dinner ( with the finance' and my son ) my son brought it up again. My soon-to be hubby said "Your mom doesn't have to chose. It's irrelevant to me if she takes me name or not. She was married to your dad and they had a wonderful life. That's her choice."
Because I couldn't read him well at the time, and didn't want to hurt his feelings, I hyphenated both names....using Dorer-Russell.
Prior to that, I had added my maiden name "Teeples" to my driver's license, as my dad had no sons, only daughters. I changed the last name when I married John. However, if we were to divorce, I would go back to using Dorer, due to the fact that I was a Dorer much longer...
Another reason for not using my maiden name was that in the county we live in, people would immediately ask if I was part of "____ Teeples's family, who had several sons with criminal records. While they were of course cousins, I never knew them and said as much ( to which I usually got a "raised" eyebrow or two ". It wasn't until I was much, much older until I met some of these cousins, and truth be known....my dad would understand if I didn't use my maiden name, simply because he made it clear when I was a teenager that we were not to associate with said cousins.

One more thing.....A friend of mine's sister remarried 3-4 different times....When she re-married, she never notified the Social Security Office. When she went to apply for her Social Security benefits at 66 yrs old, last year....it made an AWFUL mess that took a few weeks to straighten out. My advice to you is to NOTIFY the Social Security OFFICE whenever you decided to legally change your name. This gal thought that when she divorced and took her maiden name back that the "courts" notified the Social Security....They did not. So, instead of believing a friend....do it yourself to save yourself a lot of heartache. ( Unless you are EXCELLENT with names,& dates like I am,)....jot all the marriage dates and names along with ex's social security numbers and their mother's maiden names. ( most people aren't ) I would go to the Social Security Admn. yourself and notify them of the name changes , marriages/divorces etc.....it will honestly SAVE you a lot of time, trouble, and most likely money ( it could affect your benefit amount as you can draw on a deceased or divorced spouse if you were married to them for at least 10 yrs or more at the time of their death. ( you can get pamphlets from the Soc. Sec. Admn. that also explains all this as well, mailed to you, if you like.

songbird857
April 27th, 2017, 09:57 AM
I have read this thread and I would like to answer it from another point of view, in my country the surnames are very important and we keep them for the whole life, the women keep all their surnames and pass them to their children although alternating with those of the husband, during many years the husband´s name was ahead and the woman´s later, although for a few years with the equality of women and men can be put first the woman, that depends on the couple. Well I must also say that if any adult not agree with their parents can change the name but it is a court case. To see how they are here are my own, my father "Uribarri-Meñaca" and my mother "Mayor-Lopez" so I have these "Uribarri-Mayor-Meñaca-Lopez" and a lot more that are in our papers and in our Genealogical Tree, I hope you have liked my information and I wish you a happy day

It is the same in Portugal - my husband has his first name, a middle name, his mother's maiden name, a name from his father's line, and finally his last name!

Hulamoon
April 27th, 2017, 10:20 AM
It is the same in Portugal - my husband has his first name, a middle name, his mother's maiden name, a name from his father's line, and finally his last name!

That's crazy. So when he signs his name what does he use?

bubba
April 27th, 2017, 04:11 PM
As far a Social Security goes, they know pretty fast when someone has died. With my dad, he had been airlifted up to Seattle, which is in another county, and died at the hospital there. We had mail two days later from Social Security that they had been notified he had died!

Heather
April 27th, 2017, 04:32 PM
My newlywed husband pouted for months until I changed my name to his. It was not a big deal to me either way, but it was to him. It was a total pain to get everything updated. The Social Security Office? What a joke. Spent 6 hours there waiting for about 10 minutes at the counter to get it all done. :icon_drool::icon_mooooh::icon_angry:

Alana
April 27th, 2017, 04:42 PM
When I was divorced for the second time I changed back to my maiden name and if by some long shot chance I ever, ever, never marry again, I will keep my maiden name because here too, it is such a pain to change even to your married name.

SuzanneOrleansOntario
May 3rd, 2017, 10:36 AM
I was born with the name Quenneville, so when I married in 1974, women were choosing to keep their maiden name. I found it was too long, since I worked at a job where I signed my name a lot everyday. So I took my husband's name Burton, shorter. Married 30 years, kept it after I divorced, as I didn't want to take name back as my Sister in-law is also a Suzanne (long story, don't want to be mistaken for her). I had also been known my work life by this name. Fast forward, I married again Sink. I made a list of costs to change name with all utilities, services, legal, govt, property, financial - over $1000. So I kept it. Now been married awhile, and Burton(ex) is a painful reminder of why he is an ex, and want to drop his name altogether and honour my DH with his name. I will start the process this year. I wish I would have thought to take my grandma's name Aubin.